1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Dealing with the Parents that dont want to know!

Discussion in 'Primary' started by andrew712, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. <font size="2">Hello </font><font size="2"> </font><font size="2">I was wondering if anyone could help me or give me some tips on dealing with a parent that does not want to know</font><font size="2">1) How their child is doing </font><font size="2">2) What they can do to help </font><font size="2"> The Child in questions comes on the odd occasion never comes in on a Friday at parents Evening the parents said "I don&rsquo;t need an appointment I know how my child is doing" </font><font size="2"> </font><font size="2">Help Please! </font>
     
  2. <font size="2">Hello </font><font size="2"> </font><font size="2">I was wondering if anyone could help me or give me some tips on dealing with a parent that does not want to know</font><font size="2">1) How their child is doing </font><font size="2">2) What they can do to help </font><font size="2"> The Child in questions comes on the odd occasion never comes in on a Friday at parents Evening the parents said "I don&rsquo;t need an appointment I know how my child is doing" </font><font size="2"> </font><font size="2">Help Please! </font>
     
  3. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    How is the child doing?

     
  4. I think in this case your job is to teach the child, not teach the parent how to be a caring one. You'll probably never be able to change that and even if you do the parent will probably go back to not giving a hoot after a while...


    I think as long as you are providing what is best for the child and are comfortable with how they are behaving and progressing in school then you will have to do without, in this case, the luxury of a supportive parent or two that is willing to also help the child.


    We're not expected to be providing parenting advice are we? Well I hope not as I don't have my own children!
     
  5. mystery10

    mystery10 Occasional commenter

    Andrew, I wish you were my child's teacher. When we ask how our child is doing, and what we can do to help, it is taken as criticism and we are not told anything unless "fine, don't worry" is an answer, and we are told we should not ever do anything at home to help.
    We are being trained by the school to be like the parent you are finding it hard to communicate with. I am getting to the point where I might stop going to parents' evening, as we have never received any useful info there and paying for a babysitter has been a complete waste of money, and I certainly go the other way now if I see my child's teacher in the playground.
    If this parent did ask you the two questions you would like to be asked, what would you say to them ...... OK you can't give out personal answers on here, but what sort of things would you say?
    And if you think it is very important that this parent receives this info why don't you give it to them anway (in writing for example) without them having to come and see you and ask? Maybe they have had a bad school experience at some point in their life.[​IMG]

     
  6. If the child is not a concern, then you do not need to worry. They are as interested as they are likely to be. I have several in my class who have parents who won't show at parent's eve for various reasons. In past years I have had parents who can't come because of work commitments, those who were school phobic as a child themselves, those with poor english themselves, those with difficult home situations and even one who didn't come because they were vile to me when we were at school together and was embarrassed about it (I for one, didn't even realise who the person was until after the first parents appt... which is when they realised and then stopped coming, even when subsequent children from the family were in my class...v sad).
    There is one child in my class who I really am keeping an eye on for a couple of aspects. Their parents showed at parents eve, looked at work, then scarpered before the appointment time came, so they didn't speak to me. They actively avoid dialogue about their child because they know what their child is like. If I want to speak to them, I have to go out and catch them in the yard on the days they do collect their child rather than when the child goes to after school club.
    When they didn't show after parents evening, I jotted down the notes I had wanted to share with them and sent them home in an envelope the next day as there were important but minor things (such as a lack of organisation re homework etc) that didn't warrant bringing the parents in on an official meeting, but that I didn't want forgotten either.

     
  7. I really don't know what the answer is. I have the same problem with the parents of a child in my class.
    I rang and spoke to mum several weeks ago as I am concerned the child is not progressing (one of only two children in my class of thirty who are not making progress). I expressed my concerns and asked if she could come in and speak to me. She made all the excuses under the sun. I asked if dad could come in as she is unable to. She said she would ask him to ring me to make an appointment. Needless to say, I didn't hear a peep out of him.
    The parents haven't been to parents' evening and we don't see them in school. The child in question is collected by an older sibling. Older siblings have come through the school and we didn't see the parents while they were in the school either.
    Fortunately, in my school, parents such as these are in the minority.
    Sorry not to be able to offer any constructive advice. I just thought I would empathise with you.
     
  8. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    Do you have a particular reason to speak to the parents of this child, other than to see them at parents' evening as a matter of course? Some parents have very bad memories of school from their own childhood, and this can make it very difficult to go through the door to your classroom.
    How do you feel about a phone call? Is it possible to build a friendly relationship in an informal way out in the playground? A chat and a smile, being approachable etc?
    Sometimes parents have learning problems themsleves - which they may not want to advertise - this could also lead to reluctance to meet with the school.
     

Share This Page