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Dealing with students outside of school

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Bex28, May 30, 2011.

  1. I could really do with some advice...
    One of my long-time closest friends is getting married this summer, and I've been really looking forward to it for ages as she's marrying a lovely guy, lots of our mutual Uni friends are coming, the wine will be flowing, and it's basically going to be a brilliant party. However, I found out yesterday that her aunt-by-marriage has two sons by a previous marriage who will obviously be attending... and who both happen to attend the secondary school I teach in! (Friend had no idea or she'd have warned me far earlier).
    I'm feeling really awkward about this now... I don't teach either of the boys currently, but there's always a chance I may do next year. Obviously, I'll now be on best behaviour (at least until they've left) but part of me's now wondering if I should reconsider the dress I bought to wear as it's a little low-cut. Which seems ridiculous - I wore it to my boyfriend's family wedding last month and I figure if I was comfortable wearing it in front of his Gran (she said it was lovely!), then I'm sure it's absolutely fine. I'm also worrying about what to do if I'm introduced to them by first name - I'd probably be inclined to make a joke of it and say "Ah just for today - I'm Miss again on Monday" or something in that vein.
    I don't know, I just feel incredibly weird about the whole situation now - and quite annoyed as I've been looking forward to this wedding for ages!! I usually don't mind running into students outside of school, just smile, say hello and move on - but I feel like they're invading my social life, although since they're her family I'm technically invading theirs! Incidentally, I'm only 24 and in my second year of teaching, which I know shouldn't make a difference, but I do feel quite conscious about it sometimes, and think I would feel better if there was a bigger age gap between myself and the students.
    I've never had this situation before as I live well out of catchment area, and all my family live miles away! Has anyone had to deal with anything similar? Would appreciate any advice or words of reassurance!!!
     
  2. I could really do with some advice...
    One of my long-time closest friends is getting married this summer, and I've been really looking forward to it for ages as she's marrying a lovely guy, lots of our mutual Uni friends are coming, the wine will be flowing, and it's basically going to be a brilliant party. However, I found out yesterday that her aunt-by-marriage has two sons by a previous marriage who will obviously be attending... and who both happen to attend the secondary school I teach in! (Friend had no idea or she'd have warned me far earlier).
    I'm feeling really awkward about this now... I don't teach either of the boys currently, but there's always a chance I may do next year. Obviously, I'll now be on best behaviour (at least until they've left) but part of me's now wondering if I should reconsider the dress I bought to wear as it's a little low-cut. Which seems ridiculous - I wore it to my boyfriend's family wedding last month and I figure if I was comfortable wearing it in front of his Gran (she said it was lovely!), then I'm sure it's absolutely fine. I'm also worrying about what to do if I'm introduced to them by first name - I'd probably be inclined to make a joke of it and say "Ah just for today - I'm Miss again on Monday" or something in that vein.
    I don't know, I just feel incredibly weird about the whole situation now - and quite annoyed as I've been looking forward to this wedding for ages!! I usually don't mind running into students outside of school, just smile, say hello and move on - but I feel like they're invading my social life, although since they're her family I'm technically invading theirs! Incidentally, I'm only 24 and in my second year of teaching, which I know shouldn't make a difference, but I do feel quite conscious about it sometimes, and think I would feel better if there was a bigger age gap between myself and the students.
    I've never had this situation before as I live well out of catchment area, and all my family live miles away! Has anyone had to deal with anything similar? Would appreciate any advice or words of reassurance!!!
     
  3. Act as normal
     
  4. Yup. They'll find it weirder than you do.
     
  5. To be honest I think that you are probably over thinking it and making it more of a big deal than it needs to be. It's appropriate to be introduced to them by first name because you're meeting them in a different context. If your dress is so low cut as to shock is it appropriate for a wedding? Sorry I'm not trying to sound harsh but this really isn't a big deal!
    I think if it was me I'd just smile happily and say "Lovely to meet you properly, I have seen you around XXX High of course!" and just enjoy the day! [​IMG]
     
  6. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    It would be best if you behaved as though you were at a friend's wedding.
     
  7. grandelf

    grandelf New commenter

    they will be too busy hiding from miss to see you getting snozzled and dancing on the table!

    Oh remember we are human and have a life!
     
  8. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    If you think the occasional coincidental social contact is hard, try living in the catchment area and teaching at the school where your kids go. Your kids' friends get invited round to your house at regular intervals. I had that for 7 years and it can be surreal at times.

    One night one of my daughter's friends turned up at our door in floods of tears, having run out of her house and halfway across the village in her socks because her parents were having yet another row. We provided the necessary refuge and Mrs MSB did the TLC bit.

    Next day this kid's in my GCSE lesson and she's disrupting it by talking and giggling too much.

    In response to the OP, it's a non-issue. Be yourself - the two from your school will probably keep well out of your way.
     
  9. The kids will feel more self conscious than you and are highly unlikely to behave badly towards you in the presence of all their aunts, uncles, grandmothers etc. Believe me, they are in a much weaker position than you.

    Weddings are special - so waste no time worrying and enjoy every minute.
     
  10. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    Just want to echo what the other said - just enjoy it. If they think fun ends in their teens then they'll have a boring life - have fun, wear exactly what you want but just pace the drinks (some of my friends go mad on the booze at weddings)Its a great day and they'll be too bothered if you spot them getting up to anything I'd imagine more than the other way around x
     
  11. When I was in the Girl Guides (a century or so ago!) we called our Leader by her first name.
    When we were in school, she was Miss.
    Never a problem.
     
  12. I would not worry at all have a good time and enjoy all that is to be had, just do not drink to much.
    I live in the catchment area for the school I work in, and in the block I live i have 1 studetn and in the block opposite I have 3 and in on the rest of the estate I have another 7 or 8 it is hard going for me and alot of them live in the local area, so I run into them in all the time shopping, walking the dog, gardening, even going to the library.
    So just carry on as normal, after all what have you got to worry about, we are all intitled to a lie outside of the school after all.
     
  13. I live in the parish of the school where I teach, and where my two children attend. Their friends have often been round to the house and even stayed for sleepovers! I've never had a problem with being first name terms at home and Miss in school. Just be normal and friendly!
     
  14. Go have fun, be yourself! I see my pupils out and about a lot, theyre lovely - even the ones who you could murder in lessons come up dead friendly and chatty! They'll be smuggling beer and stuff themselves so would guess they'll say hello and then scamper - probably be good if someone tells them in advance you're going to be there otherwise you might get them running upto you screaming misssss! (disconcerting when buying socks and kickers in primark haha!) Have fun - if anything it could create a bond between you and the pupils?!
     
  15. What a bizzare post OP. Why would you have a problem dealing with real people outside the unreal institution you work in? Suggests a kind of inverted reality to me.
    The problem is all yours.

     
  16. I love this advice! :))
     
  17. Sorry! I meant I love THIS advice! :))
     
  18. Oddly enough life does exist outside of school, I have attended many pupil's engagements, weddings and, as a proud godmother, christenings of aforementioned pupil's offspring!
    Enjoy the day! You are actually human...yes...that does include teachers...lol
     
  19. Just don't do what a colleague of mine did on a hen night recently....
    Very sozzled, in the kebab shop, bumped into a student that left last year and attempted what she thought was a very good act at not being drunk.....
    When they left the kebab shop the rest of the hen party in absolute stitches told her that the whole time she had been animatedly talking to her ex-student she had been smacking the said student in the face with her sparkly deely-boppers (she is around 5ft2 and the student in heels was about 5ft10!!) and she hadn't even realised she was doing it! The lovely ex-student didn't even say to her "Excuse me miss can you keep those things under control!!" and risk embarassing the teacher she had a lot of respect for she just stood there with them repeatedly smacking her.....bless her!
     
  20. Hubby's mum did a spot of supply on occasions - and their school called her up to help them out in a pinch one day.
    Hubby strolled into Maths to be greeted by his mum behind the desk... hadn't done his homework. I think he's still aggrieved at being unceremoniously busted like that.
     

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