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Dealing with inappropriate comments from pupils

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by SleepingGrumpy, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. Although I'm a TA atm I'm starting a PGCE in Sept and I'm worried about my ability to deal with inappropriate comments since an incident before the Easter Holidays.
    I had a year 9 pupil say to me 'you're real pretty miss' whilst I was working in a small group with her and some other pupils. I didn't say anything back to this because I didn't know what to say but I noticed the other students immediately looked to me for a reaction. Afterwards I wished I had said something to show the entire group that I comments like that are not appropriate and I feel like I have been undermined now. I want to make sure that during my PGCE I will know how to deal with these kind of comments confidently. What should be said in reply to that or should nothing be said??
     
  2. Although I'm a TA atm I'm starting a PGCE in Sept and I'm worried about my ability to deal with inappropriate comments since an incident before the Easter Holidays.
    I had a year 9 pupil say to me 'you're real pretty miss' whilst I was working in a small group with her and some other pupils. I didn't say anything back to this because I didn't know what to say but I noticed the other students immediately looked to me for a reaction. Afterwards I wished I had said something to show the entire group that I comments like that are not appropriate and I feel like I have been undermined now. I want to make sure that during my PGCE I will know how to deal with these kind of comments confidently. What should be said in reply to that or should nothing be said??
     
  3. I usually make a joke of it like asking "what are you after?" or a simple "thank you, now get on with your work".
    If it bothers you, you could just say that you don't think its appropriate.
    Try asking others in your work place, what are their reactions?
     
  4. ILoveTeaching

    ILoveTeaching New commenter

    I usually play things down with a joke:
    "I am very easy on the eye...and good at maths....ticking all the boxes...thanks."
    Usually gets a laugh and the problem goes away. It could work in some situations. If a pupil carried on I would tell them it was inappropriate and follow the school behaviour system if they carried on with it. First warning, etc.
    Hope this helps.
     
  5. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    I generally say "Thank you very much, it's kind of you to say so." and move on. Modelling how to accept compliments is pretty important.

    When I say 'usually' I don't mean to imply it happens a lot, it doesn't! But it has done with several presumably poorly sighted pupils.
     
  6. I feel your pain, it's hard work being stunning.
     
  7. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    It wasn't really inappropriate. Just a deflecting comment like " should've gone to Sp..savers" or something would do and then carry on with the work.
    We have to show that we are human sometimes and have a sense of humour [​IMG]
     
  8. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    LOL! I did say it doesn't happen often!
     
  9. In my younger years i would answer that with " What are you after, i don't have my purse with me right now". Hey what can you do when the kids states the obvious..if he keeps doing it or the language changes, then talk to someone.
     
  10. A simple "Thank you. Now then, how would you solve this problem" should suffice. It's not really inappropriate, but is off topic, which I presume is what you mean. I don't get it for looks (haha!) but did get it a bit last year for shoes (now, due to a bad ankle, I'm in boring flats and the kids never care about them). I agree with the poster who said that modelling how to graciously receive a compliment is important- we're taught to be self deprecating that for teenagers to see someone saying a simple "Thank you" to a compliment instead of, "Urg, really?! but I'm so fat" or making a joke about it can be crucial. But not when they're using it as a distraction technique!
     
  11. I agree with those who have said to laugh it off. I wouldn't find it wholly inappropriate, although I guess it depends on the context of the situation. I have tended to either say thank you and then move on or I have occasionally made a joke of it by asking them what they're after. It doesn't hurt for the students to see that we're human.
     
  12. Blimey if you think that's inappropriate you may be in for a shock! [​IMG]
    Sounds a bit like "I like your shoes/watch/hair" if you ask me.
    This isn't a stealth boast is it?
    Inappropriate would have been asking you intimate details about your personal life.

     
  13. Yeah I was about to say that ^^, I was asked if I'd had a boob job a few weeks ago- that was one of those moments where I completely froze... before telling him he was being inappropriate!
     
  14. Ah now! I don't think that this is a stealth boast and this is a brilliant arena for asking for advice on this topic. If she asked colleagues then they might well reach for the sick bucket.


    I can see that it is an issue as where do you draw the line on accepting compliments gracefully? Presumably before you reach the point of boys complimenting you on your "lovely **** Miss!". I think (in the entirely hypothetical case of this occurring to me alas) that I would thank her and add apologetically that it is best not to make personal comments in a school setting.Don't look either too pleased or cross.
     

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