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Daughter ill, need time off - help!

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by welshlass, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. welshlass

    welshlass New commenter

    My daughter was diagnosed with severe anorexia at the beginning of January. I know it might come as a surprise to some out there, but although we knew she was thin, we did not realise just how ill she has become, she is very good at hiding things. Anyway, following four counselling sessions and a re-feeding starter programme, we have been told that she will no longer be able to go to school and must be cared for at home by a parent (me). I am genuinely stressed about all this and cannot concentrate at school but how do I arrange a doctors note for potentially a few months? Please help me!!
  2. GLsghost

    GLsghost Star commenter

    I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and wish you both well.

    You have a statutory right to take time off to deal with dependents' emergencies, though this is supposed to be short-term, to make arrangements.

    You are entitled to take parental leave of up to 4 weeks per year to care for a child under 18.


    It may be that you have better contractual rights than that, from your employer.

    As the parent of a child with a likely qualifying disability under EqA 2010, you may not be treated less favourably for being associated with a person with a disability.

    Ensure you discuss this situation with your union.

    If you have not already done so, make an application for Disability Living Allowance for your daughter.

    If you have to take time out unpaid, you can claim Carers Allowance for those weeks.
    notsonorthernlass likes this.

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    I have sent you a message.
  4. chelsea2

    chelsea2 Star commenter

    When my mum was very ill, my doctor signed me off with 'stress due to family circumstances'. It meant I could look after her at home until she died 3 months later. School was fantastic about it - they put no pressure on me to return ,and indeed, encouraged me to go to see the doctor to be signed off. The insurance cover enabled them to provide supply cover for my class during my absence.

    Could you see if your doctor will sign you off with stress?
    notsonorthernlass likes this.
  5. Deirds

    Deirds Senior commenter

    Following up on GLsghost's post...

    DLA is now Personal Independence Payment or something. Less tedious form filling but more difficult to get, I understand. You really need CAB or Disability group to help fill in these forms. There may be an anorexia support group and they may be able to offer advice on this. It is really easy to underestimate how much help your child needs for the purpose of these forms.

    Carers Allowance is the grand total of £61 odd per week at the moment. You get it after PIP has been granted provided you meet certain conditions. I don't know exact amount because you have to declare irregular work like Supply 2 months at a time. After a lot of chasing it arrives 12 weeks later. They're understaffed. New claims should be fairly straightforward though,

    Good luck.
  6. TheoGriff

    TheoGriff Star commenter


    @welshlass , nothing to ass to the above except that O am so sorry that you and your family are going through such a difficult time.

    I wish you all a positive outcome, and less stress than you are having at present.

    Best wishes

  7. GLsghost

    GLsghost Star commenter

    The OP's daughter is under 16, so the claim would still be for DLA for her and not PIP.


    Carer's Allowance is an income-replacement benefit. IT would be worth claiming this because disability premiums can vbe added to the amount paid. You will have to declare any days of work etc - but the Citizens Advice link above will lead to you information on Carer's Allowance and explain how you could use it, if you need to take unpaid leave.

    If you need specific advice about your particular situation and benefits, CA can advise you. Your union, of course, also ought to be able to assist you with specific advice about this.
  8. Deirds

    Deirds Senior commenter

    Sorry for my mistake about DLA. For this form keep a diary of everything that your daughter needs help with for a while before filling in the form. Get advice about the specific needs your daughter may have. There are probably things that you do without thinking.

    I didn't mean to imply Carers Allowance wasn't worth claiming for. Maximum earnings just over £100 per week. You have to care at least 30 hours a week. You have to have Middle or higher rate DLA. You can't do study/work for more than 16 hours a week (I think).

    Take care of yourself at this difficult time.
    GLsghost likes this.
  9. GLsghost

    GLsghost Star commenter

    No apology necessary! Benefits of all kinds are a nightmare - but the CA website has all the specific information needed.

    As I said, the OP's union ought to be on hand to help with this too - it's what she pays for.

    Carer's Allowance isn't a lot of money - but it could passport the OP to other benefits if she does find herslf with no option other than to take unpaid leave. I am hopeful that her employer's policy may be more compassionate in the circumstances.

    Being in receipt of Carer's Allowance may, for instance, passport to Housing Benefit, which might help with paying rent. She may not need it - but at least she knows it's out there as a possibility.

    Trust me: the PIP form is a bloody nightmare!! There are about 54 pages, each of which has to be photocopied for a record afterwards!
  10. Deirds

    Deirds Senior commenter

    Ok - slightly better figures if you look on DWP website. My Carers Allowance is so delayed I've lost track.

    Please, please, please get help filling in the forms though.

    Also, do check carefully with CAB what you are entitled to. It all gets very complicated. What hey give with one hand they take away with the other..

    There are Carers chat rooms and there are probably support groups relevant to your circumstances as well. These are really worth contacting for support.
  11. GLsghost

    GLsghost Star commenter

    The benefits calculator on the Turn2Us website is good and can be used at home:


    Citizens Advice can help with the completion of the DLA forms. Advisers can do it with the Disability Rights Handbook open in front of them, which defines precisely the number of points available under each heading. How you explain the applicant's condition under each heading makes all the difference.

    This information is also available on the internet, if you Google.

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

  13. xena-warrior

    xena-warrior Star commenter

    Sorry, nothing helpful to add, but didn't want to read and run. Best wishes to you both and I hope your employers will be sympathetic and supportive.

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