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Dad has a couple of days to live - advice needed

Discussion in 'Personal' started by magic surf bus, May 1, 2011.

  1. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Sorry to hear about your situation. I'd suggest you keep talking to him when it seems right to do so, even if he's not responding. Assume he can hear you. Don't feel guilty if you're not there at the final moment - you need rest, and must conserve some strength for all that follows.

    Five weeks ago my step dad was given a few days to live, and he went within two days - get any close relatives to visit now, without delay. His brother didn't arrive on time to see him before he died.
  2. lapinrose

    lapinrose Star commenter

    Just sending you some love and a hug. ()
  3. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Just letting you know we're still thinking of you.[​IMG]
  4. My father-in-law died last June. We sat with him talking about nothing in particular. We held his hands. We wanted him to know we were there. His last words to me were 'look after mum' and to my mother-in-law were 'be happy.'

    However you deal with it will be right for you even if it's not right for anyone else. For example my sister-in-law asked for a lock of his hair. She hadn't planned it, it just felt right for her at that moment.

    I fell into the role of comforter, especially for my 12 year old nephew, which is not a natural role for me. We cried together away from the others because it was right for us.

    .As someone else said notify anyone who would want to be there. Two of his sons didn't get there in time. That has really affected the grieving process for one of them.

    My thoughts are with you at this sad and difficult time.
  5. dominant_tonic

    dominant_tonic Established commenter

    You are in my prayers and thoughts. I am si sirry. xx
  6. Seadream

    Seadream New commenter

    Well Dad is still going - just - they said 2-3 days and it's now nearly 2 weeks. We're all unbelievably tired as we've made sure he's had someone with him round the clock.
    Thanks for all your kind messages - I've actually had the chance to spend time with him that I've never had before and it has been a blessing.
  7. breadmaker

    breadmaker New commenter

    Sorry to hear what you're going through, when my brother was dying, best advice anyone ever gave me was the consultant who told me to talk about ANYTHING he wanted to and if that meant he wanted to plan a holiday for next year then so be it.
    You will draw comfort from being with your dad in these last few weeks and you will get the strength to support your mum- you won't know where it comes from,but it will come.
    Peace to you all.

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