Cyclothymic disorder..... a milder version of being bi-polar. Long periods of mild to (occasionally) severe depression (months at a time) followed by a brief (usually 2-4 weeks) of feeling really happy and energized.......I still teach and function in the depressive state, and mainly hang around 'entertainment' threads as a diversion, so I come across as being 'happy' .......but I'm not. (TES is a lovely diversion for me and has kept me sane at the worst of times) . I've just had my 'good' phase, and now I've hit low point and just want to just die peacefully. I don't mean I'm feeling suicidal...I'd never do that...have been through this for years, so am not going to start now! But I just get so very tired of it all..... The sad thing is that in the 'up' period, you want to stay that way....but you just know that the 'downs' will follow. It's all peaks and troughs for me, and I just long to be 'content'. The lows are difficult, the highs are tiring.....I'd just like to feel just 'ok' most of the time.... To any of you who read this....I'm not talking about the normal highs and lows of life...we all get those.... I'm talking about very, very grim lows, and very high, 'highs' and never, ever reaching a neutral ground......Anyone else have this? And how do you cope?