1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Could do with some cheering up...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by skt107, Jul 10, 2011.

  1. Feeling a tad fed up at the moment, of only ever meeting men who appear have a phobia of commitment! This one I genuinely thought was interested. We've met up a few times, nothing's happened between us at all but he seemed keen to stay in touch and keep seeing me. Then I met up with him last night on a night out with friends and we were having a great time until I bit the bullet and told him that I quite liked him, to which he then told me that he couldn't let anything happen between us because he wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want to hurt me (sure I've heard that one before!)
    Did not see that one coming at all :-(. Can somebody tell me where to find the nicer guys please - I know they're out there somewhere...!
     
  2. How long have you known each other?
    Where did you meet?
    I have to admit, it is normally me who says what he has said - do you think you rushed too soon or was he a no-hoper to start with?
    Nice guys are all around you - you have to see them. And there is nothing not nice about guys who are honest about not wanting a relationship - some just want to be friends (that is far better than those who just want to be in your knickers).
    Take it as it comes - you will gain many male friends, who can be good friends and that is worth a lot.
    And one day, one of them will turn out to be your prince [​IMG]
     
  3. So sorry Skt that you arn`t meeting any nice chaps who have a backbone.
    What`s wrong with these young men ? My daughter thinks many of them have no do-dars and has become very picky.
    Maybe the right one will just turn up when most unexpected , but I know this is not what you want to hear. Keep your sights set high and don`t accept 2nd / 3rd best !!
     
  4. Oh I am sorry that must have been very difficult x
     
  5. Thank you celticqueen [​IMG]
    I met him a few months ago on a night out. He asked for my number and we were texting/emailing every couple of days. I didn't see him for a while because we were both away at weekends quite a lot, but then we've met up a few times since and got on really well.
    Definitely not rushed into anything as absolutely nothing has happened, not even a kiss. But I did feel like it was heading in that direction and as soon as I realised I was starting to like him this happened.
    I do respect him for being honest, but I am a tad disappointed [​IMG].
    I hope so!
     
  6. I like this! Haha!
    Thank you - I will - it's just not very often that I find somebody who I like (maybe a bit tooo picky to be honest!)
     
  7. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    So the guy doesn't want a relationship. He's been quite honest about it. While I appreciate the OP was disappointed, I'm struggling to see what the guy has done wrong here.
     
  8. That is normal, if you had started to fall for him.
    Spread your cards - don't put all hope in one person. Keep out and about and getting to know people.
    I know you may think it is easy for me to say - middle aged lady who is not interested in relationships, but I was young once [​IMG]
     
  9. I took it as just trying to boost the OP's esteem a bit ... not saying he did anything wrong per se x
     
  10. Nothing in my eyes. He has been very honest and has not led her on - no trying to get her into bed, etc.
    I would hope my son would do the same.
    I can understand that the OP is sad if she had started to fall for him.
    But he has done nothing wrong - IMO. And before we tell the OP that all young men are awful and have no doo dars (?!), I think it best to put this one down to experience and carry on going out, having a good time, meeting new people who may only turn out to be friends...and one day (trust us oldies!), someone will pop up where you least expect it.
    Yes, if you are wanting a relationship, it is frustrating. But you cannot force it and the old adage is true - you will find when you are not looking xxx
     
  11. It did make me smile so thank you! And no, he's not done anything wrong, in fact it is nice to know exactly where I stand. It does make me wonder if it was something I did though. He did seem very keen at the start...
     
  12. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

  13. Hehe! Yum! [​IMG]
     
  14. Ok - in what way?
    Maybe we need to work on signals sent!
     
  15. My son is 20. I wouldn't like some woman moaning about him because he didn't hit on them. I have raised him to be a gentleman.
    He often goes out for meals with girls on his course at Uni, but it does not mean he wants a relationship with them. Why do women think a man can't talk/eat/be with a woman without there being a further clause?
     
  16. I honestly don't think that was the intention here, I think it was just general moaning/being a bit upset at the situation rather than the blokey! [​IMG]
     
  17. I don't believe that is what the OP has said at all.
    Her reactions to our posts sound fairly sound and sussed to me. So do us all a favour and stop doing your usual melodramatics.
    She is ok - she is disappointed. That is normal. It happens to men too, you know.

     
  18. Hmm! what?
    Let me think - yes, I am a bit of a drama queen often, but I do try to help others and at least admit that I can go over the top.
    You, on the other hand, have NO words of advice, for anyone.
    You paint a picture of your life being perfect. I doubt it is - as none of us have a perfect life. Most of us are normal - we have money worries, sometimes, relationship worries, children who go off the rails, or are untidy, jobs which wind us up, wear us down.
    This is life. It is normal.
    If you have a Martha Stewart life which is perfect, then fine for you. I do remember you being worried about your daugther in Germany and asking me for help when she was off to Wicken.
    So stop the Mrs. Perfect and just be normal. It makes you more a person people would like to listen to.

     
  19. I posted my Hmm before reading your reply.
    Her reactions seem a little paranoid to me, but that is just my reading, which I am as entitled to as you are yours.
    As to melodramatics, I think you have the award there. How is describing the normal life of a bloke melodramatic??? One could go further about a self obsessed introverted toe examining analysis, but we won't/
    Plus, I've known a few men, and there is no mistaking if they are interested. You will not need semaphore to know dearies. I blame Jane Austen.
     

Share This Page