I spent many years in a realtionship like this, it was energy sapping and I spent hours doing other things out of the house and eventually left (and now have someone lovely ). You don't have many choices: 1. talk to her about her negative comments, she may need counselling because of depression (or something), I'm not being flippant btw just don't know her circumstances. 2. Spend more time out of the house, cultivate friends who don't come back to the house (not ideal but do-able?) 3. Not for the faint hearted - leave, take your daughter with you? Just as a thought, what is she like with her daughter? Is she welcoming of her friends or is he as negative, living with a mum (as you have described her) won't be pleasant for her either. Although (as I've tried to say earlier) we only have your perspective on this.