Hi all, I learnt very recently that my beloved dog (Chocolate Lab - got her in 2008 at 3 y/o) is suffering from a multitude of tumors on her lungs and is likely to be put to sleep very shortly due to her weakness, fatigue and likely inevitable suffering should she be left to live slightly longer. It appears to very much be the ethically and most loving thing to do and I support the decision fully. She has been sluggish for a few weeks and collapsed on a short walk yesterday. She is the first dog I've ever had the pleasure of owning and obviously I've always known this day would come, but it really doesn't make the process any easier. To further complicate matters, I am currently working on the other side of the world at an International School, and have been since August 2017, making that the last time I saw her (lives with my parents). She was growing older but healthy as anything, but I said a loving goodbye knowing this was a distinct possibility, but also truly expecting to see her again. Despite the rational part of my brain repeatedly stating that this is right in every respect, she has had a long and happy life with us, and that it isn't my fault I'm here and not there, whenever I get a free minute from not teaching or marking or planning or anything else involving work I can feel an overwhelming sadness I've not really felt in my life as of yet - no close family or friends have passed away so far in my lifetime, and besides goldfish (!) , I've never had a pet before her. We got her from a family who were emigrating, but who hadn't really trained her for domestic life. I raised her, trained her, was her primary walker/pack leader for years and spent more time with her than anyone else. I just want to be back in the UK scratching her ears in the way only I can do when she shuts her eyes, but I cannot, and it really gets to me. I had to go for a short walk around the school playground during a free lesson today because I had something in my eye. I suppose my main questions/points are: - Experienced pet owners (especially dog owners) - How is the best way to deal with this kind of loss? (I've done the usual browse around but everything blurs into one...) - Teachers - How can I ensure that I keep it all together at work? Throw myself into it to keep my brain busy or take time to sit alone at home afterwards and process it properly (shed a few tears)? - How can I rationally and practically tell myself that I'm not at some kind of fault for being all the way on the other side of the world and not by her side when she closes her eyes? Many thanks for taking the time to read.