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Coping as a HOD with kids

Discussion in 'Heads of department' started by j_pink, Jan 21, 2018.

  1. j_pink

    j_pink New commenter

    Update. It is still tough. Mindfulness and being strict with my nights 'off' are crucial. Buying more biscuits than ever.
  2. VeronicAmb

    VeronicAmb Occasional commenter

    It is very rough. When I was HoD my children were 3, 8 & 14. Remarried a year before the youngest was born. So it was quite easy "dumping" the middle and eldest with their father on weekends. The older one stayed with his father a lot more. This was a lot easier. But at his age, he doesn't need looking after like 3 and 8.

    Definitely have nights off. I had Friday nights off and Saturday evenings off. I also made sure the kids could be looked after by family members or have sleepovers. But after a while, passing my kids from pillar to post had be in a bad way and I started feeling guilty for prioritising my work over my kids. That's how the first marriage ended. I was not prepared to let my job get in the way of my home life. So, I just decided to quit. Looking back, I miss it, but do not regret it. Of course I'm not saying you need to do this. As long as it's getting better for you and you can maintain it then that's fine. Not to slate on other subjects but as HoD for English, you could imagine the sort of stress and pressure I was under. I had a lot of GCSE and A-levels during my last year of teaching because of reshuffling due to in-house promotions. If it was another subject, I think it wouldn't be too bad. The marking of my own classes with marking of other classes just got too much.

    All the teachers still fighting out there, good on you!
    JohnJCazorla likes this.
  3. bbunwise

    bbunwise New commenter

    I have a routine. Monday to Friday I work as hard as I can during the school day. When I get home, I am a dad until my 4 kids go to bed. Then I work from about 8pm to 10 or 11pm. Then I clean the kitchen while watching the i-pad. I make sure I have the dad time though. Although it is only 2 hours a day and often involves club runs, it is the most important part of the day. It is really tempting to start working as soon as I get in, but I avoid this through routine. My wife is a reception teacher so we work together in front of the tv at night. We sometimes even talk at the weekend. Luckily, I enjoy the work I do so it is not as painful as it sounds.
    evivyover and j_pink like this.
  4. salsera

    salsera New commenter

    Please enjoy your family.. it is so important. I was HOD throughout my children growing up and I missed so much; I also nursed a terminally ill husband and worked full-time and dealt with his death when the children were 7 & 9 - life is too short.
    Smart mark - print off labels and stick into books with set phrases of WWW and EBI. Get students to peer mark. Use stamps to say verbal feedback given.
    finchy and khughes09 like this.
  5. evivyover

    evivyover New commenter

    Its very doable. Im HOD for a core subject. My little one will be 2 in Nov and I work full time. I only had 4 months mat leave and did 4 days. Which I found I was doing work on my day off. So started back full time in Sep.
    My hubby picks up our LO from the childminder mostly. I ensure I do all my work at school. So when Im at home I focus on family.

    The most I do are read and check emails, find resources and on my phone.

    When needed I will bring test papers home etc. But I try my hardest to use my time in school to do what needs to be done. Also, try to leave by 4.30.

    I had to be very organised but it has then meant I can really relax all weekend and not think about work guilt free untill sunday evening.
    finchy likes this.

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