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Cooking mishaps, mistakes and downright disasters....

Discussion in 'Cookery' started by Bethannie, Mar 16, 2011.

  1. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    I mentioned on another thread that we all have things go wrong in our cooking....so how about sharing some of our less-than-triumphant culinary enterprises...
    OK, I'll start gently, with a couple of stories that aren't me...but happened to family members...
    I think I've mentioned elsewhere that a certain family member had heard that you can 'calm down' a curry by adding joghurt...but hadn't quite grasped that it should be natural joghurt - she added a pot of strwberry joghurt to her curry!
    And then there was the time mum made buttercream and left the last spponful or so in a bowl in the fridge...and used it to fry eggs the next morning!
    Oh and mum again....trust me, she is usually the world's most amazing cook!...when she first got a microwave she cooked a porkchop and wondered why people said meat doesn't brown in amicrowave...she hadn't understood how a microwave works and had put it in for about 20 minutes! ...Yes, it was brown....and shrivelled and dry and rock hard and inedible.

    And my own confessions...
    I have made a curry and got the sauce consistency totally wrong, it was so thin and refused to thicken - so I had to turn it into a pot of spicy soup.
    I once tried to make a banoffee pie....and forgot to pierce the tin of condensed milk before putting in the pan....I had to clean the ceiling after the explosion!
    And I think I've told before how as students we decided to cook a Christmas dinner,but due to some sort of alcohol related amnesia we forgot to defrost the turkey. Someone suggested defrosting it in the microwaves - but it was too big. We ended up 'borrowing' some small saws from the art department and hacking the turkey to pieces to get small enough chunks to defrost. (How we didn't get food poisoning I don't know!)

  2. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    Having come out of hospital post-op, put some chicken bones on to make stock, fell asleep and woke up to a fire in the kitchen!!
    But no real disasters, suppose that's my training. Have had to sort out disasters in the classroom though. One boy overmeasured the milk when making scones, so with the aid of a hot frying pan we had drop scones.
  3. Well there is the inedible vegetable curry I made last night. Plus I have the usual assortment of sinking cakes and overcooked steak but not many real disasters as I've not been that adventurous so far. I expect this situation to change soon and over the next few weeks and months I dare say I will have a few more disasters to add.
    My Dad, in a rare foray into the kitchen because my Mum was at work and hadn't left anything, tried to make spaghetti bolognese. He fried the mince off and served it up then wondered why it was a bit dry and not like Mum makes. He was quite shocked to find out it had tomatoes and onion etc in it (perhaps this is where I get some of my wariness from).
    My cousin started cooking and decided to make the meal more exciting by adding blue food colouring to mashed potato. This wasn't a disaster as such but it made life......interesting.
  4. nick909

    nick909 Star commenter

    Quite recently made a pea soup using the stock from cooking a home cured-ham. Made the mistake of tasting the stock for saltiness when it was chilled, forgetting that flavours are inhibited in cold food. When hot and in the form of soup, and even with a load of split peas and a couple of spuds thrown in, it was like sea water. Had beans on toast that night.
  5. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    Son's birthday in February - he wanted "Blondies" so we made the wonderful Nigella recipe with white chocolate instead of dark - after 4 hrs in the oven it was still raw and I had to run to the shop to but a Betty Crocker mix to serve his friends!!
  6. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    About 4 months ago, I was making a loaf of raisin bread in the breadmaker. Mixed up the quantities for sugar and salt. Inedible.
  7. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    Just remembered that I was making a batch of bolognaise about 6 months ago and tipped in a very substantial amount of dried oregano and gave the pan a good stir. Nothing wrong with that you might think, until I realised that the 'dried oregano' was actually cumin seeds.
  8. ljr

    ljr New commenter

    I didn't hear the pressure cooker come up to pressure & so eventually it released gravy in a very powerful jet up onto the ceiling, over my cookery books, covered the window, shelves, floor - in fact almost the whole kitchen was dripping with gravy. It then cooled and started dripping from the ceiling in fatty drops, so I had to get the mop to 'clean' the ceiling. Lovely brown stain now. I love my pressure cooker & have been using one for over 30 years, but maybe now I'll buy one of those automatic ones.
  9. nick909

    nick909 Star commenter

    Once, in my very early years of fending for myself as a wet behind the ears student, I decided to make mashed potatoes to go with my Fray Bentos pie. Proud as I was to be making proper mash, rather than some reconstituted ****, I couldn't help but feel that my mash was a touch on the sloppy side, having added too much milk. Thinking back and remembering that my mother often used flour as a thickener, especially for sauces and gravies, I decided to stir a few tablespoons of flour into into it.
    Didn't occur to me that the flour might need cooking and so the now dryish mash would taste of raw flour. Inedible.
  10. Mr RW (who can normally cook quite well, he was just a bit tired) tried to do pasta bake using a pre-made jar of sauce. Unfortunately he forgot to add any pasta so I had to wait even longer while it went back into the oven for a second time, this time with the much needed pasta.
    Thing is he is not the only person I know to have done this though. The other time was due to gunuine lack of cooking knowledge. A youth leader (never moved out of home despite being in his 50s and never had to cook) had to cook for a group of kids on camp. He decided to keep it simple and use jars of pasta bake which he puored into trays and heated up - he genuinely didn't know (and didn't have enough sense to read the jar) that you had to had the pasta yourself. The kids were a bit hungry that night.
  11. landaise

    landaise Occasional commenter

    My OH, bless him, once tried to make a Tunisian dish he'd eaten years before having only heard part of the ingredients and the end of the cooking method (a recipe on the radio )
    Not very successful.
    Not very......edible.
  12. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    That reminds me of the time my sister-in-law had just come out of hospital after having broken her arm. My brother-in-law tried to "cook" her Sunday lunch to try and cheer her up - he bought a chicken and roast potatoes from the hot chicken counter at the supermarket. He bought some carrot batons already sliced up and plonked them in a saucepan on a high heat for 2 hours - without pouring any water over them. He served them up with the cold chicken and potatoes with a beef stock cube mixed with water.
    Some of it was almost certainly inedible, but it put the smile back on her face!
  13. The first time I made schmooo soup (from the poster who is no longer around), I forgot to put the lid on my blender - the kitchen wall still has some slight specks of butternut squash colour to verify the fact.
    I once managed to make an omelette without eggs (don't ask, I was drunk).
    When I was a wee kid (I think I was about 7 or 8), Mum was really ill and so I decided I was going to make her a nice jacket potato. In my innocence, I scrubbed the potato with a brillo pad.
    I also once made a pie and forgot to put the filling in (also drunk).
    I have also on more than one occasion managed to make a chilli without chilli.


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