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Continuing to work - opinions on this one (SPD related)

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by becky70, Mar 18, 2012.

  1. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    Your health and your baby's health comes first. Having said that, if you desperately needed the money I'd say try to carry on - you're in the position I once thought I'd be in - it's tough if you haven't even qualified for MA.
    Having said that, I notice you said you're not going back on supply - does this mean that you're going to be a SAHM? If so, you'll be living on OH's money alone anyway and fairly soon as you're already 31 weeks. Your tuition will bring in some money so keep that going if you can but I don't think you should feel any obligation to your agency. You said you haven't even had enough work to get MA so they haven't been doing much for you!
    I know you and your OH have waited a long time to be parents so don't feel guilty about money - you are going to make your OH a dad soon and it sounds like he is only to glad to support you financially. Good luck.
     
  2. sabby81

    sabby81 New commenter

    I was signed off with SPD at 34 weeks-had it a lot longer but hobbled on as I didn't want to let the school/kids down. I found the more I pushed myself, the more pain I was in and whilst other teachers and the kids were lovely and could see it-the bosses above did nothing to amaze it a bit easier for me. I shouldn't have kept going as long as I did - its only got worse now. I'm 36+2 weeks ATM, and cannot walk more than a few meters without wincing in pain. It's hardest in the middle of the night when I'm half asleep and have to get up for the toilet-swinging out of bed is agony! My advice would be not to try it. Totally understand about the money situation...but you have to get plenty of rest. Tough times ahead...but the more you rest and look after yourself, the sooner you'll be back to work after baby is born and earning again x
     
  3. sabby81

    sabby81 New commenter

    PS supply agencies are a joke-they tell the schools how amazing the teachers they have are, tell the teachers how amazing the schools are....the reality is usually very different. Our school has sent home several supply teachers in the past as they have been shockingly bad!!! All the while, the agency is taking a fat cut out of the teacher's wage (school
    Pays approx £200 a day; teacher takes home £120). Do not be afraid of letting the agency down-they'll do what suits them! X
     
  4. Yeah Becky I'm not going back on supply - it's no longer at all viable as a means of making a living if you've got to factor in paying out for childcare and transport. The plan is to stop tutoring at the start of May, restart that in September on a very light load (thinking a couple of hours a week) to keep things ticking over (although I've got everyone trying to line me up for their younger siblings at the moment already!) and then gradually build that up as a stronger means of income as time goes on since the demand is insane around here. Long term plan is to go into school voluntarily when the baby starts school and try to rebuild my CV/references that way with a view to keeping options open (I'm kinda stuck because the heads I used as referees have retired and vanished off the radar).
    Be sad to let this school down though as they are a genuinely nice school (I get a name other than "the supply") and it's a lovely class of kids - think I've cancelled 2 supply bookings in the last 6 years or so!
    Still very very sore today and had minimal sleep - ended up dozing watching the F1 since I couldn't get comfortable at all however I lay - think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and ring them tomorrow to ask if they can replace me in the booking with how things are looking.
    We shall try to ignore the fact that the roof isn't going to last another winter without repair jobs and the car's making an ominously expensive sounding noise... and grit my teeth watching the Euromillions winners drive around the local Tesco carpark! (The winning pointy finger got lost, was heading for my house and landed about two/three streets away - gah!)
     
  5. I think you may need to consider the long term risks of carrying on. I was lucky in that, despite significant pain (stopped short of crutches but I had already given up supply so could rest a lot) after my first baby was born the SPD just disappeared. This pregnancy it has not really reared it's head too much and only for short spells at a time (which is amazing and wonderful and I've really been glad as I've had to keep up with my 2 year old!). I think it's different baby / position but also the pilates in the middle helped.
    However it is possible for SPD to cause longer term problems, in life in general as well as in potential future pregnancies. You can't know whether this will apply to you, but playing the long game you need to minimise risk of long term pain from this condition if you possibly can.
     
  6. Reread your post Mr Fibble but put someone else's name above it. What would you tell them? Beachhut also makes s really important point. Look after your health, please.
     
  7. Waiting for the early morning cover calls to finish before I call in for a roasting off the agency and the inevitable guilt trip for dropping out of a booking. Feel guilty as sin that hubby's taken up so much of the slack (I can't even get out to walk the dogs which is driving me nuts) and bored out of my mind stuck at home every day for the next 2 months... it's getting ridiculous that I can't shuffle to the end of the street with another good few weeks of this to go - and yet there's a (thankfully small) element in the medical profession whose eyes just light up with glee that they've got the fat woman to develop something so they've found a stick to beat her with - one of the hospital consultants is like this.
     
  8. **** 'em.




    Come on, Mr. F. Stop being so negative about everything. In a very short space of time, your wee one will be here, and all your previous gripes will be forgotten. It's true. Then they'll be replaced by a whole batch of new ones, haha.
     
  9. Last thing I'm trying to do is be negative about it all - and every wiggle and even the foot wedged in my rib cage is an utter blessing... but I'm stuck at home (I can't even make it to the paper shop) unable to get out at all, can't even do much in the way of getting the house sorted cos I'm in so much pain and pretty blooming fed up with it - and got a good month or two of it still to go. Don't have a car during the week either, and even when I do - can't get out and about then much because even holding a shopping basket is nigh on impossible on crutches. Have a horrid feeling I'm going to start to struggle much more driving soon as well which will probably finish me off completely. Because of where we are geographically - to even go and get a bus to go into town requires walking up and down a really really steep hill which I can't manage at the moment as well - so I am essentially housebound the bulk of the time.
    So yep, I'm feeling pretty down about it all - especially since there's nowt they can do about it. HATE feeling utterly reliant on hubby, especially for another chuffing 9 weeks of this.
    Add in my mother deciding to flip out and be completely neurotic about finding out I'm on crutches as well, and doing a lot of quite nasty emotional blackmail to try to be allowed to come to the birth that I'm having to fight, the fact I ain't slept in weeks cos everytime I move my pelvis reminds me it's screwed and I'm in quite massively a vile mood - especially considering how hard we've had to fight to even GET to this point, whereas other relatives just removed their underwear, fell pregnant, glowed throughout and had chuffing 50 minute labours and were home in a few hours!
     
  10. As one who went two weeks overdue (with my own problems which I won't bore you with) you just HAVE to roll with it and try to accept being reliant on someone else. Seriously. You have no other choice. The sleep issue is ****, I know exactly what it's like. Sadly, that's not going to change either - if there's any chance you can sleep during the day (and I used to inwardly tut when people said that to me) then you should.

    As for the boredom, box-set it, darlin'. If it hadn't been for Deadwood, Battlestar and The Wire, I would've gone mad.
    Anyway - sorry if I made you feel you had to justify being grumpy - b*tch your **** off, the later stages of pregnancy suck even without SPD et al. I promise it'll all seem a distant memory in the not too, um, distant future though. Honestly.

    Sorry no paragraphs (chrome)
     
  11. I know how you feel - it is so demoralising and difficult, and whilst of course we are all so so pleased we are having our babies it is still hard sometimes, and a challenging pregnancy is a big sacrifice on the part of a woman's own life, identity and career.
    In my first pregnancy I was puking for 6 months then SPD for the rest (and a difficult, long labour and complicated recover!). In my second I was fairly housebound when I didn't have someone else to help with sickness, low blood pressure, fainting and dizziness for a lot of the first 6 months ... whilst looking after an 18 month old too. People who sail through pregnancy are lucky and we are all pretty jealous of them, I think. I am now nearly 39 weeks and hoping for a more straightforward birth experience this time (can't control it, though!!).
    Coffeekid is right though, in that when there are things we can't control or change we need to have a good rant then find a way through. Every feeling of resentment or frustration makes things worse... that is not to say we can just turn them off but there is definitely a link between managing to accept things and not fret and things being more manageable. I find this something so difficult to do that I have actually had some counselling (with CBT training too) during this pregnancy to try to be a bit more able to relax and accept things. That plus hypnobirthing training! Not cheap options but feel that the skills and tools are helping me now and will help me in parenting 2 little ones (and enjoying it rather than surviving).
     
  12. Oh and internet supermarket shopping was a basic essential for me by later stages of both pregnancies. Even now (SPD very mild this time after intensive core strength work between pregnancies) if I do a supermarket shop I hurt for 2 days. Trolley pushing not good, nor hefting around a basket awkwardly.
     
  13. I know it's horrible, I'm only 20 weeks and already got crutches, I too grin and bear it at work cos I'm only temp, and want a good reference at the end of it. Terrible that I have to do that, but the job situation makes it necessary unfortunately. I'm going to be going on maternity leave at 30 weeks, and as much as I hate not being at work I can't imagine being able to sustain the pain by that point.

    What I have decided to do though, is to start a small craft business when I go on maternity (I made all my own wedding bouquets and centrepieces, and have decided to make and sell them online come May), which will supplement our income but also keep me amused. I can do it sitting at home, and won't need any special equipment.

    If you could think of something small like that, you could get an extra income, and take your mind off everything.

    Best of luck x
     
  14. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    I think pregnancy on supply and temporary contracts must be so hard, especially if you feel rough during pregnancy as the pressure's on to pile in the dosh before baby arrives.
    It is rubbish when you've spent so long trying to start your family and then you spend your whole pregnancy feeling rubbish but hopefully there are better times ahead for you all.
     
  15. sent you a PM misterflibble
     
  16. In my first pregnancy my pelvic pain was better at the end - I assumed it would get worse and worse and it just didnt. I could hardly walk at 25 weeks it was odd. Oh and my BMI at booking was 22, it really winds me up the way some doctors blame weight for everything.
     
  17. My pelvic pain reduced towards the end of my first pregnancy, too - I also had assumed it'd be inevitably downhill as things got bigger. But it improved in last 5 weeks or so
     
  18. That's good to hear, something to hope for!! My physio said it would gradually get worse, but she didn't say if it would be continually worse or if it might get better. Glad to hear some good news from others about it [​IMG]
     

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