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Confidence knock

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ff392, Jan 7, 2012.

  1. My ex conned me into talking to him last night and I was horrified at how rude , how vile , how crude he was to me ! He said some horrid things , and sounded so bitter and angry ( bearing in mind he left me and is with someone else!) I ended the call as it got too much !
    I just get so low , I keep telling myself all the positives, and there are many, but certain things he said keep popping back into my head !

    How can someone I once loved and trusted change into such a horrid person ??

    No answers I know , just needed to get it off my chest !
     
  2. I don't know. But it happens. My ex did the same. Horrid. He is the nasty one. Delete his number, block him on facebook etc. Have a lovely deep bath and cuddle the cat / dog / goldfish (don't hug the goldfish for too long) x
     
  3. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    I agree - block him every way you can and never speak to him again if you can help it without someone else being present. The best revenge is a happy life.
     
  4. I don't have his number and have changed my number but at midnight he rang my son and said he urgently needed to talk to me !

    Horrid to hear him blaming me when he went off with someone else !

    Deep breaths !!!!
     
  5. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    What on earth was so urgent about slagging you off? What a $%&*!
     
  6. If you can't never have contact with him again then make sure that when you do he thinks you're amazingly happy, busy and having a wonderful life. Even if you're lying and you're really sitting on the sofa in pyjamas crying most of the time. In time you'll feel better again and it will give you solace to look back and think he never knew you were unhappy. Say you're not able to talk for long because you're about to go out etc. My one regret with my relationship break up is that he knew how unhappy I was.
     
  7. Think of it this way - you are well shot of him! Strikes me that he must have regrets if he gets up to this kind of thing, but you are so much better off out of there if that's what he's capable of. Don't let him get to you - and tell your son you're not home to him in future.

    Hope you have someone in real life to talk to about this.
     
  8. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    Just don't speak to him - and get an injunction if he's persistent.
     
  9. polly.glot

    polly.glot New commenter

    You poor darling. Thing is, he didn't just become that horrid person - he was always like that. It's like eating a yummy-loooking apple till half-way through, you discover a nasty worm and rotten patch. He is really angry at you because of his regrets. He is obviously not happy and wants you to be miserable too. I like the advice of a previous poster who says that you should not allow him to triangulate through your son. If he needs to talk to you, then go through a solicitor. I also like the idea of rubbing his nose in it by being busy, happy and positive. Remember, he is that nasty worm and it's great that you found it before you finished the apple.
     
  10. It's all because I've started to divorce him ! And he knows I've moved on and doing lots of new things and 2 out of 3 of my boys don't want to see him .

    Very manic behaviour at midnight !

    Told my son when he apologised , not his fault and his Dad shouldn't of put him in that position. My ex hates the thought that he can't ring me !
     
  11. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    How old is your son FF (the one he phoned)? I think a previous poster is right - he is jealous - of the fact that you are moving on and are successful if nothing else. How dare he think he has the right to speak to you when he wants and at midnight too - after he was the one to leave you! Sorry but I get so cross. Tell him to speak to your solicitor and not to use your children as a go between - despicable.
     
  12. My son is 16 but the only one who has contact , I know a lot is said in front of this woman for effect , but to think its ok to call me pathetic etc is out of order ! Laugh he said I wouldn't take you back even if you begged me , my reply , I'm not even thinking it !
    Regrets........ Yes he has !
     
  13. dumpty

    dumpty Lead commenter

    I wouldn't go down the road of pretending to be so, so happy without him - that is coming down to his level and will just drag things on and on. Rather, I'd keep calm next time he calls and just keep repeating that you will not talk to him anymore if he drops to abuse. If he does continue to abuse, calmly say this saddens you but you will end the contact possibilities - then do it.
     
  14. He's since apologised to my son for waking him up saying he was drunk ! So and where's my apology ? There again apologising not good enough !
     

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