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Confessions 2016

Discussion in 'Primary' started by whitestag, Feb 9, 2016.

  1. Skychaserhigh

    Skychaserhigh New commenter

    I love this thread:
    I regularly used to fart behind an obnoxious child, walk off, then frown at him as the children discovered the aroma.
    I once didn't open post for a week. Nothing happened.
    I once used the'f' word in a presentation to 100 other head teachers.
    I haven't made a packed lunch for over 6 years because I flirt with the cook.
  2. bizent

    bizent Star commenter

    The latter....
  3. whitestag

    whitestag Senior commenter


    I was really gutted when our cook retired because she really did fancy me and brought me leftovers wrapped up on her way out of school.

    She was 68.
    bizent likes this.
  4. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Good. I've seen some of your posts lately and am pleased you've been reminded of the lighter side of teaching. It isn't all ****** parents...though may be ****** kids if the last few posts are anything to go by!

    Another one I do...
    I feign meetings with the head to occasionally cancel a lunchtime club, just because I don't feel like doing it that day.
    (I do like doing mine really, just sometimes can't be bothered.)
    jarndyce, bizent and welshwales like this.
  5. abacus1982

    abacus1982 Established commenter

    Sometimes I plan lessons during my drive to work - these are often the best
    I try to avoid going into assembly whenever possible
    Whenever I lead staff meetings I make sure it takes less than the allotted hour
    When there's a test match on I have the live feed from BBC Sport on my laptop so I can keep up to date with the scores
    On the last day of term I watched an Ashes test on my iPad whilst the children watched a DVD
    In my second year of teaching I gave my class a test as I wanted to be able to book tickets to a concert which went on sale at 9:30 in the morning
    kash645, jarndyce, bizent and 4 others like this.
  6. jomaimai

    jomaimai Established commenter

    I always make my class believe they are the best class I have ever had.
    With my actual class it's a joke but they are improving by the day.
    kash645, bizent and teacup71 like this.
  7. whitestag

    whitestag Senior commenter

    • I haven't used WALT and WILF in a single lesson for about 2 years despite it being school policy. Nobody's noticed and strangely, not a single child has asked what happened to them.
    • When the school advisor came in, I left the last two pieces of work unmarked in books because I hadn't had time to mark them and there's no way I was doing it at home the night before just to impress them. Apparently the feedback on them was 'very good'....
    • I admit to openly and regularly slagging off the interactive whiteboard in front of my class because it's useless, never lines up and my writing looks appalling on it.
    • I admit to smirking when one of my characters called another child a 'grass' for dobbing him in it for some minor misdemeanour. He's right, they are a grass and they get on my nerves too with their constant tale-telling.
    • I once wrote 'sort yourself out' on a child's book because he was lazy and his work was awful. He got the message and his work improved immensely.
    • I admit to being bored stiff at parents' evenings and I can tell most of the parents are too.
    • I never do 'show and tell'
    • The cleaner absolutely bores me to death and I admit to hiding when I hear the Hoover being wheeled across the hall towards my classroom.
    • Sometimes (a lot of times) I leave courses early, feigning illness, because they're rubbish.
    bizent and TEA2111 like this.
  8. fennysnake

    fennysnake New commenter

    I never fill in the 'Assessment opportunities' column on my planning. I got fed up with writing 'asking them questions' or alternatively ' marking their books'
    I never annotate my planning. If I want to know who didn't get it, or who did, I look in their books. Or remember.
    I never fill in the 'evaluation' box at the bottom of the planning sheet either.

    Far, far more shamefully I sometimes eat more than my fair share of the biscuits or chocolate in the staffroom, especially if there is no-one else there to see.
  9. fennysnake

    fennysnake New commenter

    Oh, and I paid my sons to a) mark maths tests and (when I was a head) b) analyse data from parent questionnaires and present them in pretty graphs for the governors.

    I can't do that any more as they are both at university studying maths and computer science, so it obviously didn't do them any harm.
    Snoopy1975, bizent and TEA2111 like this.
  10. jomaimai

    jomaimai Established commenter

    Me too ;)!
    bizent and teacup71 like this.
  11. TOWIB

    TOWIB New commenter

    Loving this thread it is making me feel so much better on a Sunday afternoon.
    I once scribbled on a child's work. He kept doing it to others, so in a moment of madness I did it to his! His face was a picture and I was mortified. It made my colleagues roll with laughter for weeks.
  12. Jesmond12

    Jesmond12 Star commenter

    I fell asleep in my office last week for about 15 minutes
  13. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    See I KNEW it was about time I started looking at SLT posts...an office to sleep in! :)
    welshwales, bizent and teacup71 like this.
  14. flumps103

    flumps103 New commenter

    - Sometimes I arrive on Monday morning having done no planning for the week ahead because I was having a life at the weekend. No one dies.
    - Sometimes I miss out SPAG because it bores me to tears.
    - Sometimes I don't write detailed comments in maths books because really, they just need to know if they got it right or not.
    - Sometimes we go outside and do drama for a whole lesson because the sun is shining.
    I could go on and on and on...
    guinnesspuss, dljames2013 and bizent like this.
  15. bizent

    bizent Star commenter

    These are hilarious!! You primary teachers are proppa norty!!

    Loved the one about the chocolate and the biscuits as I do that too! I even have the nerve to deny all knowledge and let others take the blame when they eat the last one.

    This, however, made me cry with laughter!
    welshwales likes this.
  16. cleggy1611

    cleggy1611 New commenter

    I once had to organise a theatre trip for the whole (small) primary school. Remembered to book the bus but completely forgot to ring the theatre to book the tickets...
  17. zebra

    zebra New commenter

    I often tell the children small lies about what really is hidden in the staff room like a hot tub or a in house McDonald's

    Myself and another year 6 teacher once told the children that the letter s had been banned so the children ended up calling us by our s-less names for half a year.
    dljames2013 likes this.
  18. dljames2013

    dljames2013 New commenter

    I am loving this thread - the posts have me in hysterics!
    Cheered me no end this morning.
  19. jomaimai

    jomaimai Established commenter

    Once I helped, a Y2 class teacher, pretend that she was the twin sister of herself. She had a new haircut and the whole class believed her. The smarter ones were, indeed, asking lots of questions.
  20. Rayndrop88

    Rayndrop88 New commenter

    There have been times if I've had a busy weekend when I haven't planned or resourced anything for a topic lesson and in fact had not idea what I was going to teach. Once or twice they have turned out to be some of my best lessons.
    guinnesspuss and wanet like this.

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