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Confessions 2016

Discussion in 'Primary' started by whitestag, Feb 9, 2016.

  1. whitestag

    whitestag Senior commenter

    I remember a fabulous thread on here, sadly not with us anymore. So in the current climate of ever-changing goalposts and the upcoming SATs, I wondered if it was time for an update!

    Here are my 2016 confessions:

    • I don't always share an LO or SC - and these end up being my best lessons
    • My class work best in silence most of the time
    • I don't always write next steps on every piece of work - nobody dies
    • I think half of the training sessions we have to do are pointless
    • I'm never without a cup of coffee, even when I'm teaching
    • I let the kids get muddy at playtime - sometimes kids need to be kids!
    Anyone care to share theirs? This is not meant to be unprofessional, just a bit of light-hearted fun!
    Acknowledgement - @takfam :D
     
  2. teacup71

    teacup71 Occasional commenter

    Sometimes I pretend to listen in assembly.
     
  3. Studyzonetv

    Studyzonetv Occasional commenter

    I don't always remember to photocopy different coloured sheets for Irlens.
     
    whitestag likes this.
  4. JessicaRabbit1

    JessicaRabbit1 Senior commenter

    Great thread. Here's mine:
    • I don't always work with a group in lessons. Sometimes I leave them to get on. No-one dies.
    • During training days I play buzzword bingo in my head.
    • When someone asks yet another question at 5pm during a staff meeting, just when I thought it was coming to an end, I silently imagine stabbing them in the eye with a pencil.
    • Sometimes I don't take photos of practical work as evidence.
    • We are supposed to mark our pupil premium children's books first and in more depth because supposedly we'll give them more attention. I don't do this. I mark books equally.
     
  5. Camokidmommy

    Camokidmommy Established commenter

    What are Irlens? Am I missing something?

    Confessions -
    • sometimes I make it up as I go along - they are usually my best lessons
    • sometimes I sit and watch the children - not feeling too guilty as some of them are Nursery/Reception
    • when I know INSET will be pointless I take a pad and make a list of what I need to do in my real life
    I'm sure I should confess more, but cant really think of them at the moment - I must be deluding myself!!!
     
    TEA2111 likes this.
  6. whitestag

    whitestag Senior commenter

    When a child said to me 'so and so hit me' I replied 'did you hit him back? Good!'
     
  7. Kartoshka

    Kartoshka Established commenter

    Irlen Syndrome is a visual processing disorder. It can make reading, copying, etc difficult.
     
    Camokidmommy likes this.
  8. zannar

    zannar New commenter

    I don't always do an introduction or plenary. If it's on going work and they need consolidation time what's the point?
     
    mysticgold and TEA2111 like this.
  9. teacup71

    teacup71 Occasional commenter

    I am planning a big party after the Sats. Don't tell Nicky Morgan!
     
    mysticgold and whitesnow21c like this.
  10. Camokidmommy

    Camokidmommy Established commenter

    Teacup, I hope you have a differentiated LO for each group at your party and success criteria against which you will assess. As this is a practical activity I do hope you will also take photo evidence and stick in books. You will also need to do a risk assessment in triplicate.

    Alternatively, bugg** that lot, you could just have fun!!
     
  11. Camokidmommy

    Camokidmommy Established commenter

    Thank you, Kartoshka. You learn something every day as I tell my class!
     
  12. whitestag

    whitestag Senior commenter

    • Sometimes I really can't be bothered to be outstanding
    • I only read books to the kids written by authors that I like
    • I find it hard to keep a straight face when telling off a loveable rogue
    • I find it hard to keep a straight face when someone farts in class
    • I never listen to a word of the vicar's assembly
    • I hate it when sports coaches teach my class, I find it mind-numbingly boring, but then positively gush about how much I enjoyed it
    • I hate teaching art
    • I hate taking my class swimming
    • I blamed the charging unit when I forgot to charge the tablets for a lesson
    • I give my class very unhealthy treats when they've worked hard
    • I have favourites in my class, and they're usually the naughty ones!
    Oh my word, once you get going!!!
     
    dnm, 65536gina, mysticgold and 3 others like this.
  13. nick909

    nick909 Star commenter

    • I don't so much as look at my IEPs between writing them and reviewing them, mainly because they are a waste of everyone's time.
    • When I go for my end-of-year performance management review, I have to look at my targets just beforehand to remind myself what they were.
    • I deliberately let my pigeonhole get so full of resource catalogues that it is impossible to put anything in there, so anything important gets given directly to me, and anything else gets binned.
    • Every year I intend to do guided reading properly and thoroughly, but by February at the latest, it is a purely ethereal concept.
    • I think that the notion of "teacher input = pupil output" is the biggest load of old cobblers imaginable.
    • If pupils see me outside school, I try to pretend I haven't seen or heard them if I can get away with it.
    • At one Christmas do, I feigned illness because I found out I was on the "Table Of Death" (the one with all the lunchtime supervisors on).
    • On Friday nights, I frequently get absolutely hammered.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2016
    dljames2013, Andyc_81, Ezzie and 5 others like this.
  14. whitestag

    whitestag Senior commenter

    • I never lift a finger to help with any PTFA event, even though I'm made to feel like I'm expected to
    • I never laugh at the HT's jokes, unlike some of the slimy pole-climbers on the staff
    • If I were in charge, I would sack every one of the dinner ladies
     
    Snoopy1975 likes this.
  15. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    When I was in charge (I'm a retired secondary head), I desperately wanted to sack them.

    That one about wanting to stab someone in the eye with a pencil if they asked a question at the end of a meeting? Me in every meeting I was ever in, especially governing body meetings.
     
    Snoopy1975 likes this.
  16. JessicaRabbit1

    JessicaRabbit1 Senior commenter


    I'm a Governor and without fail at the end of every meeting when it gets to the policy approval part (the really boring part) and everyone is desperate to get home, the vicar will decide to go through and query every single part of every single policy and I seriously have to fight the urge to shout, "Really?? Really??" at the top of my voice.
     
    Middlemarch likes this.
  17. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    Why is it ALWAYS the vicar?
     
  18. cassandramark2

    cassandramark2 Lead commenter

    [QUOTE="nick909, post: 11584571, member: 136499"
    • Every year I intend to do guided reading properly and thoroughly, but by February at the latest, it is a purely ethereal concept.
    • On Friday nights, I frequently get absolutely hammered.
    [/QUOTE]

    A kindred spirit.

    Happy half term
     
    debjames2013 likes this.
  19. fineliner

    fineliner Occasional commenter

    • I mark books with whatever colour pen is to hand.
    • I don't ever do anything for work after 9:00pm on a Sunday.
    • I put the parents' evening appointments of parents I know won't turn up first on my list so that they are over an hour late by the time I've had my last appointment and I can leave with a clear conscience instead of waiting around with the caretaker for them.
    • I use sarcasm in the classroom.
    • When they haven't put any effort into their work, I tell kids it's cra p.
    Actually, now I think of it, I'm more of a goody-goody than I thought.
     
  20. fineliner

    fineliner Occasional commenter

    Sorry didn't realise this was in Primary - these are confessions of a secondary school teacher!
     

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