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Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by QT1, Nov 19, 2019.

  1. QT1

    QT1 New commenter

    Thanks for your opinions everyone. It’s been really interesting. I think ‘getting over it and moving on’ is easier said than done. I am getting to a much better place at the moment and I think it’s probably a waste of time and energy to more than likely be disregarded. I am doing really well (not to be big headed) in my NQT year and managed an outstanding final grade for PGCE so I think it’s about coming to terms with the fact that I can’t do anything and in fact the best comeuppance for her is that I’m doing well, despite her best efforts. Even if she never gets to hear of it!
  2. install

    install Star commenter

    Let it go. Its destroying you.

    Turn this bitterness into kindness. Show you have learned. Tell others about your awful experience - but don't let this pain eat you up. After all,.you do not know what is ahead of you - and you are so busy dwelling on the past that you may be laying down a wall of bitterness around you.

    Understand that bad things can happen to good people; good things can happen to bad people. Life sucks sometimes. So - refuse to be a victim any longer. Yes - be angry, but be the person they were not. Do not turn into those that wronged you. Be open, supportive and understanding. Because one day you may meet someone who needs you not to be like those that wronged you.

    Don't see life as a fairy tale. See it a place which presents you with troubles. You being happy depends on how well you deal with those troubles. Don't lose who you are, what makes you tick and find the happy you again.
    starlightexpress, Norsemaid and QT1 like this.
  3. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    Write the letter but dont send it. That will allow you to get your feelings out without the possible repercussions.
    There are some absolute snakes in the profession, many of their colleagues would like to see them slain buy snakes have a habit of surviving and reappearing in a future school, teaching is a small world. Trust in Karma that these snakes will get their just desserts now it in the Afterlife.
    Lalad likes this.
  4. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Whatever "that behaviour" refers to exactly, you have to remember that this is somebody embedded in the school and playing out their role in the context of a job description,and therefore somebody who is valued by others in their jobs for precisely that behaviour. It's alarming,but true.

    The timescale in your post and your language suggests you are relatively young-just guessing. You say when you started and express some wrongness about how long you were made to wait and yet it was a matter of months, not years. And you state that what happens affects you even now. And yet "even now" is also only months. And say it has played on your mind for such a long time. It hasn't. Barely a year. Your story of training, qualifying and going on to get a job covers a timescale of only two years,and within that time you encountered one particularly nasty sort. It's early days.
    I am sorry to say that yes, there are plenty of nasty sorts in the workplace. Your triumph should rest in the fact that you are not one of them and that you function and deal on a humane basis in the workplace. Your triumph should not be based on their demise or on retribution, because that reduces you to vengeful and distracted. It is not yours to warn others because they could be others yet who will enjoy working with this person. It's alarming, but true.
    Ultimately, your triumph will be feeling better about it in time and, if I may, developing a natural resilience from focusing on what you bring to the kids.
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2019
    Norsemaid likes this.
  5. venny414

    venny414 New commenter

    I'll echo what others have said on here having gone through something very similar myself.

    Firstly, if something were to be done it should have been done at the time. This is the route I took and I only did so because I wanted to move placements. I did, and so it was the right thing to do for me. I'm not suggesting for a second it would have been the right thing for you to do - I don't know the specifics of your situation.

    Secondly, and this is more relevant to you, in that doing something about it now will achieve next to nothing. Certainly not for you and almost certainly not for the school. If certain people's conduct was lacking, they will be found out if they haven't already. You probably weren't the first student teacher there and you probably won't be the last.

    Be thankful you are where you are and find some comfort in it. Many friends of mine found themselves in similar situations to you and didn't make it out the other side. Teaching is a very rewarding but very challenging profession. Reflect on what you might have done differently and then devote your time and energies into engaging your students the best you can.

    Good luck with it all.
  6. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Absolutely. It's taken me five years and various drugs, counselling, therapies and so on to genuinely feel better.
    Someone told me that the best revenge is to go on and be happy and successful elsewhere.
    DexterDexter likes this.

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