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commute or move?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by anon1369, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. Got a job in school 40 miles away, due to traffic takes between 1.5 - 2 hours and so journey must start around 6.00am.
    <u>Option 1: Commute by car</u>
    Pro's - get to stay at home and see MrCC whenever I want
    not living alone
    little living costs (live with parents)
    Con's - estimating around &pound;300 a month petrol (if not more).
    wasting upto 4 hours a day travelling.
    serious issues in winter if we get that dreaded snow/ice back.
    <u>Option 2: Look for a place to rent </u>nearer school and come home of a weekend. Estimated cost???
    Pro's - save up to 4 hours of travelling time a day.
    save petrol costs
    get more sleep (I'm extremely grumpy when I don't get enough sleep)
    make new friends?
    Con's - cost of renting
    possibly living with strangers (who could annoy me) OR living alone (scared)
    only have weekends to see MrCC and family and friends whilst also getting work done
    This option means that MrCC will have to stay at home as he doesn't drive and his job is based in our home city.

    I don't know what to do, what would/do you do?
  2. I commute that far everyday and it takes me 1-1.5 hours. You need to weigh up what'll cost more: rent or petrol plus wear and tear on car.

    But I warn you, it gets tiresome when you do late nights as inevitably we all do.

    Why not commute for a term and see how it goes?
  3. Option 3
    Find somewhere for both of you to live which is halfway between your workplace and his?
    A second bedsit is cheaper than the fuel bills.

  4. ah sorry, I missed that he doesn't drive...
    Could you find somewhere from where he could commute via train or bus?

  5. gergil4

    gergil4 New commenter

    I'd try both options for a while - commute, then find a weekday only lodging somewhere. You never know, you might find a good/willing landlord/lady in your new place of work who would appreciate the extra income
    Or, any chance you could buy nearer and take in a lodger yourself to help pay?
  6. Just as another thought - ask any of us who commute (at the moment I still travel by public transport - an hour each way, car would take 10 mins).
    It is DRAINING.
    Which is why I am going to buy a car. My travelling costs will go up slightly, but I will be less knackered, have more spare time and the Winter will be more endurable.
    It is not worth me moving, as I am only just in the next town! But strangely, the connections are odd (normally public transport is brill in Germany - I have not needed a car for years!)
    So take into account how tiring the travelling will be. As after a while, it really does get tiring. Very.
  7. Richie Millions

    Richie Millions New commenter

    That length of journey is ok for a term at a push two after that it causes problems in job relationship etc
  8. 1) Is there a genuine reason your bloke doesn't drive? Because this is limiting your opportunities

    2) no apostrophe needed in pros and cons.
  9. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Option 2 or move somewhere closer.
  10. My bold.
    Trust us - it will knacker you.
  11. I'll try to reply to you all in one go, sorry if I miss anything.
    He doesn't drive because he has never been able to afford lessons (only just finished uni) and even if he could drive, he wouldn't be able to afford a car or insurance (insurance alone for a young male is at least &pound;4000 around here) I am lucky as I got my driving lessons paid for and my car is currently (temporarily) funded by a family member - except for petrol. However as of next year I will need to buy my own car.
    I looked at commuting by public transport but this would take a lot longer and cost a lot more due to lack of a direct route and would require at least 5 changes for the one way journey. MrCCs job involves working late at night and so he can't use public transport and instead will cycle to work. On the other hand his job is temporary and the length of contract is uncertain.
  12. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    You'll be lucky to see Mr CC at weekends wherever you live once the first year of teaching work really starts piling up.

    Before we married Mrs MSB and I managed living on separate sides of London for 3 years, seeing each other only at weekends and in holidays. The only alternative would have been for us both to live on Tower Bridge, which was a bit beyond our means. If the relationship's going to last it will survive separation. That's a hell of a lot of commuting (up to 20 hours a week) you're taking on given the workload you're likely to face. If you live apart you can spend your weekday evenings getting the school work out the way, thus leaving a bit of weekend time free. If you stay together in the same place you'll get less free time at weekends because of having to compensate for all the commuting, which will add to your daily fatigue. You'll also be tempted to take time off on weekday evenings if you're with Mr CC.

    As for living with strangers - I rented with strangers during those three years and it was a great laugh. You tend to respect each other more when you don't know each other.
  13. Oh and also I was thinking about trying out the commute for a while and seeing how it goes, but I'm a bit concerned that the autumn term will be the worst - particularly regarding the weather. My area was badly hit the past few years resulting in being unable to get the car moved at all and so the long long journey would be impossible if such weather were to return.
  14. I think you need to face the fact that, given your circumstances and his, you will need to live apart until your circumstances change.
    Either until he has a driving license, or until you both move.
    You CANNOT do that commute on a regular basis. You have 4 hours a day - before you have even started working if you include your work at work and your work at home.

    I do 2 hours a day and it is knackering. Believe me. I wouldn't be buying a car otherwise.

  15. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Have you read MSB's post, there was a posting overlap, you may have missed it.
  16. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Ooops, more cross posting.
  17. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    *nods in agreement*
    That's the main reason I'm going down to 4 days a week in new job. The trvelling is a killer.
  18. Also - following on from MSB.
    I have often had a partner who was away during the week.
    You survive.
    At one point, I was the one away during the week. We survived.
    None of my relationships have ended due to distance.
  19. KILOMETRE distance [​IMG]
  20. eeeek, when you put it like that!!! I am sure we would survive being apart, but having lived together practically since we met it will be a bit strange to say the least! I was thinking along the lines of moving closer will allow me to get all my work done during the week and then I can have my weekends 'free' of work (is that even possible haha!)
    You have mentioned some very good points which I will need to think about! Thanks :)

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