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Clive James can still nail it - required reading for the forum trolls

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Sid_Pubes, Dec 27, 2015.

  1. Sid_Pubes

    Sid_Pubes Senior commenter

    From Clive James's On Death and Dying column in The Guardian:

    "Indestructible microbial organisms, blog-trolls copulate with themselves constantly, producing offspring in the form of lethally insolent verbal tics. In a previous column I noted that the use of the word “methinks” was a sign to stop reading. It has since occurred to me that if you glance straight away at the end of any posting and find the two-word sentence “Just saying” you don’t have to read the confident statements that lead up to it. In any left-wing posting about politics, the use of the supposedly satirical term “US of A” is the sure sign of a dunce. In right-wing postings, any attempt to express the argument in the form of a poem should be taken as an instruction to stop reading instantly. If I had started looking for these signals earlier I might have saved a year of my life."
  2. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    He's a good read, and listen, is Clive James.
    ScotSEN and kibosh like this.
  3. artboyusa

    artboyusa Star commenter

    Lord, that's an ugly picture.
  4. Johnny_Bluenote

    Johnny_Bluenote Occasional commenter

    I must recommending my blog to Clive. Trolls and other undesirables are very effectively excluded.
  5. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    His "Unreliable Memoirs" is a book I've read many times.
    minnie me, ScotSEN and kibosh like this.
  6. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    One of my favourite authors. Not only interesting, but very funny.
    minnie me likes this.
  7. minnie me

    minnie me Star commenter

    'Unreliable Memoirs ' is my comfort book and never disappoints. *I have a copy signed by him. I take it in my hand luggage when I travel.

    *I was like a groupy and completely star struck when I was waiting in the queue
    kibosh likes this.
  8. Sid_Pubes

    Sid_Pubes Senior commenter

    Interesting - though no surprise - that Tom ***** can find no answer to Mr James's commination. I find the image of Mr ***** "copulating with himself constantly" a lethally accurate description of his sexual self-sufficiency. Or, as hoi polloi would have it, being a w*****.
  9. cuteinpuce

    cuteinpuce Star commenter

    It's odd that masturbation is still used as matter for insult when it's generally recognised to be a normal part of life.
    Tom_Pubes, GwydirStreet and kibosh like this.
  10. Tom_Pubes

    Tom_Pubes Senior commenter

  11. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

  12. Tom_Pubes

    Tom_Pubes Senior commenter

    Psst! It's OK Cutie, Sid is the youngest of the ***** brothers and hasn't had any experience of the other function of the 'thing'. Don't be too hard on my little bro, OK? He still believes in Santa and the tooth fairy. Just saw 'Aw' and let him play with his Duplo.
  13. cuteinpuce

    cuteinpuce Star commenter

    As do all right-thinking people. :cool:
    Tom_Pubes and Vince_Ulam like this.
  14. Tom_Pubes

    Tom_Pubes Senior commenter

    Well, to each his own.
  15. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

  16. Sid_Pubes

    Sid_Pubes Senior commenter

    Don't be disingenuous, CiP. Masturbation may be a part of normal life, but being a w***** doesn't necessarily involve masturbation. It does, however, involve a reluctance to live in the world as it is rather than the world as you would wish it to be, and so it is an exact epithet to apply to political simpletons like Joe/Tom *****.
  17. Tom_Pubes

    Tom_Pubes Senior commenter

    It's late, Siddy. Get back to beddy-byes or I'll tell mummy and daddy!
  18. Sid_Pubes

    Sid_Pubes Senior commenter

    Thanks for outing yourself, *****.
  19. Tom_Pubes

    Tom_Pubes Senior commenter

    Come again?
  20. cuteinpuce

    cuteinpuce Star commenter

    Only if you decide to use a perfectly healthy aspect of life as an insult. That seems rather unimaginative to me.
    Tom_Pubes likes this.

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