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Civil Partnership / wedding readings

Discussion in 'Personal' started by jammyhb, Aug 18, 2011.

  1. jammyhb

    jammyhb New commenter

    Hi all,
    I need to pick your literary brains. My partner and I are having our civil partnership in October and are currently struggling to find any suitable readings. We are not allowed to have any mention of anything religious at all in the readings or music - no God, heaven, angels etc (rules out Bon Jovi's 'Livin on a prayer' for example!).
    We've found some very Americanised speeches (as opposed to readings) and several sonnets/thee thou thoust's but want a variety of styles. We don't mind adapting existing poems etc but struggling to find anything special enough to adapt! Ideally we want something loveydovey, something 'fun' and something about togetherness.

    Does anyone have any suggestions?

    JHB x
     
  2. When my son got married they had a reading from Captain Corellis mandolin, something about love is not breathless, google it and see -the thrust is that it's more about the long term being together, becoming one than the first flush of love. It was really beautiful everyone cried (well I did anyway!)

    Good luck with your plans - keep us informed
     
  3. My housemate wrote a poem for his mother's wedding a couple of years ago - i'll see if he still has it.
     
  4. My sister had a poem called 'Maybe' - I actually read it for them - really lovely - by anonymous.


    Maybe...


    Maybe we are supposed to meet the wrong people before we meet the right one so when they finally arrive we are truly grateful for the gift we have been given.


    Maybe its true that we don't know what we have lost until we lose it but it is also true that we don't know what we're missing until it arrives.


    Maybe the happiest of people don't have the best of everything, but make the best of everything that comes their way.


    Maybe the best kind of love is the kind where you sit on the sofa together, not saying a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.


    Maybe once in a lifetime you find someone who not only touches your heart but also your soul, someone who loves you for who you are and not what you could be.


    Maybe the art of true love is not about finding the perfect person, but about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
     
  5. jammyhb

    jammyhb New commenter

    Found it Seagirl! Thanks - it hadn't cropped up in my many google searches for readings. I shall add it to my list and show the Missus when she gets in!

    Love is a temporary madness,
    it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
    And when it subsides you have to make a decision. <font style="font-size:11pt;" size="2" face="Arial">
    </font>You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
    that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
    Because this is what love is.<font style="font-size:11pt;" size="2" face="Arial" color="#5f4d3d">
    </font>Love is not breathlessness,
    it is not excitement,
    it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
    That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.
    Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
    and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
    Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
    and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
    they find that they are one tree and not two.

     
  6. jammyhb

    jammyhb New commenter

    I just cried reading 'Maybe', which is slightly embarrassing as I have the maintenance man round fixing the sink! That is definitely on my list of likelies [​IMG]
     
  7. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    We had 'Let not the marriage of true/two (embarrassed I can't remember!!) admit impdiment. Love is not love when it alteration finds. and so on. Sonnet 116 by W Shakespeare, I believe.
    Why can't you have any reliegious stuff? I love that bit in Corinthians where it explains what love is (gentle, kind, keeps no record of wrongs etc)! Had it at my wedding (but then, I got wed in a church, so it was kind of a given!!).
    Good luck choosing! Once you get started, it's terrible having to make a decision!
    Oh yes, I read how do I love thee, let me count the ways by I think it's Christina Rosetti at a friend's wedding. That's nice, if you've got a good reader.
    Also, Had we world enough and time, this coyness, mistress, would be no crime, by Andrew Marvel (although that's a bit raunchy!!), or there's another one by, I think, Jonathan Swift, but the only line I can remember is O my America, my new found land, adn now I'm not even sure it's Jonathan Swift..... Now I shall ahve to go and trawl my poetry books!!
     
  8. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    Yes, I too am confused as to why there can't be any reference to religious imagery. The church does not acknowledge same-sex marriages (yes, I said marriage, because that's what it is) but why can't same-sex partners acknowledge God and religion if they so wish? Do some looney somewhere think that just because you are gay you must have denounced all religion?
    I gave a reading at my best mates Civil Partnership. She had written something of her own and I read it. I was soooooo nervous!
    I do love Shakespeare's Sonnet 116:

    Let me not to the marriage of true minds
    Admit impediments. Love is not love
    Which alters when it alteration finds,
    Or bends with the remover to remove:
    O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
    That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
    It is the star to every wandering bark,
    Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
    Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
    Within his bending sickle's compass come:
    Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
    But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
    If this be error and upon me proved,
    I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

    So beautiful.

     
  9. Lost the link when I changed PC but I found a few different ones just by googling "non-religious wedding readings" as I recall - had the same restriction by virtue of a registry office jobbie at ours.
     
  10. It's the legal requirement imposed by registry offices for both marriages and civil partnerships. Kind of the reverse of church - you wouldn't expect the priest to omit the God bits in church - civil service is the alternative to church where God is not mentioned.

    Which is fine if you are on a first time marriage and that is your choice, OKish if it's a second marriage and you go for a blessing in church after but kind of removes your choiceif you are having a civil partnership.

    Hope you have a fab day and find some readings that touch you both x
     
  11. This made me blub!


    The One (Author unknown)

    When the one whose hand you?re holding
    Is the one who holds your heart,
    When the one whose eyes you gaze into
    Gives your hopes and dreams their start,
    When the one you think of first and last
    Is the one who holds you tight,
    And the things you plan together
    Make the whole world seem just right,
    When the one whom you believe in
    Puts their faith and trust in you,
    You?ve found the one and only love
    You?ll share your whole life through.
     
  12. Also, a funny one by Pam Ayres called "Yes, I'll Marry You" I haven't copied it out here because my computer doesn't seem to recognise my return key!
     
  13. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Some great stuff here. Made me realise even more why I couldn't stay with my now ex. Hope your ceremony and life together works out well.
     
  14. jammyhb

    jammyhb New commenter

    We're having a blessing later on in the day - we have some vicar friends who'll be there as guests but then they are going to do a blessing for us before we eat. Fits in quite nicely actually and we get to have that element on the same day, without having to invite them all again to a church on another day.
     
  15. Si N. Tiffick

    Si N. Tiffick Occasional commenter

    Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
    A good marriage must be created.
    In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...
    It is never being too old to hold hands.
    It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
    It is never going to sleep angry.
    It is at no time taking the other for granted;
    the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
    it should continue through all the years.
    It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
    It is standing together facing the world.
    It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
    It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
    of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
    It is speaking words of appreciation
    and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
    It is not looking for perfection in each other.
    It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
    understanding and a sense of humour.
    It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
    It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
    It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
    It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
    It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
    dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
    It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
    It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.
    - by Wilferd Arlan Peterson
    <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" id="table21"><tr><td style="width:100%;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td style="width:100%;">He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven </td></tr></table>
    </td><td rowspan="2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" id="table24">
    <tr>
    <td>
    <table cellspacing="0" style="border-style:solid;border-width:1;" id="table25">
    <tr>
    <td align="center">
    <font size="4" color="#800000">#107</font></td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
    <td align="center">
    in Top500</td>
    </tr>
    </table>
    </td>
    </tr>
    <tr>
    <td>
    </td>
    </tr>
    </table>
    --><table cellpadding="2" style="border-collapse:collapse;"><tr><td align="center">[​IMG] </td></tr></table><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width:122px;align:center;"><tr><td style="height:16px;" align="right"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="align:center;"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td></tr><tr><td></td></tr></table><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" bgcolor="#f1f2f2"><tr><td align="center">
    # 107
    on top 500 Poems

    </td></tr><tr><td>User Rating:
    </td></tr><tr><td>/10
    (130 votes)</font>
    </td></tr><tr><td class="z1">
    - vote - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

    </td></tr></table><table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" bgcolor="#f1f2f2"><tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr><tr><td>[​IMG]</td><td>Add this poem to MyPoemList</td></tr><tr><td colspan="2"> </td></tr></table></td>--></tr><tr><td><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" id="table23"><tr><td> </td><td style="width:100%;">HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
    Enwrought with golden and silver light,
    The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
    Of night and light and the half-light,
    I would spread the cloths under your feet:
    But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
    I have spread my dreams under your feet;
    Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.


    <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td>Create Date</td><td>: </td><td>Tuesday, May 15, 2001</td></tr><tr></tr></table>
    William Butler Yeats </td></tr></table></td></tr></table>
     
  16. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Some lovely readings on this thread, but is it just me or does it really matter if it is for a marriage (ie man and woman) or civil partenership? I just can't see the point in mentioning it......that's all.
    All the best anyway.
     
  17. jammyhb

    jammyhb New commenter

    The point is that I don't want to read something at my wedding to another woman about men! For example, there's an Apache reading that we like that includes "...Now you are two persons, but there are three lives before you: his life, her life and your life together...". That's not relevant to my life - we have no 'his'! There is a version of the same reading which changes it to "you are two bodies but now have one life before you and one home.." etc. What I meant was, if I can change the pronouns or rephrase a bit so that it is appropriate to us I don't mind doing that if the reading is lovely enough.


     
  18. I had this poem read at my wedding. It almost perfectly sums up my view of marriage and makes me feel lucky to have met my husband whenever I read it because it is so true.
    Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

    A good marriage must be created.

    In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...

    It is never being too old to hold hands.

    It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

    It is never going to sleep angry.

    It is at no time taking the other for granted;

    the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,

    it should continue through all the years.

    It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

    It is standing together facing the world.

    It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

    It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude

    of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

    It is speaking words of appreciation

    and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

    It is not looking for perfection in each other.

    It is cultivating flexibility, patience,

    understanding and a sense of humour.

    It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

    It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

    It is finding room for the things of the spirit.

    It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

    It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,

    dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

    It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

    It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.



    - by Wilferd Arlan Peterson (long version)

     
  19. Si N. Tiffick

    Si N. Tiffick Occasional commenter

    haha gpporgie- beat you to it!
     
  20. There are some lovely passages in Jeanette Winterson's The Passion about love. You could try Written on the Body too.
     

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