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Church weddings

Discussion in 'Personal' started by half term, May 23, 2011.

  1. LOL - yes, I am a high quality lurker!
    I wonder how many people who actually get married in church are believers?
  2. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Does it matter what other people do?
  3. Exactly.
    Hatch, match, dispatch. That's what most people use churches for and I'd bet the majority of those arranging services aren't church-goers or believers.
    Loads of people get their children baptised yet don't believe in God themselves. I feel it's so wrong. It always makes me laugh at Christenings when the uncomfortable Godparents have to stand and swear in front of God that they renounce the Devil and all his works. [​IMG]
    I am sure many brides use the church for the pretty setting and the pics. It doesn't seem to trouble them that to take holy vows is in effect an abuse of all the church stands for. I couldn't be as hypocritical but many can.
    Do what feels best for you.
  4. Not enormously - but the OP said she felt awkward about it. If she feels awkward enough to post here asking for points of view, surely she should get married elsewhere? My answer was in line with the context of the thread question.
    OP - have the ceremony somewhere you'll feel happy. If you think you won't feel weird on the day having your vows in a church, go for it. What does it matter really.


  5. Grandsire

    Grandsire Star commenter

    Get married in church - there's a local economy depending on you: the organist (usually a nice old chap) gets a couple of hundred pounds for bashing out a few old favourites, and the local band of ringers (mostly kids and pensioners who don't usually get much in the way of spending money) receive anything up to £20 each for half an hour's work ringing the bells. All of this, of course, eventually ends up being spend in the local pub... So, one way or another, a church wedding keeps the cash in circulation. Even the choir members enjoy a chance to dress up and run through their repertoire.
    Then there's the fact that the flowers (as long as you're not stingy enough to take them with you) make the church look nice for visitors over the next few days and encourage a few more coppers in the collecting box on the wall.
    My very musical friend (atheist) got married in a local church because it was the best venue for all the music she and her husband had planned - choirs, orchestra, soloists etc. The vicar rumbled this and insisted she and her husband attend three or four meetings prior to the wedding with him to discuss (at great length) the church's role in their marriage. I think he even set them questions on the Biblical aspects of marriage to research about between meetings. It didn't deter them - and the marriage service was wonderful - more like a concert than a wedding, perhaps!
    The church needs to adapt to the requirements of society. There are too many redundant churches and too many grim registry offices.
  6. Couple of hundred pounds for the organist!? He'll be lucky!

    You may want to check what pre-marital courses the kindly local vicar will put you through. Do you really want to spend 4 evenings being counselled by the reverend and his wife? We know ours well so we skipped the 'let's talk about sex' page, but they were long evenings....

    Also, do people have many photos taken in church? I thought you did photos at the reception venue usually? My friend's wedding in her local guildhall was much more spectacular than my local church wedding anyway...

    Forget the church and find a beautiful location that you truly like, and hire whatever musicians you want. More authentic, more interesting for guests, and more expressive of who you actually are. Weddings are so bland usually - this is a great chance to put your personality on the day.

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