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Choking?

Discussion in 'Jobseekers' started by Lilybett, Jul 12, 2011.

  1. I originally posted this in the Unemployed forum, but then got to wondering if maybe one of the 'I Got the Job!!'-folk would recognise this and be able to say how they got over it...
    So, maybe the sporting jargon is irrelevant but it was all I could think of to describe it. I am one of the many concerned citizens who thinks Andy Murray needs to employ a sports psychologist to counter his habit of choking as the pressure mounts on him. Actually, I sympathise entirely because sometimes I think I get what his problem is. Except that I'm attempting to obtain an NQT position to teach KS2, not make history, etc.
    I am suprised and delighted to learn that after a couple of months of interview drought (and fairly grim supply work), I've been shortlisted for a Sep job. Seriously, seriously, last chance saloon. I want the job - I've always wanted the job - but I think part of my problem is an inability to cope with the pressure of interview and the weight of my own expectations ('GET THIS JOB AND YOUR LIFE WILL BE SORTED'). Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that I don't sometimes say stupid things or teach less-than-amazing lessons, etc etc. I am not seeking to shift blame, just to maybe understand what's going on and HOPEFULLY get some coping strategies ahead of the observed lesson and (hopefully) interview.
    I know that to get shortlisted, you sell yourself and focus on your strengths. I had awesome ITT and am well-qualified and dedicated and feedback on my teaching has almost always been very positive. But then I think... 'EXCELLENT? Am I seriously EXCELLENT at this? All the time?'. I know that doubts are good - I am not complacent and doubts keep me reflective and eager to keep improving. But I can't help but feel that there is NO WAY I'll be the best candidate in this shortlist and to try to convince the panel otherwise would just be an embarrassing contrivance (embarrassing for both parties), and so when I can 'feel myself' slipping in an interview - saying something stupid, (heaven help me) attempting humour, urm-ing and ahh-ing for too long etc, I think there is a part of me that thinks: 'Oh, well. There it goes.' and doesn't attempt to claw it back - just lets it continue slipping. What's really stupid is that when I'm not in that pressured situation, I'm pretty sure I could interview well enough to get it - if I could just lay off focusing on feeling self-conscious and like a bit of a fraud. Then I cry after I get the rejection phonecall but there has never been an occasion when the rejection call has been a complete suprise.
    I hope this makes sense, I know it's a bit waffly. Just wondering if anybody else knows what I mean and if anyone got past it? xx
     
  2. I originally posted this in the Unemployed forum, but then got to wondering if maybe one of the 'I Got the Job!!'-folk would recognise this and be able to say how they got over it...
    So, maybe the sporting jargon is irrelevant but it was all I could think of to describe it. I am one of the many concerned citizens who thinks Andy Murray needs to employ a sports psychologist to counter his habit of choking as the pressure mounts on him. Actually, I sympathise entirely because sometimes I think I get what his problem is. Except that I'm attempting to obtain an NQT position to teach KS2, not make history, etc.
    I am suprised and delighted to learn that after a couple of months of interview drought (and fairly grim supply work), I've been shortlisted for a Sep job. Seriously, seriously, last chance saloon. I want the job - I've always wanted the job - but I think part of my problem is an inability to cope with the pressure of interview and the weight of my own expectations ('GET THIS JOB AND YOUR LIFE WILL BE SORTED'). Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that I don't sometimes say stupid things or teach less-than-amazing lessons, etc etc. I am not seeking to shift blame, just to maybe understand what's going on and HOPEFULLY get some coping strategies ahead of the observed lesson and (hopefully) interview.
    I know that to get shortlisted, you sell yourself and focus on your strengths. I had awesome ITT and am well-qualified and dedicated and feedback on my teaching has almost always been very positive. But then I think... 'EXCELLENT? Am I seriously EXCELLENT at this? All the time?'. I know that doubts are good - I am not complacent and doubts keep me reflective and eager to keep improving. But I can't help but feel that there is NO WAY I'll be the best candidate in this shortlist and to try to convince the panel otherwise would just be an embarrassing contrivance (embarrassing for both parties), and so when I can 'feel myself' slipping in an interview - saying something stupid, (heaven help me) attempting humour, urm-ing and ahh-ing for too long etc, I think there is a part of me that thinks: 'Oh, well. There it goes.' and doesn't attempt to claw it back - just lets it continue slipping. What's really stupid is that when I'm not in that pressured situation, I'm pretty sure I could interview well enough to get it - if I could just lay off focusing on feeling self-conscious and like a bit of a fraud. Then I cry after I get the rejection phonecall but there has never been an occasion when the rejection call has been a complete suprise.
    I hope this makes sense, I know it's a bit waffly. Just wondering if anybody else knows what I mean and if anyone got past it? xx
     
  3. lilybett I so understand what you describe, I think it's very similar with me. It's not waffle, you described it so well. I think those feelings prevented me from getting the job at my last interview. It happened in the teaching session, where I failed to adjust expectations to the children's lower than expected knowledge, something I of course would always do in a 'normal' lesson. I have wondered since then how I could let that happen, and you've just explained it to me. After that lesson I knew I wasn't going to get the job, in fact I nearly left before the formal interview, but decided to stay for the practice. And I think I had my best interview ever, and the school council session afterwards was great too. Feedback confirmed all of this. I have been so upset about this interview, to the point where I fear I'm sliding into depression, as I can only blame myself for not getting a job for September and maybe never etc. Anyway, I know you wanted somebody to tell you how to deal with this. I'm sorry that I am not the person who can do this! I guess it boils down to 'believe in yourself', and maybe it would help to think about and write down all your strengths so that it's clear in your mind why you are a good teacher, and not a fraud. Good luck with this interview, really hope you get it!
     
  4. Lilybet - it sounds like coaching is what you need - believe me it can really help - please PM me if you want to discuss this further
     

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