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Children's inlaws

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ShowerGel, Feb 14, 2012.

  1. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    I've only met my son's new inlaws at his wedding and it seems wierd thinking I may not ever see them again - they live about two hours away.
    Is it usual to get in touch and to meet up? I'm interested in hearing others experiences as I haven't a clue.
     
  2. emilystrange

    emilystrange Star commenter

    my parents have never even met my inlaws, and we've been together 25 years. no one seems at all worried about it. in fact, the two of us think it's prob for the best... [​IMG]
     
  3. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    I think it varies massively. My own brother-in-law, who lives in the states, has a pair of grown-up twins (girl and boy). He and his wife get on famously with their daughter's in-laws and spend loads of time with them; they have only seen their son's in-laws at the wedding dos (Americans tend to have more than just the reception) and a christening.
    My parents met my in-laws exactly twice in the thirteen years Mr M and I were together - both of these being long after we were married, since we only had a couple of mates as witnesses present.
    I think it's 'do what you feel like doing' - if you see them as the kind of folk you'd want to be friends with, pursue it by inviting them to share a meal, or whatever; if not, don't do anything other than send cards at Xmas, etc.
     
  4. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    My parents never met my husband's parents and I think that's a shame.
    I don't think we are likely to see much of my daughter's partner's parents either.
    When you consider how close we are to our partners and parents, it's odd they don't seem to connect with each other, really.
    I hadn't given it much thought until you posted this [​IMG]
     
  5. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    My daughter is getting married in 2 months and so far I have met his parents once when he brought them round for coffee, I will see them at the prewedding dinner and obviously the wedding. They are lovely people but live about 3 -4 hours away from us so I expect I will only ever cross paths with them at big events like babies being born etc.
     
  6. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    My parents and in-laws kept in Christmas card contact.
     
  7. I didn't realise how uncommon it is for a couples parents to be in contact with each other. My partner and I try to get our parents together as often as is possible. My folks live up in Scotland but when ever they come down for a visit we all go out for dinner or pop round the OH's parent's house for a cup of tea and a catch up.
    Granted my OH and I are not at the weddings and babies stage yet but I would find it odd if our parents had never met each other.
    Doesn't it make the big events harder to organise?
     
  8. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    The wedding was last November. Can you suggest any ways I could get in touch? Do I write suggesting a stroll on the beach (they live on the coast!)? I don't know what to do but it seems ridiculous that we're not in touch in some way.
     
  9. impis

    impis New commenter

    Family from both sides of our family are of course invited to all family do's -weddings, christenings, engagent parties, birthday parties, etc.
    My parents were happy to be godparents to my husband's neice.

    My son has just married - his wife is from Essex. Her family invited us down to stay for the weekend when it became apparent that their relationship was serious. They're lovely people, and a good laugh. Despite living a few hours away, they were married and brought up in the same era as us, and we share many common likes and dislikes. Music, food, the 70s, all that. It's great to have added to our friendship circle and to have extended our family group.
    There have been one or two problems - non of which were anyone's 'fault'. Our 30 r old Asperger's daughter has found it very difficult to accept her new sister in law's family [there's lots of other sisters on that side]. It has taken time and patience, but I think she's gradually becoming more relaxed about things and no longer sees them as 'invaders'. LOL!
     
  10. JTL

    JTL Occasional commenter

    My parents met my mother in law just before our wedding day and only four times more in the following eight years when both my parents died. Neither side travelled much and there was 200 miles between them so I doubt they would have met up other than for christenings, though they were always happy to hear news of each other.
    I like to think that if any of my three do settle down, that we would keep in contact with the other side, but only if it felt right. As long as both sides have the best interests of the couple in mind, I really don't think it matters.
     
  11. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    I think it's quite common for there to be little contact.
    My parents don't have much in common with my in laws so they don't see them much. They do exchange Christmas cards.
     

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