I'm supporting a DS child in Y4 (held back a year), with a team of TAs, who transferred in as parents were unhappy with previous school. She had basically been allowed to do what she wanted to avoid upsetting anyone. We are now trying to lay down some basics. She is exceedingly stubborn, and seems immune to either a "carrot or stick" approach. She tears up stickers, will rub off smiley faces. Counting down 3- 2 - 1 works sometimes, as does a stopwatch with audible beeper, but not always! The real challenge is getting her out of the toilet. She tends to "leak" so we often have to take her on a daily basis to change underwear a) because she smells and b) because she gets sore. Our toilets have locks on that can't be opened from the outside. We have tried variously threatening, ignoring, cajoling - all to no avail. Today she was in for 30 mins. her class teacher and the head teacher are male so wash their hands of her. She has now used up all her "missed"playtimes, so that doesn't work and she quite likes staying in anyway. She seems to universally hate all subjects, the only motivator is food, which we can't really use as a consistent reward as she is fairly overweight. One member of teaching staff is keen on a "naughty chair" but she's been sat on it so long and so often even that is losing it's effect. Any ideas - or do we just accept and ignore?