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Charlize Theron

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Rott Weiler, Apr 20, 2019.

  1. Rott Weiler

    Rott Weiler Star commenter Forum guide

    Now I know starting a thread about transgender children may be asking for trouble (I hope it won't get pulled because of anything I post) but the story in today's media about Charlize Theron raising her eldest child, a boy biologically, as a girl left me wondering whether a parent should have the right to do that for a child so young.


    It seems that she stopped raising her child as a boy (we are to assume from the announcement he is a boy biologically I think) and started raising her child as a girl at the age of 3 based solely on the child saying one day "I am not a boy". Allowing people mature enough to make decisons about their gender is one thing, but her child was only 3 years old for goodness sake! Maybe Charlize Theron really thinks a 3 year old has the maturity to make such a decision?

    When one of my daughters was 3 she wanted to be a dog. Would that justify me raising her as one? (No!)
  2. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    Seems an odd way to behave to me.
    When I was three I thought I was a cat. But my parents had the sense not to raise me as one...
    blueskydreaming and needabreak like this.
  3. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    Beautiful, rich but single because bat-****.
    xmal and artboyusa like this.
  4. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    We're assuming it was a one-off comment but we don't actually know what happened.
  5. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    We can safely assume that this child, three years old, was not making a considered statement about how they wish to live the rest of their life which could be objectively differentiated from any other pretend play.
  6. Rott Weiler

    Rott Weiler Star commenter Forum guide

    Fair point, but we can always only ever comment about what someone has said. Not knowing the full story is true of most threads here. But it is a direct public statement from CT herself, not someone else's speculation. She chose to say what she said, saying only that what her child said at 3 is why she is bringing her child up as a girl.
  7. moonpenny

    moonpenny Occasional commenter

    Her daughter is 7 - she said at the age of 3 that she felt female but we don’t really know what has happened during this time until now.

    My son was aged about 4/5 when he would only wear boys clothes and boxer shorts - so I used to get him stuff from the boys section of H and M and he looked very tomboy in appearance but there was no way he would have ever have worn anything like a dress or skirt.

    At the same time, he started to really get into gaming which he still is and his room looked like a boy’s room as he collected gaming memorabilia and gaming consoles for the whole of his childhood - every birthday and Christmas he asked for something to add to his collection and still does this at the age of 19. His brother says that he always felt he had a brother, not a sister.

    He didn’t come out to me until he was 13/14 but looking back I should have known but it was a massive shock to me,

    He spent quite a few years knowing but not saying anything then he hit puberty and his mental health went badly downhill culminating in him trying to take his own life a few days after his 17th birthday and being about 1 or 2 hours from succeeding before we found him alone, with his wrists slashed and overdosed after we were alerted by the safeguarding lead for the youth group he attended - he had gone round saying goodbye to his friends and giving them small gifts - apparently this is really common when someone has planned their suicide in advance and wants it to succeed.

    I wish he has told me about being trans before he did - once we sought help it has been a 5 years of attending medical and psychologist appointments which he will need to continue indefinitely. I also regret not acting more quickly when I found out, instead it was a year or so before we went to the GP.

    The process of getting to a Gender Identity Clinic can take 2 years to get a first initial appointment and this sometimes takes more time. Then each appointment is a few months apart and no intervention is put in place until several appointments after the first appointment - it is a very, very slow process and the next step is only taken after in-depth pychologoical assessment which is right in my opinion - it isn’t something which should be rushed.

    My son’s psychologist told us that many young people don’t actually go on to get any medical intervention after attending the GID clinic for assessment.

    The thing is a young child needs no medical intervention, they have several years of maybe living as the sex they feel they are but apart from living as that gender, there are no hormone blockers needed - that isn’t needed until puberty - so what is the harm?

    There is a high suicide risk amongst young transgender people, they need all the support they can get and having support from your family and the people around you is cruicial.

    This means the people who teach them too - my son has had some fantastic support from the lecturers at his college who are aware that he is very vulnerable and know about his circumstances as he dropped out of the course 2 years ago after his suicide attempt and it took him two years to get to a place where he could try and restart the course.

    He has told me that he was bullied at school and his brother has also told me that kids at school used to taunt him saying stuff like “are you a boy or a girl.?”

    He moved schools in Year 10 to start living as a boy which is a requirement of moving forward with any further intervention and found a group of fellow LGBT young people who he is still friends with and that has really helped - in fact, one is now one of his housemates.

    My son is now in a much happier place and in a relationship with a lovely person who is also trans and he is working hard at college but it isn’t easy when there are so many people out to judge or say what they are doing is wrong.

    Why do other people feel it is their place to judge how others want to live their lives? Gender dysphoria is very real and we need to support young people who are are trans. My son being transgender is not impacting on anyone, why is it such a problem for some people to accept? My son just wants to get on with his life.

    So no, threads like this are not helpful.

    Indignation is not helpful.

    Misunderstanding is not helpful.

    Judging other people based on limited knowledge of their lives is not helpful.
  8. Rott Weiler

    Rott Weiler Star commenter Forum guide

    I understand what you say but with respect you are not a public figure and you have not issued public statements about how you are bringing up your child. It would be wrong to comment on your child and I am not going to. This thread isn't about you.

    Charlize Theron is a high profile public figure and has chosen to make her child upbringing public. If she didn't want to have her comments discussed online she wouldn't have made them. She's not naïve or inexperienced with social media. So it's reasonable to assume she's happy for her public statement to be discussed.
  9. colpee

    colpee Star commenter

    How do you bring someone up ‘as a girl’- I mean apart from choosing female clothes for them?
  10. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    It looks like Copernicus was as wrong as the Roman Catholic Church.

    You say this ironically, yes?
  11. Jude Fawley

    Jude Fawley Star commenter

    Theron is on the wane. She's gone from 'Monster' to 'Long Shot'.
  12. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    What a ridiculous statement!
    LunaBlue123 and bombaysapphire like this.
  13. vannie

    vannie Star commenter

    Presumably by doing ‘girly’ things and choosing a new name.
  14. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    Thank you, this is one of the kindest things I have seen you say to anyone here.
  15. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Just thought I ought to keep you on the straight and narrow as you are sailing so close to the edge again. (That's two maritime cliches for the price of one! There is no sarcasm icon)
  16. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    I appreciate your concern. I know that neither of us would like to get into a dispute.
  17. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    Theron only made the statement because she's in the public eye and it was noticed that her elder child was in dresses.
    Having said that, it does concern me if it was only a 3year old saying they were not a boy that triggered the transition in parenting.
    My husband was away a lot for work and my then 3 year old son presumed that he'd be a woman and a mother like me when he grew uo.
    He had been told that he grew in my tummy. He then thought that both his dad and I had grown in my mother's tummy.
    He declared that he was going to marry me when he grew up.

    He decided that he must have two anuses, one for big poos and one for little ones, and couldn't find the big hole.
    In all cases I gently put him right.
  18. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    Yes but, ceteris paribus, there are no reasons why a child should be raised as their opposite sex.
    mothorchid likes this.
  19. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Well, you could equally say that you have chosen to read a non contextualised celebrity quote in a commercially supported newspaper on a non-news day.
  20. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    What other context might there be besides what Miss Theron herself has described in her own words?

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