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Challenged with 'Hearsay' overheard in the staff canteen

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by coldmetal, Oct 13, 2017.

  1. coldmetal

    coldmetal Occasional commenter

    I had a progress review with my CTM/HOD and she challenged me with something that somebody overheard me say in the canteen! When I realised that was what was actually happening I was a little nonplussed. Clearly whoever the d' head was, only half heard half a conversation and got it all out of context. When I challenged the CTM asking are you really putting to me something somebody half overheard me say and got it out of context she fluffed her feathers all up and blustered with her authority and stated that all matters are her business. She quoted extracts from my contract so she clearly had done some homework on challenging me, but however as the comment overheard had mistakes in it and got it all wrong anyway it was all stupid nonsense. I guess a lesson learned is "Keep your own council" but I think I'll report this to My Union and HR although reporting it to HR might come back and bite me.
     
  2. Eflmeister

    Eflmeister Occasional commenter

    I’m confused now - I thought Roger was your boss? So you now not only have a problem with your boss but also the next boss up in the chain?! Gosh your work life must be incredibly stressful. Funny how you’ve always seemed to have a problem with every boss you’ve ever had in teaching (going by your other threads). I sincerely hope you, one day, manage to find somewhere where you can have a positive relationship with management.
     
    vannie, Laphroig, blazer and 3 others like this.
  3. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    Welcome to another edition of paranoids R us.
     
  4. sabrinakat

    sabrinakat Star commenter

    Welcome back! (Gets the popcorn ready)...
     
  5. coldmetal

    coldmetal Occasional commenter

    OK... would you feel threatened if challenged with a overheard conversation? Particularly when the thread of it is all twisted and part of it is missing which then is made to look like one thing when it really meant something entirely different? I have worked in a high security environment before where hearsay and conversations do get reported and you may have to have a discussion with the security officer. However this is not under those conditions.
     
  6. coldmetal

    coldmetal Occasional commenter

    I thought is was biscuits?
     
    Jesmond12 and les25paul like this.
  7. mothorchid

    mothorchid Occasional commenter

    At some stage Mikecom will realise that keeping his own counsel is usually the more sensible option.

    But not yet, it seems.

    And these pages will be poorer when he does.
     
  8. coldmetal

    coldmetal Occasional commenter

    Part of the problem is is that if you go to a environment where there is a mr perfect or maybe
    I do when looking through these threads find many others in similar situations and having useful and intelligent advice from others that might have gone through similar who also may know what should and shouldn't be allowed is invaluable. I have found a wealth of information and advice which assist me to be better... However there are a variety of self righteous egos bounding around here which often serve to confuse and confound - there are even groups of bullies that persecute and intimidate by trolling individuals based on previous posts...
     
    sbkrobson likes this.
  9. coldmetal

    coldmetal Occasional commenter

    Part of the problem is is that if you go to a environment where there is a Mr perfect or maybe a cabal of them who by their unnatural dedication to workload and or knowledge and skill at administrative procedure, relieves the workload from the manager in such a way as that they are allowed to grasp significant control of the department. You get it all over the place. If you as a HOD are totally pressured and with a huge workload why wouldn't you allow someone extra reins of power if they shift a huge amount of workload from you? if they don't like someone or are doing a few things that are less than morally perfect why beat them with a stick and spoil your own regime? As long as it can't come back to you? They make your life easier... this has happened from time immemorial in military and anywhere where there are levels of hierachy - in education it is rife.
     
  10. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    The situation you describe above I have had to deal with several times - it never came to anything.
     
  11. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    I'm not sure of the relevance of storing stuff up about one poster and throwing it back at them when they post ("yet") another issue. Sure, it might count if there's factual inconsistency, or it might count if you want somebody to query their own thoughts. But not as ammunition. Not nice.
    OP your response to your manager, thus-ooops, posted too soon, I'll add another post...
     
    alexanderosman and mikecom like this.
  12. coldmetal

    coldmetal Occasional commenter

    When you say had to deal with?
     
  13. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Your repsonse to your manager was quite good, it seems you didn't get ruffled, whereas others would go away and stew on the unfairness. Well, I would.
    If this person fluffed their feathers up at your query, that's a good thing. They felt embarrassed. So they should-gathering hearsay as ammunition, again....unfair, not nice.
     
  14. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Personally I don't have room to keep my own council. Goodness only knows how many seats I'd need and a huge table too. I'd probably have to provide refreshments. It doesn't bear thinking about. All that shouting. And councils do tend to discuss some pretty boring stuff.

    But I do tend to keep my own counsel. Except on TES when people are asking for advice.
     
  15. coldmetal

    coldmetal Occasional commenter

    When I discussed this with my partner who is management level I made a serious error of judgement by challenging her on this. Apparently I should have recognised it for what it was and deflected it by making light of the confusion or as a peccadillo. By challenging her I have now maybe turned her against me. Now apparently i have to do something about this. If I take it up with HR she will see the threat raised... if I don't other stuff may continue. during the meanwhilst Roger is talking to them highlighting all my mistakes making me look bad and grooming and developing my HOD against me.
     
  16. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    If you are overheard in the canteen saying something which appears unacceptable, then of course someone will challenge you about it.

    If a leader is to challenge a member of staff about unprofessional behaviour, then it is extremely sensible of them to do their homework first, hence quoting your contract and explaining why whatever was thought to have been said wasn't acceptable.

    Things will always be misheard, or interpreted in a way that wasn't intended. Leaders still need to ask a member of staff about it and investigate, it isn't wrong for them to do so. Hopefully they listened to you and you to them and all is now well.
     
  17. coldmetal

    coldmetal Occasional commenter

    I'm guessing you are a HOD? I will be speaking to my union about this. As I mentioned elsewhere this is not a 'High Security Prison' and for a manager to take it upon themselves to challenge a staff member in a progress review meeting on some hearsay where the gossip monger neither heard the whole conversation or got it in the right order and then misinterpreted it I find not only shocking but disgusting. The fact you condone this doesn't surprise me. However, the fact she thought it was fine and that i challenged her on it now puts me in a position where I may have pushed her offside. Where did you get the unprofessional behaviour bit? there was none of that.
     
  18. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    I think there is clearly an in joke going on here but it is possible to have continuous problems if for example slt have it in for you so people will set out to make your life difficult, it has happened to me - you constantly question yourself. I was once told my lm that I was late one morning. when I asked which morning she was not sure as the person who had told her did not say. I asked her to thank the person concerned and that rather than speak to her if they were so concerned perhaps they should have spoken to me. no more was said. This playground behaviour makes me cross.
     
    mikecom and sbkrobson like this.
  19. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    Were any biscuits thrown - that's what I want to know.
     
    sabrinakat and mothorchid like this.
  20. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    I was once challenged by my then head as they had heard I was late in one morning. I pointed out that while I had arrived rather later than usual, I was still in school before most of the staff and had had a meeting with the DH before my contracted start time! they checked with the DH and apologised to me.

    No problem at all.
     
    galerider123 and sabrinakat like this.

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