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Can't cope :(

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by apricot2410, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. I know there are loads of similar threads on here but I really can't cope. Have been teaching for four years and pretty much hated it for most of that time. I started a new job in January and more than ever I feel I can't cope. I don't want to burn out. Its affecting my health, relationship and social life. My fiancé and parents have told me they think I should quit as they can see how much I've changed. My problem is that I've never done anything else and don't know what job I could do. Also it looks like I'd have to take a fairly big pay cut. I just wanted to know how other people have got through this type of thing? I'm pretty sure I want to leave teaching as im an emotional wreck. Also how do I tell a school I've been at for 4 weeks that I hate it and want to leave? It's not a case of it being a new job and things will settle down. Ive felt the same in my last two jobs but didnt want to be a failure or quitter.
     
  2. I know there are loads of similar threads on here but I really can't cope. Have been teaching for four years and pretty much hated it for most of that time. I started a new job in January and more than ever I feel I can't cope. I don't want to burn out. Its affecting my health, relationship and social life. My fiancé and parents have told me they think I should quit as they can see how much I've changed. My problem is that I've never done anything else and don't know what job I could do. Also it looks like I'd have to take a fairly big pay cut. I just wanted to know how other people have got through this type of thing? I'm pretty sure I want to leave teaching as im an emotional wreck. Also how do I tell a school I've been at for 4 weeks that I hate it and want to leave? It's not a case of it being a new job and things will settle down. Ive felt the same in my last two jobs but didnt want to be a failure or quitter.
     
  3. Well, I'm not really the best person to give advice as I quit teaching a long time ago, when alternative job opportunities were more plentiful. (Though have since done non-teaching assistant /technical stuff, years later, working in the background in many classrooms, what an eye-opener!- can now see how unnecessarily self-critical I was all those years ago...)
    But, if you've stuck out and passed training, and then won a job over ALL the other applicants in these tough employment times..... not once, but THREE times -you will be better than you give yourself credit for. I would put money on that!!!
    No wonder you've found it tough, getting used to three new workplaces/colleagues/new kids in only four years.... And four weeks into the present one must be about the worst time -especially late on a Sunday night...
    Hope you have a better week. Try to chip away bit by bit to change for the better the things you can, remorslessly cut corners whenever possible, pinch every good idea going, and compromise on perfection if it means you get more of a life out of school -it's worth it to get that mental strength for the Monday mornings!
    non x





     
  4. Hi Apricot
    I'm in the same situation as you. I've been teaching 7 years and had two jobs in that time. I always feel I'm not good enough and that everything is piling up, even though I work and work and work. I've made the decision to leave teaching in the last week and its scary, I don't want to get to the point where I have to cut corners and become rubbish at my job and be asked to leave, I would rather walk away than get to that point.
    I don't know what to do either job wise, but have started to find out about supply/tutoring so that maybe I could do a a few days a week while I get myself fit again. Taking a paycut is a huge worry and also doesn't help how you/I might be feeling, but I'm hoping that a short term tightening up of the finances will lead to a happier me and a brighter situation.
    As for school I would try and talk to someone and tell them how you are feeling, they may be able to offer you support of some kind!
    Try not to feel like a failure, I know its hard, its taken me a long time to admit to myself that I could have a better life if I were to change careers.
    Take care
    xx
    IM me if you fancy chatting further
     
  5. I started teaching about 20 years ago & never really thought I was any good at it. Over the years I have been told often enough & had enough success that I have had to believe to a certain extent that I'm not all that bad. But I totally understand what you mean about not liking it. I ran away & worked in an office for 3 years (wages dropped by about 2/3 for a while - terrifying as I am a lone parent with no support ever from his nibs, but helped out by Working Tax Credit and severe frugality) but came back more for the mental stimulation than anything else. Since then, I have taken progressively harder & less well paid jobs, more out of a desire to keep moving / try to find something I can be less miserable doing than for any other reason. I've now got to the point where I feel it is making me ill, trying to keep on doing something I don't enjoy. You are young enough to get out & try other things - you may be skint for a while but there are worse things to be.
     
  6. What is it specifically that you don't like? Try to pinpoint it. Some things can be changed or managed, some things you can't change but can train yourself (with help) to feel differently about.
    If you're sure that you can't change any of the things you find are blighting your enjoyment of your one and only life, then yes, you should not waste any more of it spending every day hating it.
    If you made a mistake about the job, you're in plenty of company. I agree that if you've got through your course and landed three jobs, somebody must be seeing something pretty competent about you but that doesn't change the way you feel about the daily experience.
    Some things you can't know until you've tried them. Trying them and then finding out they're not actually for you does not make you a failure. It doesn't even make the attempt a failure. But yes, you will be looking at a significant pay cut if you leave teaching after four years and have to start again at something else. If you decide to call it a day, I'd say your biggest challenge would be coming up with something you really actually want to make a career out of instead.
     
  7. If you've only been teaching 4 years, I would suggest getting out now while the pay cut is not as drastic as it could be! I have decided enough is enough after 15 years which means a likely pay cut (if I can get an officey type job) of anything up to £25 000 LESS than I earn now!!!!!!
    Do it now while its not such a huge financial shock!
    Have you had a look at some of the websites aimed at those leaving teaching? (just google 'leaving teaching') one recommends a book about transferring your skills. Its quite expensive but I've asked my library to order it. (see, I'm practising having no money already ;)
    Good luck though - there is much sympathy for you out here, and as others say dont waste anymore time hating it.
    X
     

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