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Can't cope anymore :(

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by maggieDD, Jan 29, 2012.

  1. maggieDD

    maggieDD New commenter

    I posted on here a few times, relating to a child I work 121 with in Year 2. He has a statement for behaviour problems but hasn't been diagnosed with anything. I believe (as does his mother and most staff) that he has Pathological Demand Avoidance.
    He has a completely Jeckyll and Hyde character. Can be very polite, helpful and kind some of the time, but then can change if he doesn't get what he wants, or is expected to comply with school rules (written task, listen to teacher, sit on carpet, etc) whereby he will tip over chairs, throw whole tubs of stationery (and anything else to hand).
    He has been excluded for three sessions this week, for violence towards me, and then for throwing a bin at two children in the classroom. There are children who are petrified of his outbursts and become very scared when he has his tantrums. The option of removing the class is not possible due to the amount of complaints other parents have made as the children are being disrupted far too often. One parent has actually removed her child from school because of his behaviour, and others are threatening to.
    I am reluctant to appraoch this child when he is having a tantrum as he will attack me, but the alternative is too risky with a class full of children.
    I am beginning to dread going into school, it's like walking on eggshells wondering what mood he's going to be in.
  2. Get him assessed! Autism? RAD? WHAT? His mother assessed him and you agree? This is madness. Is he in foster care? Call his caseworker. Annoy your head each and every day.
    Talk to someone from Bernardos or Childfind. Call the SEN department of your LEA and report this. Someone is gonna get hurt.
  3. What methods are you currently using to 'control' this situation? The best thing for all involved seems to be that as soon as he starts he is removed from the classroom. This should happen immediately and some method for 'cool down' is initiated in a safe area away from the other children where he cannot harm anyone else or himself.
    The issues should be raised with mother and she should be seeking to have further testing done so that anyone involved in this childs life (her included) know how best to manage him and how to help him improve his behaviour.
    Inclusion is all well and good but the 'reasonable adjustment' we are required to make should not be the safety and well being of other children. I would also suggest that you request further training for yourself to deal with this child, including restraint techniques if necessary.
  4. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    What is the SENCO doing? Has the Ed Psych seen him? You cannot diagnose his problems, an expert needs to do so and then create a statement that meets his needs. Your school may not be the best place for him if he is endangering staff and pupils.

    In the meantime as someone else said, he needs to be removed the moment the tantrum begins, before he hurts someone. You must, by now, be able to spot the signs that he is getting upset and so get him out of the class before he can throw things or hurt people.

    Also have a very frank conversation with your HT. They need to know that staff feel frightened of this child. This is a very serious issue and needs senior staff and experts to deal with it. Not TAs and classteachers. Pass it on as soon as you can.
  5. maggieDD

    maggieDD New commenter

    Thank you for your replies.
    The head (who is new, started after Christmas) is very supportive. The problem, I feel, is that there isn't much consitancy with the dealing of this child. The SENCO will spend a long time talking to him (which doesn't appear to make any difference) she has also tried shouting and restraining (again, no difference) There is a secretary who (when he runs out of class heads straight for) because she gives him cuddles and biscuits. He then smiles as he tells us he didn't get told off for his behaviour, he got a story instead. This has been mentioned to the new head as it has to stop.
    The head has told me that she is putting me on a restraining afternoon course (that was a few weeks ago) nothing has happened since. To be honest, his statement is up for a second review since it started in September and I feel that he's time is up. They have suggested he attend a residential special school (his mother doesn't want him to) but as the welfare of the rest of the class, and the disruption to learning, is a constant threat, I can't see how he can stay :(

  6. maggieDD

    maggieDD New commenter

    He is under CAMHS and his psychotherapist (who he sees once a week for play therapy) has told his mother (when she asked for a PDA test) that he hasn't got autism.
    He never attends the statement reviews, nor does anyone from CAMHS. A behaviour support person was supposed to come once a week to observe. She came once, and then another time (on a day different to the one she'd told me) then she didn't turn up last week.
    Basically everything seems unbelievably disorganised, but there's always an excuse why someone can't make a meeting.
  7. Welcome to UK SEN! We are a quirky and broken down bunch but there is always room for one more.

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