Hello again! So I've not really been here for ages but feel proper pants tonight and know someone here will say something useful or nice! Have had a wonderful weekend staying with friends in Wales, by the beach, drinking, eating, walking spaniels and collies and felt remarkably 'like me' again. Then I came home. I say home, I mean Surrey. Some of you may remember I was working in Wiltshire, but was on maternity cover so had to leave at Christmas. During my time doing that cover, I suffered a massive bout of depression, having spent three months unemployed, my aunt's suicide and trying to deal with my rubbish immediate family. I marched myself off to the docs, started counselling and A LOT of money and 10 months later I was better. But I had to leave that school, and ended up moving to Surrey as I got another maternity post here. I really don't like it!! And I think that why I feel so **** tonight. The school is very 'leafy Surrey suburbia' (apologies for any offence), the kids think A*s are owed to them and will just magically appear through their arrogance and the 'acting head of department' is horrid, patronising and seems to forget I exist. I think partly that I don't want to go back after the holidays, and that I really don't want to be in SUrrey. But I don't know where I want to be instead. I haven't secured a job for September yet, and with applying for jobs constantly and trying to sort out yr11 (I teach half of the exam classes) I don't have time to work out where to go and what to do next. I feel all teary and don't really know why and have an entire easter egg here that I can't be bothered to eat so this isn't good!!! I've done so incredibly well in the last year to deal with all the real problems I had but I can feel the anxiety just ever so s;lightly creeping so I guess thats why I'm here, because at least I'm 'writing' it down and someone will reply, because you're all so lovely like that. And breathe!!