1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice
  3. The Teacher Q&A will be closing soon.

    If you have any information that you would like to keep or refer to in the future please can you copy and paste the information to a format suitable for you to save or take screen shots of the questions and responses you are interested in.

    Don’t forget you can still use the rest of the forums on theTes Community to post questions and get the advice, help and support you require from your peers for all your teaching needs.

    Dismiss Notice

Can a headteacher have a relationship with a member of staff?

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Flowersinspring, Oct 13, 2018.

  1. Flowersinspring

    Flowersinspring Senior commenter

    Serious question. Particularly if the school is seeking voluntary redundancies. Just a query. For a friend - honestly!!!!!!!!!!
  2. Eflmeister

    Eflmeister Occasional commenter

    I suppose there may be claims of favouritism if the person could have been made redundant but wasn’t because of the relationship, but otherwise I can’t see how two adults can be told that they can’t have a relationship. It’s a school not the military.
  3. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I assume it happens a lot.

    There's no law against it. Nor will it be part of school policy to attempt to forbid such things.

    But I would urge all parties to keep the personal and professional strictly separate. Because you're going to be subject to a lot of scrutiny.
  4. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    I would think that (under the circumstances described by the OP), the HT would have to 'declare an interest' when the redundancies were being discussed, and if there was even the smallest chance that their partner could be chosen for redundancy, then withdraw from the process and allow someone else (DHT, presumably) run it...
  5. Flowersinspring

    Flowersinspring Senior commenter

    Thanks for the replies, they've cleared things up.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  6. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    I'm sorry, but this made me laugh!
    Redundancies announced, and the next day all manner of staff turning up at the HTs office in their best working flirt clothes.

    Of course the intrigue is whether the friend for whom you are asking is the HT or one of those queuing up...
  7. englishtt06

    englishtt06 Occasional commenter

    I don't see why not. In three of the schools I've worked in, the HT's better half also worked in the school (in one situation, his wife was a teacher in my department where I was HoD - an odd hierachy!).

    The only issue I could foresee is as others have pointed out: a conflict of interest. Or if it's all hush hush; trying to be discreet can often lead fingers of suspicion in the couple's direction!
  8. PGCE_tutor

    PGCE_tutor New commenter

    I've worked for two headteachers whose spouses were teachers at the school. One wasn't a problem in the least, the other... well..... but that needs a new thread.
    As it's voluntary redundancies the only problem might be if the person concerned put themselves forward for redundancy and there were more volunteers than posts being deleted.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  9. strawbs

    strawbs Established commenter

    half my school are married or related to each other...
  10. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    The very stuff of Mills and Boon.
  11. meggyd

    meggyd Senior commenter

    Sorry but I think it is inadvisable. I recall a member of SLT having a series of relationships with young nqts. I found that unprofessional to be honest. Extra marital relationships at school are particularly fraught. I accept that unattached people do often meet their partners at work but I think that if one is in a senior position and especially line managing it is best if work and home are kept as separate as possible.
    stonerose likes this.
  12. CWadd

    CWadd Senior commenter


    How it's handled is down to the discretion of said staff.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  13. Flowersinspring

    Flowersinspring Senior commenter

    Ok then. How about if the one queuing up is married and the Head isn't? Just putting it out there. Y'know. Hypothetically, like.
  14. meggyd

    meggyd Senior commenter

    Who has time to pursue a romantic relationship at work? Ordinary class teachers are far too busy!
  15. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Stay out of it and leave them to it.
    People need to make their own choices without colleagues gossiping and speculating.
  16. BioEm

    BioEm Occasional commenter

    Pretty much my thoughts on the subject.
  17. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Hang on.

    So the teacher is going to be conducting an extra-marital affair. The HT is single.

    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  18. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Unless this is a seriously religious school, who cares?
    Presumably they are adults and so responsible for their own decisions?

    And if we are going along the 'queuing up' or 'going to be' idea, at the moment nothing except gossip and speculation appears to have happened.
    Pomza, BioEm and CWadd like this.
  19. CWadd

    CWadd Senior commenter

    If this is what's really going on...Why not say at the beginning, rather than the winky implication?

    If it's hypothetical...no one's business.

    If it's really the case that someone at your friends school is planning an affair to keep their job, then that says more about the person than the HT.
    Lara mfl 05 and BioEm like this.
  20. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter



    Lara mfl 05, BioEm and CWadd like this.

Share This Page