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Calling Muslim advice

Discussion in 'Personal' started by henriette, Apr 29, 2012.

  1. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    I am sure that some people will be able to give me a personal opinion on this:
    please feel free to PM if you don't want to post publicly: I <u>really do</u> want to do the right thing by both my friend and the food!
  2. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    I don't understand why you've chosen to cook a meal where this issue arises.

    Why not just cook something else?
  3. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    Heaven forfend you shoud actually ASK your friend.
  4. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    He is joining a group for a pre-planned dinner and as my menu is well balanced and suits the fussiness of the other diners (no red meat, no pulses, no spices, no tomatoes / onions / garlic / peppers / aubergines / mushrooms / pasta / rice + a long list of other no-noes) I don't want to have to change the whole plan again!
    Did you not read the original post?
    I don't want this person to think that they are putting me out at all: it is actually the other swho are hard to feed, and having found a perfect combination I wanted to stick with it if at all possible.
  5. As someone suggested, use grape juice - Schloer perhaps?
  6. Just ask. It doesn't matter how people here feel about it as you'll get as many answers as there are people. The person who matters is your guest.
  7. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    Yes I did - but a friend would surely prefer you ask rather than having to run the risk of them not being able to eat your food
  8. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    OK - it was a mistake to extend this to Personal from Cookery as there is clearly a different mindset:
    1) the<u> last</u> thing I would ever do is check that a guest can/will eat what I am preparing: if I have to ask I obviously do not know them well enough/am too insecure over my food to invite them to my home.
    2) planning and preparing a meal, tinkering around the edges and making sure it is perfect is a source of enormous joy: if I said "do you eat ...." it would spoil the whole event!
    Sorry I bothered you: ignore this post from hereon.
  9. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    If your friend is a Muslim, he would not be able to eat anything that has had alcoholic drink in it. Also pots, plates and cutlery that have been in contact with any kind of meat that is not halal should be washed several times (7 times if pig related) before using and left to dry naturally, not dried on a teatowel.
    No pig meat or products should be stored near the food either.
    Shellfish of any kind is not allowed, including crab, lobster or prawns (although many people do eat prawns, calling them 'fish') Fish with gills is the only kind permitted. Not octopus or squid.
    Hidden ingredients to watch out for include rennet (in any cheeses not marked as vegetarian), whey powder, shellac, cochineal (Red colour E120), gelatine and glycerine.
    Foods marked 'suitable for vegetarians/vegans' are usually ok if they don't contain any of the above.

    Good luck in reconciling the various needs of the guests - no rice or pasta or tomatoes or spices or onions - that's a challenge!
  10. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    Far better to ask a bunch of strangers about the eating habits of your 'friends'
  11. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    Just wanted to add that it's really nice to hear about someone respecting their friends like this and taking the time and trouble to be inclusive in sharing a meal.
    I've never been able to eat out at a friend's house because I've not wanted to make it difficult for them - some people don't have the generosity of spirit to care about the details and get shirty if you refuse 'a nice bit of wafer-thin ham' [​IMG]
  12. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    She's just doing a bit of research.
    Not everyone knows the dietary requirements of different faiths. I'd have to do a bit of finding out before having Jewish friends to dinner and would probably do a double check with TES too, to be honest.
    Nicer to do it that way than to cross-examine someone on their 'different' ways. Some people aren't very observant and feel uncomfortable if you ask what someone of their faith can/can't eat if they aren't as strict as they know they should be.
    This way embarassment is avoided and it shows she has taken care to respect her guests.
    Better to leave out the wine than ask someone directly, 'Are you an observant or a hypocritical Muslim?' [​IMG]

  13. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    As has already been said, individual attitudes to religous strictures on diet vary enormously - for some a splash of boiled wine would cause no issues, for other it could be grossly offensive - the only way to know for certain is to ask the friend concerned.
    I (and would wager most) would far prefer to know that my friend felt comfortable enough in our relationship to ask me rather than risk a faux pas.

  14. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    But if you go for inclusive and 'safe' food, you avoid lots of uncomfortable questions.
  15. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    You do indeed, I don't believe anyone is arguing against this
  16. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    I think the OP needs friends with simplier tastes. This sounds like too much hard work.
  17. henriette

    henriette New commenter

    I probably do, but I do not judge whether I want to be friends with someone based upon what they like/dislike to eat!
    btw: there will be 10 o us to eat so the dislikes/won't eats cover everyone, not just a small number of people!
    What I am going to do is this: cook the fish, make the sauce and serve it to Rashid's plate then add wine for the rest of us. Hopefully, he will not ever notice that his is different or, if he does, he will be pleased that I made the effort. As I said before, he doesn't insist on Halal, just doesn't eat pork or drink alcohol, so I am guessing it will all be OK.
    Giraffe: you are totally on my wavelength!
  18. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Oh give over you lot (except giraffe!).
    H is just trying to be sensitive to someone's needs without making them feel uncomfortable. Having eaten at H's house I am confident whatever she cooks will be delicious.
  19. Never? Do none of them cook you a meal you can eat? It makes me want to invite you for dinner!
  20. Or assume the friend adheres to the strictest rules and replace wine with an alternative.

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