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Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by Tills, Dec 15, 2011.

  1. So this is just a kind of 'please tell me I'm not mad!' post rather
    than looking for practical help! (although practical is always nice!)
    always been quite broody, even when I was a teenager I found the 'oh
    you wont one when is screaming/pooing, you dont really understand!'
    irritating as I didnt feel it was a 'oh its so cute' thing but an actual
    need and physical desire to be pregnant and have a baby.
    In the
    last 6 months I've thought about being pregnant constantly, imagined
    giving birth, thought of name...Recently
    its become a bit of an obsession, like thinking of names and looking
    things up on the internet. I had an epiphany last night that its an
    obession and I need to sort myself out. I've been much better today,
    haven't been looking stuff up or looking at my friends baby pictures!
    not married but in a long term relationship with the hope (from both me
    and him) that we will one day get married and have children. Nothing is
    really stopping us having children except that it seems silly when so
    young (I'm early 20s) not to wait until we're more settled and have a
    little more money. His job will mean we have to move in the next couple
    of years and we've only just started living together.
    The main
    things worrying me at the moment are a)how do I stop this?! Is it
    hormonal? Should I look into changing my pill? and b) am I right in
    thinking I shouldn't discuss this with him because, frankly I think I'm
    being a bit crazy and it will put the pressure on! I just keep thinking
    'you're nuts, you've no reason to want a baby or marriage yet and you're
    in no position to pay for it!'At the same time the classic macho 'ahhhh
    weddings and babies!' attitude from him (dare I say some men in
    general) annoys me and I think is a bit put on. This is what I want from
    my life. Am I being unreasonable to think he should grow up a little?
    No we dont have to get married now but could we at least have a serious
    conversation about it?
    Im not working much at the moment and the
    obsession bit has probably only gone on for I think 2 weeks so perhaps
    its just being alone in the house. I have a full time job in Jan so
    maybe it will go away then? My plan is to try to stay sane through till
    Jan, work until that job finishes and then, if I still feel the same,
    have the 'where is this going' convo with DP in the summer.
    before anyone asks, none of my close friends (of my age) are pg, most of them are in relationships but not close to mariage and babies. I dont
    feel pressure from family or friends, just from myself! If anything I
    feel like the world is thinking 'how ridiculous, you're far too young to
    have those concerns' which makes me feel 9 years old again and makes me
    want to cry/scream/rant at them.
    * sigh* I just have to keep
    remembering that TTC might be very diffcult and drawn out (not for any
    specific reason other than it can be in general!), babies are expensive
    and I need to enjoy my post-student adulthood first.
  2. toeinwater

    toeinwater New commenter

    I was a bit like you: broody from an early age, but not the 'cutesy' factor. The difference is that my OH wasn't terribly keen and there always seemed a good excuse for not doing it at that time. Here I am at 33, 21 months of trying and still no baby or even a dot. In my experience it didn't go away, I just learnt to deal with it. Sorry that's not terribly helpful, but at least you've got your OH on side already, which is half the battle.
  3. I don't think early 20's is too young as I was 20 when I had my first and now I'm 26 and pregnant with my second :) not married either :)
    I think only you can decide if you want kids right now all I know is no matter how old you are or what stage in your life you are at you can never be truly ready for becoming a parent - parenting is 90% instinct!
  4. Toeinwater you're right, I need to remember how lucky I am and enjoy this period before we start the stress of planning a wedding and TTC. Of course I dont know if I'll ahve difficulties so getting stressed out at this stage isnt helpful! There is much harder to come. Best of luck to you and your OH.
    MissRobinson - very few people say that so thank you [​IMG]Again I think whatyou said reminded me to be thankful. I'm lucky to be able to chose when I want children.
  5. I was like you, but never with anyone reliable enough or had enough money. When we did get in a position to do it, I discovered I have fertility issues (with no prior problems/symptoms). We had our son when I was 29 and to be honest, the lifestyle change was enormous and I don't think in hindsight I would have been ready earlier. You could always have a fertility check up if you are worried about putting it off. You'd need to pay but just look up your local fertility clinics. I don't want to say do it or don't because I know some guys *** off when their women get accidentally pregnant, and I wouldn't want that to happen to you. If he really is the right man for you, just don't wait too long I guess.


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