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Breastfeeding while pregnant/tandem nursing

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by lucchese, Mar 28, 2011.

  1. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    Hi everyone
    Was just wondering if there is anyone out there willing to share experiences of the above with me. I am currently 11 weeks pregnant with number 2 and still breastfeeding my 14-month-old son twice a day (I night-weaned him a month ago with no significant problems). I was initially thinking of weaning him off both feeds when he is 15 months and I know everything is ok with this pregnancy, but now find I am really in no hurry and am keener than I thought I would be to continue. I have one problem in that my husband keeps pressurising me to stop. In fact, I am enjoying breastfeeding more now than I have at any other point (mainly to do with the fact that I was breastfeeding about 6 times a day until recently so 2 feeds is really great in comparison).
    I think my two main concerns are whether he is getting enough milk or if he would be better off having formula/cows' milk to fill him up a bit more before bedtime (he hardly has anything at this time). And secondly, whether I should really be giving myself a bit of a break before starting to breastfeed all over again, I know this is a personal decision but it would be nice to hear what others think. I am not really that keen on the idea of tandem nursing, although it is hard to think that far ahead at the moment. I know my husband would be appalled at the idea :)
    I do however really like the idea of my LO self-weaning himself when he is ready instead of me deciding when to wean him.
    Btw, I've also posted this on the pregnancy forum so apologies to those of you who frequent both.
  2. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    I breastfed through my second pregnancy and went on to tandem nursed. I support the idea of TN and eventhough I have been there and done that, I didn't want to TN and didn't enjoy it myself BUT my daughter really really needed teh security it provided and I know that she was always better off having my milk (and colostrum as after a while your milk goes and your body only makes colostrum) than having cow's milk. I found it hard to bf through pg as I was also working full time and I had SPD too. Don't start to think I am a martyr here, please. It just meant that at bedtime, I could feed her in bed and unlatch her and she would drift off. Non of the shenanigans that could otherwise have happen at the end of a long day when putting a toddler to bed. For me it was the easier option than to work at weaning her, work at comforting or putting her to bed etc etc. She was also down to 2 feeds a day at this point so it wasn't hard from that POV.

    When dd2 arrived she wanted a feed everytime the baby was fed - understandable - but after a couple weeks she understood that the baby wasn't pushing her out and many TN mums will say taht they think that TN makes the bonds between siblings especially strong and starts very early. The younger is now 2.5yo and there is absolutely no sibling rivalry between them. OK the 2yo is an egocentric 2yo at times but that is normal and the older one understands that her sister is like that because she is too. One of the most touching scenes is when they are both feeding and they spontaneously hold each other's hands or caress each other's face or arms. Pure love. BTW, I didn't like feeding two at a time, one at a time but not two at the same time, but that didn't happen often as the older one was usually willing to wait for the baby to finish before she had a quick feed.

    Unless you think you need a break there is no need to take a break while pg. Your body knows what it is doing. If you want to ask me any other questions go ahead on her or feel free to send me a message.
  3. Hi, I stopped breast feeding my 20 month just a couple of weeks ago when I was 16 weeks pregnant. I had carried on bf, even though I was worried it was delaying me conceiving number 2 because it seemed more important than being pregnant in a hurry. She was becoming less and less bothered about bf and would more and more often go off to bed quite happily after having refused a bf - I was still offering every night and every morning. But my boobs were so sore through my pregnancy, and I was getting really tired, so I took advantage of her lack of interest and encouraged her to stop. The final crunch was one weekend we went away for a wedding and left her behind. I am really glad I carried on so long, and relieved to have stopped so easily without any upset from her. I think I would have carried on to tandem feed if I thought it would have made any difference to her, but she seemed ready to stop really.
    I think I read somewhere than folic acid supplements were even more important when you had been breast feeding long term, as it depletes your supplies, but nobody has ever told me that officially and it may well be one of those things I just picked up on a random website! The kelly mom website I found to be useful when I was considering my options, even if I was suspicious at first about it being American! And I once emailed a La Leche person, who was also very helpful.
    Good luck and whatever you decide to do, I hope you are happy with your choice!
  4. I forgot to answer the cows milk query! I offer my little girl half a cup of milk just before she goes to bed, sometimes she guzzles it, sometimes she's not bothered, sometimes she asks for it. I follow her lead, and besides her very fat tummy that occasionally makes me think I'm overfeeding her!, it seems to suit her quite well. She also quite often has a cup of milk in the afternoon - again sometimes she has loads, sometimes hardly any. I think I read somewhere they should be having about a pint a day including in food eg yoghurt, on cereal, in cheese sauce. At this age though, as long as they are eating well generally, I don't think you're supposed to worry too much.
    Hope that helps!
  5. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    Thanks very much to both of you for sharing your experiences. I think my experience is more similar to yours mac78 as my LO is getting less and less fussed about feeding at the moment, particularly at bedtime, he just keeps coming on and off, although he hasn't yet refused a feed. I am wondering how much milk I've got left too as I can hardly hear him swallowing anything. I will keep offering at these two times of day and see what happens, but can't see myself getting beyond another month or so as I am now getting a bit restless when feeding (pregnancy agitation?). I tried calling the NCT breastfeeding helpline last week but they never replied to my message so I will try La Leche League as they were really helpful in the past.
    I really admire the fact you tandem fed for a while undiwear, really don't think I could do it, as I find one hard enough :) Also, I don't think my LO is that attached to BF either, but not sure how he will react to stopping though.
  6. That's just how I was Luchesse! In the end going away for the weekend gave me the final push to stop completely. I had also seen and hoped to do that never offer, never refuse Sooty- it sounds quite nice, but I had got to the point where I was thinking there can't be any milk left anyway. And it sounds funny, but it had got to the point where it almost felt rude not to ask her if she wanted any milk! So now I still ask her if she wants some, but she gets it in a cup.
    Let us know how you get on L, good luck

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