1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Breastfeeding...please tell me it gets easier!

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Chica77, May 24, 2011.

  1. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    My daughter is 12 days old and is constantly feeding and I am pretty much glued to the sofa all the time. She fed within half hour of being born and seems not to have stopped since. I've been giving the odd formula top-up, mainly last thing at night, or I would never get any sleep at all. I usually express some in the evening to make up for the formula feed, but i'm lucky if I get an ounce.
    She'll fall asleep feeding and i try to keep her awake, and if i put her in the crib she's crying for more 5 mins later. Sometimes she gets stressed and pulls off constantly, and i try to wind her every time and sometimes she does have wind and is fine, but other times I don't know what the problem is. When she wakes in the night I feed her in bed and she goes to sleep fine then.
    The only time she is chilled out is after her bedtime formula feed - she's like a different baby.
    I have a toddler who will be 2 next month and a husband who works shifts, and am wondering how I will cope when he goes back to work. He has 4 weeks off in total. There's no way I can look after my son if I am glued to the sofa all day long, and i'm aware that i've been neglecting him lately as i've had my baby on my boobs all day every day.
    Any advice? Please tell me it starts to get easier soon because I don't want to have to give it up.
     
  2. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    My daughter is 12 days old and is constantly feeding and I am pretty much glued to the sofa all the time. She fed within half hour of being born and seems not to have stopped since. I've been giving the odd formula top-up, mainly last thing at night, or I would never get any sleep at all. I usually express some in the evening to make up for the formula feed, but i'm lucky if I get an ounce.
    She'll fall asleep feeding and i try to keep her awake, and if i put her in the crib she's crying for more 5 mins later. Sometimes she gets stressed and pulls off constantly, and i try to wind her every time and sometimes she does have wind and is fine, but other times I don't know what the problem is. When she wakes in the night I feed her in bed and she goes to sleep fine then.
    The only time she is chilled out is after her bedtime formula feed - she's like a different baby.
    I have a toddler who will be 2 next month and a husband who works shifts, and am wondering how I will cope when he goes back to work. He has 4 weeks off in total. There's no way I can look after my son if I am glued to the sofa all day long, and i'm aware that i've been neglecting him lately as i've had my baby on my boobs all day every day.
    Any advice? Please tell me it starts to get easier soon because I don't want to have to give it up.
     
  3. It does get easier but in the first few weeks your supply is based on how much the baby demands. They do fall asleep during feeds, maybe because they relax and feel comforted?
    Hope this helps
     
  4. Less advice than words of support - it did feel like constant feeding for a few weeks, but it's by satisfying that need (for comfort, by the sounds of it, as much as for food) that your little girl will feel the confidence to relax when she's not sucking. Do you co-sleep? I found that was a life-saver as our girl wouldn't settle in her basket, and she and I could just lie on our sides with her feeding while I dozed. Some babies just don't like their cribs, too - is there anywhere else she might settle for a bit (bouncy chair? car seat?) But she's still SO little, your supply is still getting established and she's still getting used to being outside you - things will settle down and you will soon have more time for your son, so please don't worry.

    It took me the best part of two months to get properly relaxed and settled into breast-feeding comfortably at 3-hour intervals, but I'm so pleased I stuck with it and in the long run it leaves you with more time for yourself/family than sterilising and preparing bottles would. No disrespect to ff-ers; I'm just saying it like I find it, as I'm now having to ff. Have you got a bf support group? Or a helpful HV/ BF counsellor?

    Like everything baby-related, this won't last, I promise. Just keep smearing on the Lansinoh in the meantime and accept all offers of help.
     
  5. congratulaions to start with
    I agree with emmyru - it does get easier and co-sleeping/car seat sleeping were our life saver to begin with - he was so little didn't like being in the crib at all. re expressing I could only ever express when LO was feeding from the other side - its a bit of a faff need to use a pillow to support LO but it worked for us.
    My LO always fell asleep on me - fed every hour - if I was lucky. Find a BF support group - really helps when you can talk to other mums.
    Good luck
     
  6. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Yes, it gets much easier! I'd second what emmy says about co-sleeping: it enabled me to sleep, and therefore function in the day! Our baby wouldn't sleep in her moses basket, though she's fine in her cot now- apparently she just needed that extra reassurance early on.
    Bf is really easy and lovely in the long run. You will be able to feed anywhere, and your baby will get much quicker at feeding (I really miss those hours on the sofa!!).
     
  7. It DOES get easier. As with everything it gets easier with practise, both for you and for baby.
    Can I suggest you get her checked for a tongue tie? My friends lo did this constantly and she was on the verge of giving up when our hv spotted a tongue tie. It was released (small operation, very quick, seemed no worse than injections) and he was like a different baby. My eldest also did this but was fine as soon as we started her on infacol, so that might be worth a shot too.
    When my lo was that age I too spent hours on the sofa (I loved it) but she did settle down to feeding less frequently during the day, then cluster fed in the evenings and we co-slept at night so we could all get more sleep. Have you thought about a sling for during the day? I never used mine for feeding in but know a few people who managed it. I think the size of your boobs affects how easy it is though (mine are huge so no room for them and baby [​IMG] in our sling)
    Take it one day at a time, and even one feed at a time if you need to. I had terrible worries about feeding my eldest as I was a wreck, but I kept going and ended up feeding her for a year.
     
  8. I was going to suggest this too - take to bed with your baby and feed and sleep and rest (both of you!) for a day so you can recoup some energy.
     
  9. I'm afraid it is. It's exhausting isn't it. Reading your posts it is bringing back so many memories (good and bad), I don't think with breastfeeding frequencies in the early days there is such a thing as 'normal' - baby just has to suckle away whenever they need to. In those early days it feels as though you are doing nothing BUT feeding. It's so hard. It must be extra hard with a toddler. I nearly caved in so many times.
    Again this is normal. I remember being petrified of leaving the house for this very reason. I remember my OH trying to gently persuade me to go out to tesco and I ended up wailing 'but what if the baby needs a feed?!' All I can say is that it DOES get better. Sooner rather than later. You will get to that point before you know it. No-one warns you about this do they!!?? P.S. Don't over-worry baby's weight loss. Again it is pretty normal with BF babies. My LO lost 20% of his birth-weight and put it back on very slowly. But, he was healthy and fine. If you over-worry it, you'll stress yourself out, which is not what you or LO need. It can affect supply. P.P.S please don't feel sad, you are doing great x
     
  10. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    Thanks again - everyone is being really helpful.
    Yep, she gulps at first and then you can hear swallows and see her little jaw moving as she feeds. So she must be feeding, plus her nappies have been very wet, so i guess she is getting enough from me.
    I just gave them a call, so thanks for the number! The lady i spoke to said that by now i should start to see a change in her feeding and she should be going longer between feeds, and she seemed to think she was feeding a lot, and said that definitely by 3 weeks I should see an improvement. She also suggested a sling, so I think i'll go get one tomorrow. She said she probably wants comfort from me and also obviously a sling would free up my hands so i can look after my son too. I was thinking of a Babasling. Does anyone have one and think they're any good? I just want it for in the flat really, and for getting down to my car where I keep the pram. I live on the 2nd floor so need to make sure my son is safe. He can walk down the stairs unsupported, but I like to have hands free and be in front of him just in case.
    At the moment i'm staying at my parents' and my husband's here too, so i have plenty of people to keep my son occupied, plus it's more relaxing to be here and not worry about cooking/cleaning etc. I was getting a bit stressed at home as my son likes to make mess everywhere, and i'm sure that didn't help.
    Oh, and i know 20g is nearly an oz not a pound, didn't mean to write pound! I'd have been shocked if she's put on that much!
    I'm going to keep persevering anyway and see how we go. If i manage 4 weeks i'll be pleased.
     
  11. You're doing great. Glad you got in touch with BfN. Have you tried your local La Leche League?
    Lots of people come to Sling Meet with these having not been able to get the hang of them. I would suggest a stretchy wrap (Moby, Kari-Me). If you're not happy to wrap (and weather is a bit warm!) I would recommend a Close Carrier. If you have a local Sling Meet (www.slingmeet.co.uk) it would be worth going there to try some slings out and get advice.
     
  12. How long are you up north? I might be able to find a group meeting near you who can give you some sling advice, and BF'ing support?
     
  13. I have a KariMe Chica, which you are welcome to borrow - there are videos on YouTube to show you how to tie them - looks complicated but becomes second nature very quickly.
     
  14. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    Probably about 10 days. I've managed to find a BF support group tomorrow afternoon and have e-mailed them to check it's on, and for directions! It's bad but I have no idea where anything is and I grew up here!
    There's a shop that sells loads of baby stuff a couple of miles away so i'll go there and see if they have a selection of slings and get some advice. That's where we got our pram. Our icandy pear conversion is still in its box as I've hardly been out [​IMG]
     
  15. If there's a children's centre nearby, they often have BFing cafes too to drop in for support/tea/biscuits. There is a group meeting in Leeds next Tuesday which would be great for sling advice but that might be a bit far? Beware BabyBjorn/Tomy style carriers, they're not well designed to support baby or your back - have a quick skim over the slingguide website (http://www.slingguide.co.uk/) especially the safety bit so you know what to look out for when choosing your one - it will save you money (and back ache) in the long run!
     
  16. I have the babsling and wouldn't recommend it tbh. I persevered with it for a couple of months, but I never felt she was entirely secure in it and had a hand on her at the same time, which kind of defeated the purpose of the sling. I would recommend getting a wrap while she's little. I then moved on to a mei tei, which I adore (I didn't think I would but it's great).
     
  17. Can't seem to use quote or paragraphing on my mac - maybe it's safari - but:

    I totally forgot, the NCT national helpline were excellent when I rang them (you don't have to be a member). They didn't so much as offer practical advice (though they did a bit), as give me encouragement and listen. One lady even offered to give me her home phone number for when they closed that evening.

    0300 330 0771

    Good luck x
     
  18. I used a stretchy wrap with a newborn. (Moby- from Amazon) and they are really good- take a little practice but you get a very snug feel.
    A ringsling is also good- similar to babasling but easier to adjust- and very easy to feed in. It is hard to find them in the shops though- but you can get them online. Natural mamas is good for buying slings.
    I am a bit jealous, we don't have a breastfeeding cafe anywhere near us.
     
  19. I had a babasling and found it dreadful.........
    I got a didymos wrap (secondhand from e bay) and it was fantastic! i was still using it when my daughter was 2. They are initially a bit tricky to get on BUT there are lots of useful videos on youtube and once you've got it it's simple!!
    Well done for BF so far..it is hard work. My daughter fed constantly for the first few weeks. We reckoned she was a starter, fish course, main, pudding and coffee with mints girl..with a short nap between courses!! It did settle down after a while though..I can not recall how long it took but certainly by 3 months all was settled (that was Xmas which is why i remember I am sure it was earlier!!) We then fed to 34 months!
    She lost a fair bit of weight to start and was slow to put it back on..I kept being told I HAD to give her formula but stubborn me did not..she was gaining weight and having plenty of nappies..and she is just fine! I don't know if the red book things have changed but i was told that when my DD was small that the weight gain lines were based on FF babies who gain weight differently!
     
  20. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    I'd also suggest a wrap. I love my Ellaroo. There are a few sites which show you different ways to tie them, and also it comes with a how-to card with a couple of ties on there. I've even managed to feed when I've been out with the dog and the baby, and I was surprised- thought mine were too big/low down but the bra helped!!
    Do persevere with it if you possibly can- it's really wonderful once it's working well.x
     

Share This Page