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Bored and frustrated

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Marshall, Jan 13, 2019.

  1. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    This is getting worse the longer I am off school.

    Motivation has gone.
  2. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Is there a reasonable reason for this? Are you just feeling sorry for yourself? Are you expecting sensible or silly replies?
  3. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    I'm sorry that things are so difficult for you.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  4. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    My motivation has gone too, but I'm only trying to write about 20,000 words to finish off a novel.
    JosieWhitehead likes this.
  5. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    So sorry, @Marshall. But I know things are bleak for you at the moment, and I am not at all surprised to read this.
    What is the current situation with school? I have a feeling you're signed off, but also facing a possible redundancy/SA? Are you actually keen to return?
    What have you got that's positive at the moment? Can you focus on that?
    And as for Motivation. Motivation to do what? Sometimes, when I was suffering badly from WRS, I counted a day when I was dressed before noon, with minty-fresh brushed teeth as a positive. A friend said to me that she tried to do at least one thing each day she could count as an achievement. Sometimes that was doing the ironing, or cleaning the bath. sometimes it was putting half a dozen old books in the charity shop bag. And sometimes it was bigger, like changing electricity suppliers. (Which I think you have just managed!) But it is good to reflect each evening and realise that today has had good bits.
    If you would like to PM me, please do.
  6. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    Mothorchild - one of the problems is I don't know. Waiting for GP report following Occ Health report.

    I have worked all my life in stressful roles (not just in education - I didn't come into it until I was 35) and I now know that I have let my personal life slip and any interests/hobbies I used to have I don't longer have. I do enjoy the stress (?) and I think I probably have some form of ADHD/Aspergers.

    I think today is a down day - I had done a few things this week - organised a whole new fence in my garden, plus getting in a plumber to do 'jobs'; sorted out finances and personal paperwork. BUT it's all boring.

    My kitchen is a disaster site and I can't think about where to start.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  7. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    You need some form of people contact, don't you?
    Surely that is why you are on here.
    But it is a static pursuit.
    Can you get a neighbour to come over for a cup of tea?
    Can you get out of the house at all?
    Forget the kitchen bomb site. Nobody cares other than the internal castigator who is always invited in when others are absent .The motivation to sort that will come once you've actually instigated the dynamism of human interaction.
    When all else fails, the minds of others are guaranteed to inspire. The most mundane of exchanges can be a light in the dark. For me, it's hearing about what others have been up to, and paradoxically, my biggest joy is hearing what is getting others down. It's not Schadenfreude, it's perspective. And the feeling of being useful by just listening. Maybe that's just me, but it is true irrespective of what we gain from others that we are a sociable race, and if you take that away, we end up pacing, internalising, controverting normality into dissatisfaction with ourselves. Inadequacy embodied.
    How can you get some socialising?
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2019
  8. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    You are right - it is the people contact I am missing - Hubs is not exactly speaking very much as he feels carp.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  9. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Can you get out?
  10. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Can't say I'm surprised and many others in a similar situation have felt the same. :(

    mothorchid's suggestions are good and really you are not doing badly. You've changed energy suppliers for example. At my worst just getting up and getting dressed I considered an achievement.

    I also agree it's lack of interaction with others' which is probably exacerbating your own situation. Here is certainly a good place to come for some form of interaction and sadly :( there are loads of people who will completely understand your situation.

    If you just want 'random interaction' pop over to 'our over-the-garden-fence' chat . Virtual cake is often on offer and topics change from day to day. You're welcome to dip in and out if any topic interests you and may help with that ack of 'social interaction'.
  11. Doitforfree

    Doitforfree Star commenter

    Our bedroom was a disaster site and it was really getting me down, but I couldn't face the mammoth job it was going to be. In the end I decided just to tackle one small bit, did a bit more than I have planned and actually the results are transformative, even though most of it is still left to do.

    I'd echo the suggestions to get outside or see if someone wants to come for a coffee. I would if I were near enough! Can you treat yourself to whatever gives you pleasure, whether that's reading for half an hour or watching a film or anything that you enjoy?
    agathamorse likes this.
  12. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    Yes I can but not doing so.

    Need to go out every day - I'll start tomorrow with a walk - 5 mins and then 10 mins etc.

    I know what to do and just writing this helped me. 5 mins short bursts in the kitchen and I can already see a difference.
  13. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    It's marvellous how just 'sharing' can help with motivation. Plus breaking tasks down into manageable / achievable chunks, is always a good way to go. :)
  14. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Well if you can get out, head for folks who can talk. Let their voices in their inanity displace the malaise that's gripping you.
    agathamorse and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  15. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter

    Lots of sensible suggestions here, Marshall. I understand about the feeling of being bored. One of the two main reasons (the other being money) that I’m continuing with part time work after taking retirement is that I hate the feeling of me and the four walls with nothing worthwhile to do. It’s great for a few days or weeks but forever? That’s more difficult.

    I hope your school situation makes progress. We’re here for you.
  16. red_observer

    red_observer Star commenter

    I hope you find something to sort this feeling out. Sorry to hear it. I think we all need some sort of purpose in life and I hope you find it. Take care.
  17. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    Thanks everyone, this website has been my lifeline for the last couple of months. x
  18. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    It has certainly been mine and one of the reasons I try to offer help to colleagues if I can, as a sort of payback for all the support I've received in the past.
  19. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    If you find that walking helps, and you like dogs, you could look at the Borrow My Doggie website in your area. Walking a dog would give you more motivation to get out and people tend to chat when you have a dog with you.
  20. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    I do like dogs and the only reason I don't have one is because of work commitments. I will certainly look into Borrow My Doggie!

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