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Bloody parents of nasty kids

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by chipsnegg, Feb 3, 2020.

  1. chipsnegg

    chipsnegg New commenter

    Hello, vent time.

    Kid in class. Yr 3. No respect for adults. Has made other teachers cry. constantly testing boundaries - keys on lanyard swinging, chair swinging, use a pencil not a pen, why should I walk, why should I sit up, why should I use a ruler, loud and frequent belches that he cant help as they just "happen",

    Mum is now complaining that I gave him a C for his music grade. he hasn't sung a note all year, frequently throws the bloody instruments around the class, can't follow a steady beat, can't play a rhythm pattern two times the same on percussion.

    I'm sick of this job

    might try lion taming. more money in it.
  2. bigfatgit

    bigfatgit Occasional commenter

    Dear Parent

    Many thanks for pointing out the typing error I made with your child's music grade; it was, of course, meant to be an F

    Best regards
  3. neddyfonk

    neddyfonk Lead commenter

    Sounds like the 'kid in class 3' needs an old fashioned object lesson in why elders should be respected. Who provides the home, food, care, support and protection ? Who would a child turn to if teachers and parents decided they could not be bothered to provide food, a warm bed, money for games or a kind word? I would attempt to engineer a safe scenario where said child recognises the need for such a person in their life.
  4. princesslegend

    princesslegend Occasional commenter

    Ask mum to observe him in the lesson... every day until he learns to behave.
    I thnk a C is far too generous.

    I hope you're ok. xx
    tonymars, towncryer, tenpast7 and 4 others like this.
  5. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    Been there. Mainstream is not suitable for all.
    Your school management should be delivering support to him, the rest of his class and to you & the other staff. At the very least this should involve periods of 1:1, working on his own and frequent discussions with parents.
    At the moment this child is learning disaffection anti-sociability and poor behaviour. Nobody wants this.
  6. peter12171

    peter12171 Star commenter

    The system will probably bend over backwards to provide him support, keep him in lessons (however disruptive he is), and any consequences will be minimal. In a few year’s time he will be doing exactly the same in secondary whilst in a class of lower ability GCSE students who want to do the best they can but their lessons will be disrupted by him.

    If I was really cynical I’d say a few years after that he’ll probably be in prison!
  7. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Beyond the exasperation, if mum is complaining, what does she want to happen?
    If she does not say what she wants, then she's not complaining, she's just being noisy. Like her kid.
    What is she asking for?
    It's important you find out, now matter how difficult a parent is, because you can then forge a pretense of getting them what they want, or an explanation that ends in them actually thanking you. That's the ideal.

    Guess I'm wary of negative parental contact. Somewhere high up in the school, parent voice is generally taken very seriously, and if this concern about his grade is not fully assuaged by you then she can take it higher. Many do.
    Then begins scrutiny.
    GirlGremlin and phlogiston like this.
  8. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    Psychologically, parent probably realises that to admit to the behaviour of their child will be a negative inditement on them.
    SLT need to be involved (if supportive) and arrange to meet with the parents to explain things must change and (at least initially) offer support. Failing that if a child is that disruptive ut should be alternative provision for the benefit of everyone else. I'm all for giving people a chance but a line must be drawn at some point.
  9. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    Or worse. Are we (as in teachers) also at fault for giving such children 'C' grades (most people think this means a satisfactory standard has been attained, suggesting reasonable effort has been applied) and generally tolerating this behaviour? There's no way this would have been allowed when I was in primary (and there was far more deprivation then), though admittedly back then head teachers were actual TEACHERS, who didn't blame class teachers for not producing miracles every day. OP, I'd say speak to your mentor, and call this child's parent every time he misbehaves.
  10. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Children of 7-8 years old are never, ever 'nasty'.
    They are entirely a product of what society has made them. Very probably most of the adults in their life are not deserving of respect.
    They are not yet old enough to decide to do the right thing and take the right path, regardless of the society in which they live and the values they are taught.

    Not singing is usually a product of worry about not being able to do so brilliantly. Encouragement works better than anything else.
    Not being able to follow a beat or play a rhythm shouldn't give a child a low effort grade.
    This is about attainment and he very possibly is just not musical. He could well be trying much harder than those who can manage. Or is acting out precisely because he can't do what you are asking.
    None of this suggests that he is 'nasty' just one very screwed up young chappie in a lesson where he can't possibly succeed.

    Explain to mum, less judgmentally than here, why he has a C grade and what needs to happen to move that grade to a B and what to move it to an A.
  11. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    I agree OP expresses a lot of ill feeling about both the kid and the parent, when in fact they are challenges of the job which can be explained and managed more dispassionately.

    Given enough gin when you get home.
  12. hiddendavid

    hiddendavid New commenter

    @caterpillartobutterfly what complete bull, some kids are utterly nasty and need dealing with.

    Its snowflakes like you that have caused the situation we are now in - behaviour is accepted in primary so the secondarys have such a problem!! naughty kids = get rid for the benefit of the rest!!

  13. hiddendavid

    hiddendavid New commenter

    carp again, snowflake, kids need to be told, challenges of the job??!!! no!! behaviour that is not acceptable needs dealing with for the sake of the other 29 or so kids!!

    natural wastage, poor behaviour = get rid and let the ones who want to do well do so!!

    [This comment/section has been removed for breaching our Community Guidelines/Terms and conditions]
    Babycakes77 and Cooperuk like this.
  14. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    @caterpillartobutterfly always a lovely unexpected treat to be recognised on here for what we really stand for, eh?
    caterpillartobutterfly and Pomza like this.
  15. drek

    drek Star commenter

    Agree with posts #6 to posts#9.
    Screwed up or Nasty........ same difference as in Potato or potahto
    you could tell the parent that one day their kid can become a star..... (crossing your fingers where they can’t see them) or convince them that a C is a fantastic starting point.... then discuss behaviour but start off with what they do well....came in looking really smart and prepared and then what happened?
    (remember the pair of teens and their ghastly parents who swore at Simon Cowles and threatened him because he said they couldn’t sing...lol)
    Simon has loads of security around him.
    Us teachers......as someone said once they are in your group....you are stuck with them....support? Comes in the form of words....about what you could do over and above the 5 hours or more a week or more you are timetabled with them....
  16. hiddendavid

    hiddendavid New commenter

    @sbkrobson 99% of staff follow the party line of ' lets do all we can to help all the lovely children'

    10% agree deep down, some just need to be removed to allow others to learn. perhaps you would feel differently if your child was in this class, get rid of the carp, allow others to flourish, stop being a bloody martyr
  17. hiddendavid

    hiddendavid New commenter

    @sbkrobson @caterpillartobutterfly some kids are naughty, some are naturally thick. remove them for the benefit of the other kids and teachers

    this is controversial but i bet 95% of staff agree, even if they are too scared to like this post
    Babycakes77, towncryer and peter12171 like this.
  18. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Not the first of its kind, but the latest, The European Human Rights Act 1998 promises in Article 2, Protocol 1 "The Right To An Education". That right is not waived vis a vis the naughty or the thick, and being a true educationalist rather than a performer with a shelf life, I'll take that on the chin.

    The naughty and the thick feature repeatedly in all age brackets, not just in schools, and I find far more sport in understanding and convening with them, than in banishing them into otherness.
  19. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    I'm not entirely convinced you have accessed my view point on behaviour, because I have not once offered one in this thread, although obviously yours is quite clear
  20. drek

    drek Star commenter

    In an ideal world that would be great. Unfortunately the 10 percent in each year group are not shared equally time allocation wise between all the teachers in a school or department.
    Which is why some teachers have no energy left but to vent at the end of repeated assaults, and others are full of genuinely great advice without having the students to apply it to...certainly not in the large numbers, groups and hours of teaching that their colleagues are doing day after day.........

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