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Best Maths related jokes

Discussion in 'Mathematics' started by Informant, Mar 31, 2011.

  1. Informant

    Informant New commenter

    e^x, sin(x) and cos(x) walk into a bar and ask for a drink. The barman says "I'm not serving you in here. The function room is upstairs"
    or subject independent...What do you call someone who continues talking when nobody else is listening?...................A teacher.
     
  2. An A-level student once said
    I'll take my mathematics to bed
    My girlfriend's not willing
    But I still want thrilling
    I'll integrate quietly, instead
     
  3. Classic. The only one that made me laugh.
     
  4. Two personal favourites.

    What do you get if you cross the circumference of a
    Jack-o-lantern by it's radius?
    Pumpkin pi.

    Why did the imaginary tree fall over?
    It didn't have any real roots.
     
  5. Actually made me laugh out loud - thanks for that.
    What about the classic
    5 out of 3 people don't understand fractions?
     
  6. "There are two cats on a roof. Which one of them slides off? The one with the smallest mu."
    "Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil".
     
  7. "Do you like statisticians? Probably"
     
  8. When they go to the function room , the party was going really well but sin x noticed that e^x had been sitting in the corner by himself for some time so he translated over and said "What's wrong, e^x ?". The Exponential looked up rather sadly and said "Well, I have tried to integrate but nothing happens; I'm just left by myself".
    And another for those of mechanical inclination...
    Did you hear about the the cat that slid off the roof because his mu was too small?

     
  9. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first goes up to the bartender and says, "I'll have a pint of lager, please." The next one says, "and I'll have half of what he's having." The bartender says, "I get the idea" and pulls two pints.
     
  10. David Getling

    David Getling Senior commenter

    In my version he worked it out in logs.

    I once heard a rather good one about little Poly Nomial getting rooted. Can anyone remember how it went?
     
  11. My favourites:
    What did zero say to eight ? Nice belt.

    A farmer talks to his sheepdog, and asks him to run down to the field and count how many sheep there are. The sheepdog runs down to the field, counts the sheep, and comes back to the farmer. "Well ?" asks the farmer. "There's 30 sheep" replies the sheep dog. "That's odd ! I only bought 28 !!", "Yeah, but I rounded them up"

    A bouncer is manning the door at a trendy nigh club, when two 6 foo, rough looking blokes approach him. The bouncer gets on his radio and informs central security that trouble may be brewing. The two men walk up to the bouncer and say, "16, 25" ... "49, 64" ... "121, 169". the bouncer is terrified and gets on his radio, "Come down quick, these two guys are squaring up to me !"
     
  12. Prove by induction that all men are bald.
    Try it.
    Let Pn be the statement that a man with n hairs is bald...
     
  13. I told this to my Further Maths group. After they stopped laughing, they all felt rather 'sad' individuals that they 'got' it. Its a telephone answering message.
    "The number you have reached is imaginary, please divide by i and try again",
    or there is the slightly more 'complex' version.
    "The number you have reached is complex, please add the imaginary part of the conjugate and try again."
     

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