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Discussion in 'Personal' started by NellyFUF, Dec 23, 2015.

  1. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Just now alone with people gone to do jobs round death and feeling low.
    MIL died unexpectedly yesterday. Well, unexpectedly for an 86 year old. She had been swimming the day before. She had a cardiac arrest at a bus stop and could not be revived although it was attempted for a good while. Best way to go, busy, active, looking forward to Christmas and then drop. But still an awful shock for everyone.
    And so we bless the NHS.
    But we are surprisingly weepy. And fragile. Waiting for kids to come home now. I suppose that will help in its way.
  2. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    A consolatory hug NellyFUF. A shock certainly, but as you so rightly surmise, ceratinly a quicker, way to go than languishing with ill health over years, which may comfort you in years to come. My dad had a similar end- had even booked a holiday the day before and collapsed and died in @20mins the next morning!
    We often used to say that was the way he'd have wanted it, as he never could cope with hospitals and illness!
    EDIT. By the by the old 'Bereavement' thread is still here, transferred to NuTes. Worth a trawl as there are some lovely thoughts/ wise advice etc when you're feeling calmer and over all that has to be done in the next few weeks. In fact didn't realise when I posted this wasn't that one! :oops:
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2015
    ShowerGel likes this.
  3. rouxx

    rouxx Lead commenter

    @NellyFUF wishing you all the very best. It is hard - still feeling my way around bereavement.
  4. eggyspice

    eggyspice Occasional commenter

    I'm sorry for your loss also, however, my parents died at 57 and 62, and I lost a sister who was 23. There is longevity in some parts of my family, but you can't rely on anything. As they say there is nothing so certain as death and taxes. No offence intended. Tale it easy.
  5. InkyP

    InkyP Star commenter

    Sorry to hear this. There is never a good time but Christmas seems particularly cruel.
  6. cuteinpuce

    cuteinpuce Star commenter

    Very sorry to hear your news, Nelly. Allow yourself to be weepy and fragile and a bit incapable of much for a while. Death knocks everyone sideways.

    Do what you can and don't worry about what you can't. xxx
    ShowerGel likes this.
  7. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Sorry to hear of your loss... hope she had a rich and wonderful life which touched the lives of many others.... best wishes and you and your family at this time.
    sabrinakat likes this.
  8. Doitforfree

    Doitforfree Star commenter

    So sorry to hear that, Nelly. And it seems especially sad at Christmas. My mum is on her last legs, barely able to eat now and I'm sure she only has a matter of days, if that, which is making for a strange run up to Christmas.
    Lara mfl 05 and ShowerGel like this.
  9. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    Sorry to hear of your loss, but hopefully the end was quick and she suffered little.
    Its never nice to receive such news but proved the point that we should enjoy life while we can.....
    i hope your heart is comforted in the days ahead and it means you are able to rejoice in the life lived rather than the life lost......try not to let it spoil Christmas.I am sure she wouldn't want you to xxxx
  10. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Ah, Nelly, how horrible. The world tilts on it's axis when things like this happen. Take care of yourself.
    ShowerGel likes this.
  11. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    So sorry. It's awful.
  12. Didactylos4

    Didactylos4 Star commenter

    All I can do is offer you one of my extremely rare on-line hugs Nelly.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  13. Motherofchikkins

    Motherofchikkins Star commenter

    Am so sorry Nelly. It's always sad when someone dies, even after a long life lived well.
    Sending virtual hugs xxx
    ShowerGel likes this.
  14. Rangdo_of_Arg

    Rangdo_of_Arg New commenter

    NellyFUF, my heart goes out to you. Unexpected death is bound to come as a shock, no matter how old the person. God bless you and keep you strong at this sad time.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  15. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    Bless you, Nellie. What a terrible shock for all of you. My dad just dropped dead, completely unexpectedly and, although there is a great sense of loss, ot is the shock which is difficult to cope with.

    Please accept my cyber hug as it's all I can do.
  16. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Very sorry to read this Nelly.
  17. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Very sorry to hear this Nelly and what a dreadful shock. I wish you all the very best in the coming days and weeks and thank you for posting.
  18. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter

    My condolences, Nelly.

    My father in law died unexpectedly just before Christmas when my children were relatively young. I still remember the shock, the arranging of a funeral then straight into 'doing Christmas' because you have to with children.

    It's still a tough time of the year for mother in law.

    Take care.
    josienig likes this.
  19. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    ActuallyIi remember reading somewhere that statistically there is a rise in the death rate in the run up to Christmas and then in the couple of weeks afterwards for those who've 'clung on to reach Christmas''!

    And yes whether one has lost them recently or earlier on Christmases with a part of the family missing are always poignant.
    ((Hug for @Doitforfree ))
    Just a warning, my mother has been 'dying' (just not generally at the 'active stage' of dying) for over a year now and for the past 6 months now- no medication and emergency pack at the ready, but somehow she still soldiers on to another day. That generation is tough! We've had 3 'emergency' call-outs but then she 'rallies' again. You can't exactly call it living. She doesn't remember that she has to swallow but with hand-feeding she is still getting nutrition.
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2015
    josienig likes this.
  20. josienig

    josienig Star commenter

    Condolences Nelly, a sudden death is a always a shock and of course you're all fragile and weepy, a loved and important member of your family has died. xx

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