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Bereavement and job interview.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by fantastischfish, May 17, 2011.

  1. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    Dear all, some advice please,

    I suffered a beareavement last night, it's still very raw and painful, and a huge shock as I was the one who found him. I'm trying to pull it together because I have a job interview today, but i just know I'm going to look like some scary-eyed lunatic. I want to go to the interview, but am worried it might be too much. So my question, would you mention anything in a quiet aside at the start of the day? Not as a way of requesting special treatment, but just as a way of letting them know I'm not on top form and maybe need a bit of time out during the day? Not sure on the done thing here. should i say nothing and just withdraw if necessary if it's too much? Can anyone advise?
     
  2. Talk to them. If they are worth working for, surely, they will allow you to be interviewed at a later date.


     
  3. Personally, I would mention it, as you said, in a quiet aside. It may not affect their decision or mitigate it in your favour, but in my opinion it's something they ought to know. That is just my opinion though, i'm not an expert on recruitment! Best of luck, it can't be an easy decision to make
     
  4. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    Sorry to hear that Eva.
    I agree with other posts about mentioning it quietly. They should know about something like that which will affect your performance. You must have had no sleep not to mention the grief and shock (((Eva))).
     
  5. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    Thanks for the advice. My worry at the moment is that I keep bursting into floods of tears. In a normal interview in another job where you turn up for maybe an hour at the most, I'd probably be able to hold it together, but over the course of a long and challenging day....

    I think at the least, they'd understand if I left straight after the interviews finished and didn't wait around for a decision - perhaps they could phone me later to let me know.
    You're right, I've had very little sleep since getting into bed at about 11pm shaking with shock and feeling sick to my stomach. Woke up at 2am, then dozed on and off. My eyes are swollen and I look a right mess.
    I'll definitely ask for a quiet aside once I get there to let them know.
     
  6. I am very sorry to hear that Eva.
    I asked Mr C as he used to work in recruitment, and he said to mention it quietly to the interviewer before you start but also if you think you can't hold it together it would be better to postpone the interview if possible. Sorry, this is a man talking....not me!
    I wish you luck with the interview and send you a hug.
    C x
     
  7. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    I think it is taking you a great deal of courage to go and the interviewers will respect that. A quiet word should be all thats needed. I hope they manage to see your potential despite how you must be feeling. Best of Luck & a big hug xx
     
  8. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    I got here too late to advise Eva, so I hope it's been bearable for her and gone well.
    If I were interviewing a candidate in her position, I'd want them to let me know at the start of the day - if a person is suffering grief, allowances need to be made for their (potential) demeanour AND performance. It's basic human kindness - and she might be the best candidate, so I'd want to ensure I didn't let her slip through the net.
     
  9. Have to agree with Mr Cosmos.
    Eva, how on earth will you get through an interview today??? Could it work in your favour if you cannot operate properly today, in front of strangers, when you really do have to be on top form?
    I'd phone the school and see how sympathetic the response is.That should tell you whether you'd want to work there or not.... Postpone, if possible.
    Hope you are feeling a bit more composed soon. You've had an awful shock x x
     
  10. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    However harsh it sounds I wonder if they would agree to postpone. I think they might not.
    I do hope you cope, whether it is either carrying on or withdrawing. I also hope there are people around you to support you when the interview issue is over. Best wishes.
     
  11. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    Thank you for all the advice. I followed said advice and asked for a quiet word with the head of department at the beginning of the day. It was difficult to explain without bursting into floods but she was very sympathetic and understanding. At the formal panel interview, the headteacher had been notified of my situation and he was kind enough to talk to me 'off the record' before the interview to say that should I need a few minutes to gather myself at any point, that would be fine. Moreover, he said that if I did feel I was going to cry I wouldn't be the first to do so in his office and this wouldn't be counted against me.
    I left after panel interview and awaiting word about a decision. I think my lesson and the 'social' bits went well (meeting department etc) but how I did at panel is anyone's guess. I know I wasn't as quick to answer as I perhaps could have been, although I did hold it together for the duration. I held together until I got to my car.....floodgates. I hope no-one was watching from a window.
    I'll let you know later how I got on.
     
  12. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    We'll be keeping our fingers crossed for you x
     
  13. I think you have been extraordinarily brave Eva and I hope all goes well for you
    Cx
     
  14. I've been thinking of you all day, Eva. I agree that you've been incredibly brave. I have everything crossed for you!
     
  15. I second the previous two posters.
    You have indeed been very brave and I hope you get the news you're hoping for.
     
  16. scilab

    scilab New commenter

    Sounds like a very tough day all round for you. It sounds as if you did really well at holding it all together. Bet you feel absolutely shattered now. Be kind to yourself now
     
  17. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Eva, I am totally astounded, I could never have done what you have done . . . . .I would have either asked for a postponement or would have cancelled the interview. I think you are incredibly strong for managing to attend. Wow!!!! [​IMG]

     
  18. fantastischfish

    fantastischfish Established commenter

    Thank you everyone for your kind words.
    I was offered the job and have accepted. I can't believe that my performance was worthy of the feedback I got, but I'm very pleased. I'm usre that once the shock and grief have calmed down a little, I will celebrate with a bit more enthusiasm.

    Thanks again
    Eva x x x
     
  19. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    That's amazing. Well done woman!!!!!!!!!
    Take it easy now, until the energy levels start to balance out. What a roller coaster of emotions the last while must have been for you. I hope there is someone close to you who, at this moment in time, is feeling incredibly proud of you!
     
  20. dominant_tonic

    dominant_tonic Established commenter

    Amazing news - well done Eva. I only read the thread this afternoon, so didn't comment before, not that I could have been any help anyway. :-/
    Anyway, I am sorry for your loss, but really pleased for you that you got the job. Well done again xx
     

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