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Being told you're "harsh"...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by miss_ellie, Jan 8, 2012.

  1. Sorry, I'm not really sure whether I'm after advice or just feel the need to vent. Do feel free to ignore!
    My mum, this weekend, told me I had become a "harsh person" as well as being "harsh on myself". Obviously I'm not as harsh as all that, as I was massively upset by being told that!
    Her reasoning was: I get too stressed; I refuse to ask for help; I get defensive; I turn down offers of help because I feel that people feel obligated to help me, whereas they actually offer because they wish to help.
    My reasons for being, I readily admit, a grumpy mare at the time (!): I invited someone round on Friday, who left later than planned which meant I was tired for....: a Saturday spent visiting relatives for 'lunch' which lasted 8 hours (I was meant to be getting my planning sortedfor next week aftr lunch!; having to make an unplanned stop over and then leave my car so it could be fixed as it has randomly become legally undrivable...
    I know I was grumpy - I admitted so, said I needed a little grump and apologised the next day. Being told that I was "far too stressed" and needed to "learn how to cope" really ****ed my off.
    Grr!
     
  2. Sorry, I'm not really sure whether I'm after advice or just feel the need to vent. Do feel free to ignore!
    My mum, this weekend, told me I had become a "harsh person" as well as being "harsh on myself". Obviously I'm not as harsh as all that, as I was massively upset by being told that!
    Her reasoning was: I get too stressed; I refuse to ask for help; I get defensive; I turn down offers of help because I feel that people feel obligated to help me, whereas they actually offer because they wish to help.
    My reasons for being, I readily admit, a grumpy mare at the time (!): I invited someone round on Friday, who left later than planned which meant I was tired for....: a Saturday spent visiting relatives for 'lunch' which lasted 8 hours (I was meant to be getting my planning sortedfor next week aftr lunch!; having to make an unplanned stop over and then leave my car so it could be fixed as it has randomly become legally undrivable...
    I know I was grumpy - I admitted so, said I needed a little grump and apologised the next day. Being told that I was "far too stressed" and needed to "learn how to cope" really ****ed my off.
    Grr!
     
  3. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    I've been called a lot worse!

    Substitute 'harsh' for 'independent' and wear with pride.
     
  4. [​IMG]

    Thank you
     
  5. I'd have been more than 'harsh', I'd have been incandescent!!
    Maybe you need to learn to ask for help a little more (if you think it really is on offer with no strings attached).
    I am guessing a hug and a smile from your mum might have been a little more productive but mums are only human too.
    You've apologised for your grumpiness-case closed! Stop thinking about it now. If you are anything like me you'll have been chewing this over like a dog with a bone. It's unproductive and a waste of time and will only make you grumpy![​IMG]
     
  6. Nanny Ogg

    Nanny Ogg New commenter

    When the kids call you 'well harsh' you know you've achieved something.
    Unfortunately families don't realise that planning can take a long time and that weekends tend to be for that unless you are super organised. (Which I aspire to but will probably never achieve)
     

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