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Behaviour Query--Girl who does not like to be praised!

Discussion in 'Early Years' started by breadmaker, Mar 31, 2011.

  1. breadmaker

    breadmaker New commenter

    some children have such low self-esteen that they can't cope with praise as it makes them feel threatened and insecure, so much so that they will often behave extremely rudely/badly after praise to ensure they get a reaction that they csan cope with as this makes them feel safe. Best way to deal with this is to praise quietly and not in public so thhat the child can lbegin to learn to deal with praise without it being threatening. Good luck
     
  2. Any success with your child? Would love to know if the food and stuff worked for her. It did with my one so I'm hoping for some good feedback!
    Liz
     
  3. Hi
    Thanks for wanting to know how she has been doing. She is alot better than she was. Theres no more hiding her cardigan and spending ages looking for it, she's much better with the other children (with the occasional push/shove) and when I do praise her she responds with the biggest smile ever :) Today I set a challenge at fruit time to try and peel the orange skin off in one piece, she did it and was eager to show everyone how she did it. I honestly dont know what made the change come about, I use a princess book, this book goes home to her mum and dad. I put everything good that she does in the book, and I refer to it throughout the day "Wow I love how you're helping x I'm going to right that down in your book"She used to take ages to get ready for PE and now shes the first and always eager to take part. I do think it all stems from lack of self esteem as she recently told me she's "fat with a big belly" :( I find it so sad that children are so self concious at that age, (but thats a seperate thread). So primarily thats been my main focus.
    Hope this was helpful but feel free to ask me anything else
    Thanks
    x
     
  4. Some people don't like praise because they find it patronising. Children can have an instinct for this too. They know when it's not genuine admiration but simply an adult being pleased because you've done what they want. We use praise to manipulate (not necessarily a bad thing). Some children sense the manipulation and resent it.
     

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