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Badly behaved pupil using parent complaints to get back at me.

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by casper, Mar 21, 2012.

  1. casper

    casper New commenter

    A pupil who h as caused considerable problems over the past few years has now got a parent to write and complain about me. I have had little support over this matter, I have logged behaviour. Now I have to be subjected to a meeting with the Head which is minuted. \not only that this pupil has got a friend to do the same. I feel very stressed and depressed by this. This pupil has shouted things at me around school. I have ignored what I can. This has been observed by other staff. Even her friends have commented to me that they feel she is being really unpleasant. Advice please. i have no ikdea what the letter says. Thank you.

    I have posted this on behaviour as well.

    This is affecting my well being , but no one seems to put any staff in any priority.

    Please help.

    Thank you
     
  2. casper

    casper New commenter

    A pupil who h as caused considerable problems over the past few years has now got a parent to write and complain about me. I have had little support over this matter, I have logged behaviour. Now I have to be subjected to a meeting with the Head which is minuted. \not only that this pupil has got a friend to do the same. I feel very stressed and depressed by this. This pupil has shouted things at me around school. I have ignored what I can. This has been observed by other staff. Even her friends have commented to me that they feel she is being really unpleasant. Advice please. i have no ikdea what the letter says. Thank you.

    I have posted this on behaviour as well.

    This is affecting my well being , but no one seems to put any staff in any priority.

    Please help.

    Thank you
     
  3. Georgia99

    Georgia99 New commenter

    This is shocking and the school should be supporting you. You need to report incidences when students shout at you as this is verbal abuse and the student should be sanctioned. If the school are not taking action against students who verbally abuse teachers then you need to speak to your union and get some advice as it is unacceptable.
    I can relate your situation. I have a female student who has proved very difficult. She has made my life hell in lessons and has sworn at me several times. Each time I arrange for a member of SLT to come and collect her from my lesson and she then receives internal exclusion. She even got her mum to come in because she said I was 'picking' on her but the school supported me and luckily I have a TA who I could use as back up to support my version of events. This seems to have caused further problems as yesterday another student in the same class threw a calculator at me, which hit me on the head. He has been internally excluded for one day and returns to my classes as normal tomorrow which I am most unhappy with.
    I hope you can sort things out but don't allow the student to do this to you. They are having their parent come in as a way of deflecting from their own misbehaviour and as a way to continue their poor treatment towards you. Please speak to your union if the school do not support you.
     
  4. You need to bring someone to this meeting with you.
    You should ask to read the complaint before the meeting.
    Take a deep breath and read it calmly.
    Refute anything that is clearly false.
    Explain anything that can be caused by a misunderstanding.
    Put forward all your concerns that you have already logged about the student.
    Show that you are completely willing to be the mature person in the situation and have looked at ways to solve matters.
    Ask that the student should be required to accept normal sanctions when their behaviour is clearly wrong.
    Anything in the complaint that is completely inexplicable may need further consideration/explanation before you give a reply.
    request to add an addendum to the minutes if need be.
    Keep the minutes, keep your head, stay calm and carry on.
     
  5. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Make yourself some notes of dates/types of inappropriate behaviour, and go into the meeting well-prepared.
    May I recommend that you have a union rep accompany you? From outside, not a school rep. You need an independent and unbiased witness. They can also take minutes for you.
    I hope your school support you properly, but it is not unheard of for the SMT recall of events to be a little different from your own. Sorry to sound jaundiced....
     
  6. chriszwinter1

    chriszwinter1 New commenter

    I think this is a matter for the police. Just think what would have happened if you'd thrown the calculator at him. That thug should never be in the school again, let alone your lesson.
    And "internally excluded" is just weak. I was at a school where the head tried to camouflage the problems with "seclusion, which is a very serious sanction, colleagues, and will be on a student's record". It was his way of pretending to his governors and the authority that because exclusions were down his behaviour policy was effective. He actually kidded no one but himself.
     
  7. chriszwinter1

    chriszwinter1 New commenter

    Your head it gutless. As has been said, do not go to that meeting alone.
     

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