My mum died suddenly and unexpectedly 3 weeks ago. I work in an international school in Asia so had to fly home in an emergency- school have been great, my husband and children also at the school came too and we've been off just under 3 weeks, which I know is generous. We are now back but I will not be paid from this point unless I return to work next week. I don't really want to get signed off but I am very much not ready to stand infront of a class or care at all about the pettiness of school. I'm feeling very anxious (on meds) and socially introverted. I could cope with doing admin or the like but the people side of the job horrifies me right now. I found out about my mum via text message whilst teaching and collapsed in the lesson,had to be carried by my husband to the nearest office. I just don't know how to cope with being physically back in that classroom let alone teach that particular class who saw me break down. I'm normally a very honest, open teacher (English) and love discussing difficult subjects and literature but I don't trust myself not to cry. My mum was a teacher too and I often choose to teach texts that we had a mutual passion for, many of the texts I am teaching this year will remind me of her. How has anyone else coped with returning to work after the death of a close family member?