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'Baby Shower' etiquette?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by onmyknees, Jan 26, 2016.

  1. onmyknees

    onmyknees Established commenter

    I fine myself having to attend a baby shower in a couple of months. It's strikes me as another unnecessary Americanism that has come our way , but I'm old and cynical!
    Anyway, what I'm not sure about is the gift etiquette. Do you take a gift for the mum-to-be to the baby shower and then a gift for the baby once it's arrived safely? Or is it any other combination?
  2. lattedrinker

    lattedrinker New commenter

    Hmm, I'm like you, don't really like the idea of baby showers. But if I had to go to one, I'd take a gift for the baby. I wouldn't buy a second gift.
  3. josienig

    josienig Star commenter

    I've never been to a baby shower and I also don't know if I like the idea. @onmyknees I'd bring as neutral a gift as possible..I got a 'bum balm' lotion in TK Maxx recently for a friend who is expecting her 1st child. It's from a reputable brand but I loved the silly name. I'll give it as part of the baby's gift once he/she is born.
    I'm quite uncomfortable with the fact that they've chosen the name and use that name when talking about the baby.. It's probably my traditional/ latent superstitious mindset. Not so long ago people would bring as little baby paraphernalia as possible into the home before the birth, not to mind definitely naming the baby.
    Is it just me who feels like this?
    * I'm not a parent, maybe that colours my judgement ;)
  4. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    'Baby in the shower'? They always cry when the water gets in their eyes.:D

    Baths are much better, in my experience.
  5. cuteinpuce

    cuteinpuce Star commenter

    My preference would be something pretty but practical as a gift for the baby and something small but luxurious as a gift for mum-to-be; both taken to the baby shower.
  6. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    For each of my three I spent nine months in trepidation in case something went wrong.
    Birth day was a time to count fingers and toes and so on. The third child took some time to get breathing while the second was getting a full blood transfusion within a few hours. Everything was fine in both cases.
    The first born peed, bled and leaked on my good Boss Jacket and continued to be the most expensive of the three up to the present.
    My nerves couldn't have coped with another so I understand what Gary Lineker might be feeling.
  7. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    Another selfish old geezer who fancied a young girl but didn't want a child with her.

    As for baby showers, they seem to me like a form of very undignified begging.
    Middlemarch, aspensquiver_2 and InkyP like this.
  8. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Probably, but one run-in with Leukaemia might have had an effect.
  9. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    I believe it was his first son who had leukaemia and he went on to have three more with his first wife.
    aspensquiver_2 likes this.
  10. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    I've never been to one and don't know anyone personally who has had one.

    I did know of an ex colleague, who's son's girlfriend had the most over the top 'celebration' with 'fun' games and an ostentatious display of gifts. Tacky and grabby IMO.

    If you have to take something, I'd go with a gift card for either the baby or the mother.
  11. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

    I'd get something for the mum. Something a bit pamper-y. After all, she's going to be a sleep-deprived shell of her former self in a few months time. ;-)
  12. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Surely you wouldn't go far wrong if you gave them a really small umbrella?
    marlin, grumpydogwoman and nomad like this.
  13. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    But don't you think the idea of specifically inviting people to an event, just in order to get them to bring gifts, isn't very polite?
    catmother and grumpydogwoman like this.
  14. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I wouldn't go.

    That's putting it mildly, I'd say.

    Not very polite? Downright greedy, grasping and out of order.

    Two words. The second is OFF.
    catmother likes this.
  15. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    It seems to work OK for the charity shops round our way, and is more dignified than begging in the street.
  16. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    What event do they invite you to?
  17. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    Is it not like a hen night where a friend organises it as a surprise - so it's not the mum who is demanding gifts.
    coffeekid likes this.
  18. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    They have big notices in their front windows every day saying 'Donations needed urgently', so sometimes I attend and donate. Maybe the baby shower posse should consider that.
  19. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

    Oh, come on. Like Flere says, it's not the mum-to-be who organises it. And if people feel the same as you, like you they won't go. I had one - organised by a friend despite my protestations. Everyone came, everyone was fed lovely food and as far as I know, nobody was harbouring resentful feelings towards me or the event. :- )
    Noja likes this.
  20. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Maybe buy something from the charity shop for the baby shower? Kill two birds.

    Shower? The cynic in me assumes it's 'showering with gifts'. Tell me I'm wrong.
    magic surf bus likes this.

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