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Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by missrain, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. Yes definately, mixed emotions come waving through which cannot be explained. Im happy for all if them, but theres just that big bubble of sadness which doesnt ease. Sending a big hug to you both. x
  2. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    Yes, I'm 31 and single and it is really hard.
    Everyone insists that I will meet someone but I'm not so sure! x
  3. But they have to deal with:
    Pretending it is the most beautiful thing ever, when really it looks like something that came out of the Star Trek Monster dept.
    Constant panic for 18 years (well, forever really, but we'll start there)
    Constant vomit over their clothes
    Sleepless nights - either through screaming/crying baby and/or the lying awake thinking 'can I still hear it breathing? Is it breathing? OMG I think its stopped breathing!!! OMG IT HAS.......oh, no, there is goes.Phew.' Rinse and repeat all night.
    NO money at all. Ever.
    The constant guilt - if you work you are a sh*te uncaring mother, if you don't you smother them, if you feed them puree celariac you are giving them an allegy, if you don't, you aren't giving them enough Vitamin F7 or something.....
    No last minute anythings anymore (getting out of the house with a baby? Military operation mate)
    Stretch marks
    Saggy boobs
    Becoming an utter idiot going 'omg! Did you see that?! - She just SMILED!' - yes we did. Its not that amazing. Its a few muscles moving in her face. Get back to me when she can solve The Mystery of Dark Matter problem.
    Paying a stupid amount of money for something that the child will have grown out of in about 3 weeks.
    No booze for 9 months, and then for however long you breast feed for. Ditto (soft?) cheese, shellfish etc etc

    Get a kitten or puppy instead - much better :)

    (And yes, I know the sadness myself, so I'm just trying to help in a flippant way, I know my kittens aren't a baby, but they actually aren't too far off I think with the unconditional love I feel for them. Very sad really (me that is lol)).
  4. Mrs_Frog

    Mrs_Frog New commenter

    I have not had this situation in work, but I have with my friends. There was a time, not too long ago, when the vast majority of my friends were having at least first and some second babies. The conversations were all about the babies, birth, breastfeeding and how hubby was. I was single, and am also older than them, although only by a year or 2. It was very isolating, and although they did not mean it, they were excluding me from pretty much everything. The crux came when 2 of us (mate was also single) ended up going out for beverages, we were supposed to be going out as a large group, but there one of the marrieds had baby sitting issues from her husband, and the child had to be looked after, so night out was cancelled and we went to another friends house. Myself and single mate had been looking forward to a good girly night for ages, but it was not meant to be. Ended up in a few home truths (on all sides) coming out, not in the best way, but it cleared the air. We all accepted that things change, but that there are other people in the world other than the babies.
    Don't get me wrong, I love listening to how the babies are getting on and everything that goes on with it, but sometimes, I would like my friends back. That is all sorted now, and I have had to accept that although I would love be in their position, I am not. I am still insanely jealous about it, but that is not going to change things.
    (My personal situation has changed since this, but still no husband/babies)
    If you are able to explain the situation to the people who care about you, they will understand.
    B x
  5. Mrs_Frog

    Mrs_Frog New commenter

    I realise that this was a bit of jumble, it was a confusing time for my friends and myself, with one thing and another. If it comes across as flippant, you do have my apologies.
    B x
  6. I took it the way it was intended HappyPixie - I fully understand the point you reach where you either laugh at your situation or collapse into a sobbing heap about it - I always tended to the humourous side of it as well (although I did go through a phase of wishing utterly evil piles on any pregnant woman... hey, it got me through it and the pile-wishing was done silently and word of it never reached the lady's ears - and if people wish the same on me now I stand a chance of getting there - I'll fully understand why)!
  7. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    I read happy pixies post and agreed with the sentiment. People deal with it in their own way.

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