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Babies of 2012

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by lovesmyfamily, May 11, 2012.

  1. Hi all,
    Having just had my LO 9 days ago I thought it would be a good idea to start a group where all us mummies can ask for help, get tips and just generally share our experiences of bringing up a baby :)
    I know a few of you will recognise me from the spring babies of 2012 so hopefully I will meet other new mummies from the winter 2011/2012, summer 2012, Autumn 2012 and winter 2012/2013!
    Look forward to getting lots of tips, advice and a general chit chat!
    xx
     
  2. Hi all,
    Having just had my LO 9 days ago I thought it would be a good idea to start a group where all us mummies can ask for help, get tips and just generally share our experiences of bringing up a baby :)
    I know a few of you will recognise me from the spring babies of 2012 so hopefully I will meet other new mummies from the winter 2011/2012, summer 2012, Autumn 2012 and winter 2012/2013!
    Look forward to getting lots of tips, advice and a general chit chat!
    xx
     
  3. naomi58

    naomi58 New commenter

    Hello! I've made the move over! X x
     
  4. Wooooooooo I feel as if I've been. promoted! Can't believe all the Spring babies have arrived. I'm doing well, our wee boy is doing great, eats and sleeps well. I'm in a lot of pain from section. Didn't hurt until midwife came and removed my dressing yesterday and now it really hurts. Had a good cry yesterday regarding breast feeding. Midwife said my milk had dried up and unlikely he'll ever take to breast. I tried and tried in hospital and he would latch on but not suck. In the end we had to put him on a bottle. I've managed to hand express colostrum and a tiny bit of milk by hand and feed baby it. Tried a breast pump but got nothing. Feel devastated and as if I've let baby down. Xx
     
  5. Coolgiraffe

    Coolgiraffe Occasional commenter

    Nooo! Shelia you haven't let him down at all. For a lot of women breastfeeding just doesn't work out. And to be honest, you can't breastfeed forever anyway!
    Your little boy will thrive however you feed him and now he's got a bottle other people can help you to feed.
    Breastfeeding problems do cause a lot of tears, that's normal so don't worry. Breast pumps are notorious for not getting much out. If you can still get a bit out hand expressing will work better, if not just give him formula all the time.
    I'm still combi feeding 11 weeks on but not breastfeeding successfully - she still only suckles for about 5-10 mins before coming off and crying for a bottle full of formula.
    Your little boy won't benefit from an unhappy mummy who struggles to pump milk out all the hours of the day anyway. Give him all the formula he needs and enjoy your little boy growing like you won't believe!!!
    xxxx
     
  6. chocolateheaven

    chocolateheaven New commenter

    Sheila, I had to jump on and highjack thread after reading your post. I don't know how old your LO is now, but it sounds fairly recent, so I think it's too early to say he won't ever take the breast. Firstly, if you are ok about ff then it's a wonderful invention and your LO will thrive on it. This is by no means a formula-bashing post, without it my LO would be dead! However, I had lactation failure and found it incredibly hard to deal with. Repeatedly hearing "oh, she'll be fine on formula" and "now other people can feed so you can get a break" didn't help at all. For me, being told those things made me feel worse. I didn't want someone else to feed her - that was my job. So much so that I created a problem for myself and at 8 months old she refuses to take a bottle from anyone but me! I just wanted to post to say that if you really want to feed then it's not too late, especially if you're still within a fortnight of your last feed.
    Everyone knows that a c-sec delays your milk coming in, but did you know that diabetes does too? I certainly didn't and it came as a real shock to me that diabetics often don't get their milk in until day 5 or 6. That fact masked my lactation failure, as it was put down to my diabetes at first. Those two facts combined will have made it more difficult for you to get a good start, meaning that getting LO to latch and suck could have been harder. If you want to keep trying, then access the local support available - La Leche League, or other groups, breastfeeding cafes... support in the community is SO much better than in hospital ime. Also, google Medela Supplemental Nursing Systems. It's a way of getting baby formula whilst also stimulating your own milk supply - it minimises the risk of boob refusal, and means that feeding the formula doesn't actually stop them suckling, which is the best way to stimulate milk. We used one for the first 6 weeks until we knew that bfing was well established, and it really saved us. There are also things that you can take to boost supply - Fenugreek (10 tablets a day, Holland and Barratt sell pots of 100), or get a prescription for Domperidone from your GP. Both boost prolactin levels and lead to increased lactation.
    I went on to feed for 6 months at every feed, before she had her bottle. After months and months of trying to build up some kind of supply, we finally reached a point where she was getting approximately 2-3oz a feed from me, after feeding at both breasts. She then had a bottle afterwards. When weaned, she lost interest in the boob and started refusing during the day, so we cut back to morning, evening and overnight. At 7 months she started refusing those too and I gave in to the inevitable. I'm incredibly proud to have got as far as we did given the problems that we had and the fact that I had very little milk.
    As for pumping, we hired a hospital grade electric pump for 2 months and despite spending 5hrs a day/night plugged into it in various sittings I never got more than a few drops. I knew I had some milk there (more than a couple of droplets at least!) yet I just couldn't get it off. Don't be disheartened by it, it's not an indicator of how much milk you have.
    My (rather rambling) post is intended to say - if you are ok switching to formula then do and don't beat yourself up. Having a new baby is tough, and breastfeeding is SO much harder with so many different obstacles in the way than I ever foresaw. However, if you feel that you need to try something else, then do. I had to keep going, had to exhaust every possible avenue. Even knowing that I'd done everything I still cried daily for months, and still cry at least once a week about it now. Some people aren't that fussed either way, some are. For me, it felt like an intrinsic part of being a mother. It hit me hard. 8 months down the line, I feel less guilty for my LO now. She is thriving on the formula and I don't feel (so much) like I failed her anymore. My sadness is largely for me now (selfish, I know). I dreamt of bf for all of my life, it was hugely important to me. I hope so much that I will make milk next time. My darling, beautiful, bright, healthy little girl is wonderful and developing beautifully, regardless of how I had to feed her.
    There are lots of things you can do you build up milk supply, and if you want to talk more about it then please pm me.
    Finally, (and so sorry for such a long post!) I hope you don't feel like I'm pressuring you either way. I am certainly no lactavist (I might have been, had I not experienced what I have and had I still believed the bullsh*t spouted about how everyone can bf). I honestly think that the best decision to make is the one that will make you the happiest. That's all that matters to your LO in the end. xxx
     
  7. naomi58

    naomi58 New commenter

    Sheila - your experience of breastfeeding is very similar to mine. At nearly 5 weeks, my lo has been exclusively formula fed for 3 weeks. I cried and cried and felt like a failure about it. Now I can rationalise it and this is what I think...have you ever had to fill out a form and tick a box to say whether or not you were breastfed? Have you ever been on an interview and it's been one of the questions? Have you ever dumped someone because they weren't breastfed? Can you spot someone in the street who wasn't breastfed? Will your child ever use it against you in an argument about doing their homework? Doubt it! Doubt it! Doubt it! We all know breast is best, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not the be all and end all! If my lo ever asks, I'll be able to tell her I tried my best, but it wasn't to be! X x
     
  8. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I don't have a 2012 baby, but my daughter is 1 tomorrow (well, today technically since it's after 1am now) and I also have a nearly 3 year old son.
    It takes it all back hearing your BF stories as I had real issues BF both of mine and managed to mix feed for 10/11 weeks before fully formula feeding. My son lost nearly 30% of his birth weight so I was advised to formula feed, and not given any BF support at all. He just wasn't interested in feeding, but was happy with a bottle. He's 3 in June, and still isn'ta fan of eating really! So don't believe people when they say a formula fed baby is likely to be bigger. My son is the height of some 4 year olds and is very slim (under 75th centile for weight, in the 90s for height). He's doing really well developmentally and always hit his milestones just before average.
    My daughter was the opposite and fed, fed, fed. I couldn't move from my feeding spot for more than about 2 minutes before she's scream for me. With a 22 month to look after too this was pretty tough! I tried everything, even took domperidone, and it just wasn't working so i had to mix feed, and then at 11 weeks she just decided she didn't want to BF anymore. She's also doing really well, so I know I haven't done her any harm.
    I do feel very disappointed that I failed to exclusively BF my children, but it's only a small part of their lives and there are so many other ways you can be a fantastic parent. I take pride in the fact that neither of mine ate food from jars for example.
    Now they are both above an age i would've BF had I been successful, I find it easier to let it go. I look back and wish I hadn't been so stressed and upset about it at the time, because i'm sure i would've enjoyed them both more in those newborn days if i'd been more relaxed. It seems sad that i spent so long in tears, and so long attached to that medela swing!!
     
  9. sabby81

    sabby81 New commenter

    Great idea to move us over here Sheila!! Don't worry about bf-I pumped and pumped for days to only get a drop (Tommee tippee electric pump). Once after pumping for 2 hours and collecting approx 5ml, I spilt it then another time my gorgeous little man threw it all up!!! We've been on cow&gate since day one. My midwife and health visitor both told me although it's against what they're supposed to say, its no use spending all my time pumping an getting no result. Look at our thread of approx 15 ladies-loads of us are having the same issues... We can't be the only ones! My little man is 17 days old :) xxx getting more gorgeous and cheeky by the day xxx
     
  10. sabby81

    sabby81 New commenter

    Great idea to move us over here Sheila!! Don't worry about bf-I pumped and pumped for days to only get a drop (Tommee tippee electric pump). Once after pumping for 2 hours and collecting approx 5ml, I spilt it then another time my gorgeous little man threw it all up!!! We've been on cow&gate since day one. My midwife and health visitor both told me although it's against what they're supposed to say, its no use spending all my time pumping an getting no result. Look at our thread of approx 15 ladies-loads of us are having the same issues... We can't be the only ones! My little man is 17 days old :) xxx getting more gorgeous and cheeky by the day xxxL
     
  11. Sheila - you did what you could - and yes I "failed" too... I'm losing my supply despite pumping for the last month and a bit (she was a premature summer 2012 baby and wouldn't latch - still can't... someone suggested to me she should have been checked at the hospital for tongue tie the other day and I know for a fact she wasn't because they had no tongue depressers on the entire maternity ward when the doc went to do it so it never got done) and I feel like **** over it - I've done over a month exclusively expressing and then mixed feeding and my breast pump's on the blink, I'm tied to the house for the need to constantly pump and she needs a mum more than a dairy cow - so now I'm dropping the pumps to kill what remaining supply I have left (I also don't want to be constantly running for domperidone - which did work for me - prescriptions - I don't like taking tablets unnecessarily).
    Still feel guilty and ashamed when I have to get a bottle out in public though and it's a wrong world we live in when we end up feeling like that (hell somone on here told me to storm in, discharge my premature, still being nose tube fed daughter and take her home - as the breast milk - that she couldn't access - would cure all her problems).
    In my case though - absolutely nothing to do with her being born or her early days went to plan - breastfeeding's just on the end of that list.
    I know there was at least one more unexpectedly early summer 2012 arrival - I jumped in there rather than being the last one to pop on the spring thread anyway - then she came 7 weeks early so I've kind of been rattling around in limbo till other people had their babies! Baby incidentally is doing fine, is now in newborn sized clothes at 1 month, up to 5lb 9 (she was 4lb 15 when born) and we've been out of hospital 3 weeks.
     
  12. chocolateheaven

    chocolateheaven New commenter

    It's not routinely checked for in hospitals anymore, under current policy. Only checked for on request of mother x
     
  13. Doc was literally about to check her, but couldn't find a tongue ice cream stick thing anywhere on the ward so it went by the by
     
  14. Oooooh how exciting I just qualify as my 2nd beautiful daughter was born 10.1.12. My first daughter turned 3 last month so it will make me feel like a new mummy with 7 whole months of new arrivals to look forward to! I am a double breastfeeding failure so lots of experience with that. Very very upset after my first was born, lots of guilt and felt like I could not have relationship with baby I wanted. This time I feel much more accepting and whisper (quite like formula feeding if I am absolutely honest) but it is hard and I found some people were very dismissive of how I felt which made me feel that I was just ungrateful for what I had and a bad person. We are currently still not in a particularly set routine and baby is still doing different things every day.... Surely by 4 months she should be settling???
     
  15. How lovely so many of us alreayd here!!!
    I have to mimic what 95% of you have already said - that breastfeeding was not working out for me either she would suckle for 45 minutes off both breasts and still be hungry!!!!
    I now express 3 times a day from both breasts (getting around 3-4oz each time) and this is then fed 1-2 times a day by bottle as she wants around 5ozs per feed only 5 x times a day so instead of feeding little and often she likes to gulp more and less often which is fine by me as she went for 6 hours last night without waking!!! The rest of the time I feed her formula I feel like my body is not living up to expectations of everyone but I just keep looking at her and think at least she gets a stress free mummy who can spend more time with her :)
    Just go by them I would usually say by 6 months there is a set routine but even then not every child likes to obey them! As long as your both happy and she is doing well I wouldn't worry :)
    On the plus side baby got weighed today and she is now 7lb 9 1/2oz (7lb 7oz at birth) so doing very well :) she is 10 days old today :)
    Looking forward to meeting more mummies!
    Vikki & baby Emma (10 days)
     
  16. hi all,
    can i join u? i am a long time reader, but mainly lurk.
    i had my baby on 11.4.12, at 38 weeks by c section as he was breech. baby was a wonderful surprise for us as we have been married for almost 10 years. We had all but given up on having children following a number of mc s years ago.
    he is now a month and 3 days, i cannot believe how fast time has gone. My days are filed with feeding, changing nappy s and driving myself insane reading forums !!
    Looking forward to chatting to others with babies in the same age range :)
     

  17. what a nice surprise, mad76!
    Brettgirl2, we are the same - not much of a pattern with feeding - sometimes every three, four or two and a half hours in between feeds. We are expereiencing much more settled evenings - l;ast feed at 7 and that does him until about 1am, then today he woke up at 6.30, self settled back to sleep to wake up hungry at 8 - so nice to get a stretch of good sleep.
    Still haven;t made the move of putting him up to bed at this bedtime though. he is far too big for the moses basket and is beginning to look a bit squashed in there so it's really time to move into the crib (also looking a bit snug) for all sleeps. I'm dreading moving his big bro out of the cot and into his new bed and room - ithink he will be climbing out of bed and wrecking the place!

     
  18. mad76 sounds very like us (my girl's a month and four days) - we'd went through four years of trying to get pregnant, a year where miscarriages hit us repeatedly, then another year of very screwy cycles after the last mc... and I remember driving around one roundabout in particular thinking "I AM going to have either a baby or a bump for X's wedding cos we're going to give it one last shot and nail this thing"... concieved that month and it stuck and she'll be 4 months old for the wedding. OK, so technically she should be 3 and nearer 2 1/2 months but she jumped the gun a bit and arrived early - but made it!
     
  19. Wow thank you girlies for all your kind words regarding breast feeding. Its nice to hear others have found it difficult and I'm not the only one. As at times this week ive felt that everyone else can breastfeed and I can't, silly I know. I'm going to keep trying to hand express, see if anything comes out and if it does great and if nor then that's fine. It's lovely to be able to chat to other mummies, thank you! X
     
  20. No one tells you how hard bfeeding is when you're pregnant do they?! i really struggled too.
    Mister Flibble, regarding possible tongue tie, maybe your GP could check when you have your 6 week check? Our little girl was found to have one the day she was being discharged from hospital (she was 4 weeks old) and it was 'snipped' there and then. it can apparently have implications for speech later if untreated and as you know can affect feeding as well. it was a very smple procedure and she didn't seem to notice or feel any discomfort altohugh she had an ulcer under her tongue for a few days afterwards. i think it is harder to treat when they are older so might be worth asking about. So glad she's putting on weight. All the best to you.
     

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