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Australia will win the Ashes.

Discussion in 'Teaching abroad' started by yasimum, Dec 2, 2010.

  1. What's your point, Yas?

  2. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

  3. I know the old saying, but I haven't heard my turkey stuffed misses practise her scales [​IMG] in years....
  4. percy topliss

    percy topliss Established commenter

    Oh no they wont...........................!
  5. Not well for Australia, Im afraid. England won 3-1, so I heard on the ABC news. I just couldnt watch it anymore after the debacle at the MCG. However, I must admit to being impressed by the England side's gentlemanly play on the day.
    BTW Happy New Year to you and your family, M.
  6. Mainwaring

    Mainwaring Lead commenter

    And the very same to you and yours.
    As a matter of fact I DID know the result but I like to tease Yasimum.
  7. I imagined so but I wanted to tease as well. I hope you dont mind.
    Rebuffed yet again. [​IMG]
  8. ian60

    ian60 New commenter

    Sorry about this Yasimum, but I coudn't resist pasting these:

    What do you call an Australian that can handle a bat? A vet

    WHAT do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an OXO cube? A laughing stock. The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting. They want to ask their advice about going downhill so fast!What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director? A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes. Did you hear what the stump microphones picked up when The Ashes skippers tossed the coin on Boxing Day? Andrew Strauss called correctly and, quick as a flash, said to Ricky Ponting: “You lads can bat.’’ Just as quick, Ponting replied: “No, we can’t. We really can’t.” What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand? A waiter. Of everyone in the Aussie team, who spends the most time at the crease? The woman who irons their cricket whites. What’s the height of optimism? An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen. Why did the Aussie break his leg throwing a ball? He forgot it was chained to his foot.What is the main function of the Australia coach? To transport the team from the hotel to the ground. On his way out into the middle to bat, Ricky Ponting gets a call from his wife and teammate Michael Hussey tells her he’s heading out to the middle.
    His wife replies: “I’ll hold, he won’t be long!” What’s the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car? Nothing! If you blink you’ll miss them both. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad? The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats. What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common? Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from. What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet? The entire Australian innings. What’s the Australian version of LBW? Lost, Beaten, Walloped. Why is Ricky Ponting cleverer than Houdini? Because he can get out without even trying. What does Ricky Ponting put in his hands to make sure the next ball is almost certainly going to be a wicket? A bat. What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ? A vacant lot. Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX? Because they can’t spell beer. Why can’t Australian blokes take their girlfriends to the cricket? They eat all the grass. What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson? They both wore gloves for no apparent reason. Heard the one about the Englishman who was stopped by Australian immigration officers at Sydney airport? They asked him if he had a criminal record.
  9. ian60

    ian60 New commenter

    Sorry, lost the formatting, it doesn't normally do that for me
  10. SMT dude

    SMT dude New commenter

    The volume of Ian's post - and it would have been a record-breaker if the paragraphs had survived - indicates just how long we had to wait.
    I'm not convinced of the wisdom of giving aussies a verbal pummelling even at times like this, so will just say how much happiness it caused me to share the final day (online) with octogenarian Yorkshire Dad, and close with a polite New Year's greeting to yazza, notyet and any others lurking here.
    Let's hope the poor sodden Queenslanders get a respite soon.

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