Sorry, this is more of a wail into the void than a need for any kind of answers, but as the title says, I'm absolutely at the end of my tether. Husband is 40 and has gout. This was discovered about 10 years ago. He was put on an initial dose of allopurinol to manage it, and told to come back in 6 months to have blood tests and adjust the dose up to something that's appropriate for him. Needless to say, he didn't go back, he didn't get the dose adjusted and he lived in constant pain with attacks every 6 weeks or so because the dose is far too low. Two years ago, it got to boiling point after a flare up coincided with the birth of my 3rd child (via c-section) and 48 hours after my op, he retired to his sick bed because it was too painful to walk, leaving me to cater for 2 older kids and a newborn and all the medications I was supposed to take by myself. It was a week of absolute hell for me and the worst pain I've ever been in and he just ducked out and thought only of himself. If it weren't for the eldest Orklet, I don't know how the kids and I would have coped. Anyway, that nearly caused a divorce and he promised to go back to the doctors and get the dose of his medication sorted. He did, the dose was doubled, but that is still a very small dose for a very large man, and the doctor estimated he'd need something more like 6 times the amount he was currently taking, but wanted to increase slowly with blood tests inbetween to check when the dosage was right. Sensible eh? Needless to say, husband didn't return to the doctor and has remained on the second dose for the last 2 years, continuing to have almost constant flareups, living with constant pain. His mobility is severely restricted now. It takes him 5 minutes to get up from the sofa. 20 minutes to get out of bed. I'm getting scared of leaving the littlest with him because he can't chase him. The other week, he got the baby out of the car, put him down and baby bolted across the carpark. Husband couldn't chase him (or even walk after him - he shuffles and limps) so we're just lucky that there were no cars coming. It terrifies me that we won't be so lucky next time, but I can't physically be there with them all the time so it's a constant worry when I'm at work and he's doing the pick ups from nursery. Last week I checked in the medicine cupboard and he's all out of allopurinol, so can't be taking this medicine he needs daily. I've given it a week in case he was keeping them at work, but no, there are none. He's also run out of his prescription for naproxen, which he usually takes when he's having a severe flare up. So all he's left with is 400mg tablets of ibuprofen, and some colchicine. Recently he's been getting sick a lot. Like vomit sick. Both ibuprofen and colchicine are not great for your stomach, and all my instincts are screaming that he's been overdoing the painkillers because he's run out of his prescription some time ago and so is in increasing amounts of pain. All this rather than take 10 minutes to make a doctors appointment and go get a blood test. I just can't do this anymore. I can't keep on top of his medical stuff. I can't keep nagging at him because I can't stand it and he just gets angry and sulks for days. But I can't keep limiting my life according to whether he'll be able to walk the 20 yards from here to there or not, especially when he can't be bothered to go and at least try and get better. All he wants to do, all the time is sit in his den and play the PS4. Every night for hours. He's made no effort to lose weight or increase his mobility in the times when he isn't in chronic pain - which are now very rare. He's happy to sit and become someone who has worse mobility than most 80 year olds, is in constant pain and as a result is always grumpy and irritable, because it's less effort than trying to get better. I can't anymore. I don't even think there's enough of the marriage left worth saving. The only thing I feel when I look at him is resentment now.