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At last a diagnosis... Mum's been told she has Alzheimers.

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Mrs Mo, Jul 13, 2011.

  1. Took mum to the memory clinic today - sat through a couple of hours of questions and memory tests with a psychologist. Mum only scored 51 out of 100 and 15/30 in the mini mental state test. The psychologist said mum had definitely deteriorated quite markedly since her last assessment one year ago, and gave her a diagnosis of dementia, most probably Alzheimers. She has now referred mum to the consultant for confirmation of her diagnosis. So not good news but at least I have had my suspicions confirmed at last.
    My mum doesnt seem too bothered - she doesnt know much about dementia thankfully (ignorance is bliss I guess) . In fact she is relieved that at last they will be able to give her some meds to help.
    Not looking forward to breaking this news to my husband. Mum lives with us so things could start to get very difficult.[​IMG]
     
  2. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    I've been (still going!) down this road with my mum, Mrs Mo. It's not an easy situation and you have my every sympathy. My mum was able (albeit not very successfully) to remain in her own home, with support for about 3 years after her formal diagnosis. Following a crisis in February, social services staged an intervention and mum is now in a beautiful care home and seems very happy.
    Make sure you grab every bit of support you're entitled to with both hands and do not be afraid to admit it when you do need help.
    If you need an ear or just want a good vent, feel free to post here or PM me.
    manny
     
  3. Life a bi*ch.
    Thinking of you both.
     
  4. My mum also has dementia and stayed at home for as long as possible. She had a brain scan which diagnosed hers as vascular dementia and there was no medication that could help halt her deterioration. She has now been in a care home for nearly two years. We are currently selling her home to pay the fees and it is very sad to be clearing out her and my dad's life. We have failed when we have tried to bring her out for family occasions, such as Christmas. She hasn't enjoyed them and wanted taking back in the middle of the meals. It's our guilt that thinks she should be with us, whilst she is happy to stay put. She is now well looked after, while care at home was unpredictable and did not meet her needs. Make sure that you get all the help you can and make sure that you don't put your own and your husbands needs last.
     
  5. Thanks. Adult Social Care have been in touch - they want to do a carer's assessment with me so at least the wheels are kind of in motion. The last few weeks seem to have been so completely manic. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to do all the things I have to do. Have been contemplating giving up work completely but I dont want to burn my bridges. Any hope of ever working again will be virtually zero because of my age.[​IMG]
     
  6. BelleDuJour - that's terrible! Surely the rules are that whilst one partner remains in the house, it cant be sold? I'd definitely get legal advice on this because surely it matters not who owns what proportion of the property; the issue is that somebody is still living there. My mum has already sold her house so at least we are over that hurdle. I'm sure when it comes to it, the "thieving ***" will be after every penny of her money! I'm hoping they introduce this cap on fees as soon as possible.
     
  7. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    True. It cannot be sold while Mum is alive but she sold the marital home and downsized, which she is allowed to do. There was almost £20k left over which she split 50/50 with Dad. The LA is after her 50% saying all excess capital is Dad's.
    I have a copy of the Dep for Health's guidlines for residential homes charging and no way does it say htey can do this. The letter I've had back from the LA says 'it hterfore follows that all remaining capital belongs to the resident' (care home resident) but it doesn't say this at all. They are trying it on and it is willful misinterpretation and flies in the face of property law.
    If they don't back down I'll suggest they sue. They will not.
    If you want a copy of the guidelines PM me and I'll send you the link.
     
  8. Ah, I see now. I honestly dont think they'd have a leg to stand on - get a lawyer onto it and I reckon they'll back down. We have had similar run-ins with the NHS over my dad's continuing care, which they said he no longer qualified for despite the fact that he was completely bedridden and required tube feeding through a peg in his stomach every few hours by a qualified nurse. We stood our ground and they eventually backed down. Gits.[​IMG] I honestly think they rely on the fact that the whole thing is so complicated that many people, particularly elderly and confused folk, will just accept what they're told and not question the legality of it.
     
  9. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    That's what I told Mum when she asked me why are they doing this.
    I reckon they rely on people just signing a cheque. It makes me so mad. Look up 'Pamela Coughlan versus NHS case' and that is the legal precedent for fees being paid. If a patient's needs are as bad or worse than Pamela's they are entitled to free care. My own Dad is in a far worse state so we are going for the NHS jugular!

     
  10. Check with the Alzheimers website they have lots of useful info and a forum where folks who have been through similiar things can help you. My mother has Az, she is now quite compliant although she only knows me when I speak as I look far too old and haggard to be her daughter and she does not recognise my youngest as she has dyed her hair a different colour. I have to say that the Aricept seemed to halt the progression of the horrible disease for several years, we were lucky and got her on it prior to the NICE edict that it was only to be given to those in middle/late stages, not sure if it has changed now. Dementia is an awful disease but there is help and support available. Check to see if there is an Admiral nurse in your area, they are specialists. Mother in law has vascular dementia so am becoming quite the expert in differences between these two types of dementia. PM me if you need any help.
     
  11. We're just at the arguing stage re fees with mum in law's authority. OH used his very best persuasive technqiues and has managed to get 6 weeks care fully paid while the care home assess her. She leaves hospital (having been there since 6th April) to go into the care home on Monday.
    We're hoping that as she needs nursing care for bowel problems, she qualifies for the top level of funding but it's looking like she only qualifies for the middle level funding, which means we have to pay a top up fee and she loses her pension. Whilst we have no objection to her state pension being used to pay for care, losing her private pension seems a bit harsh. I shall look at the case, and use as argument! Thanks Belle.
     
  12. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Steffiw....I shall PM you a link to the Charging Guidelines. It's a long document but well worth trawling through.
     
  13. so sorry for your loss Belle
     
  14. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Thank you. A release and a relief but still very sad.
     
  15. I'm so sorry about your dad[​IMG], From what you said previously, he didn't have much quality of life but he was still your dad and I'm sure you feel pretty devastated.
    Do you think the nursing home will still want to pursue your mum for the money?
     
  16. Sorry to hear of your loss Belle. I feel like that I have already lost my mum in many ways, but I will still be devastated when she dies. I still feel like I should be ringing her at home like I always used to, but she doesn't even know who I am anymore. Had a chat to my MIL instead tonight.
     
  17. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Yes. I know I lost my Dad years ago, but to lose the physical body is different. It´s hard.....I know and I feel for anyone in this awful situation.
    My Dad, God rest his soul, has now found his peace at long last.
     
  18. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    It's not the nursing home it's the local authority. Have taken legal adbice and they've not a leg to stand on......cheating barstewards!
    The nursing home have been brilliant. Mum pays in advance and they've already refunded her within a week of Dad passing away.
     

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