1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Ask permission to change babies nappy

Discussion in 'Personal' started by delmamerchant, May 12, 2018.

  1. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

  2. Doitforfree

    Doitforfree Star commenter

    And what happens when your pooey toddler says, 'No thank you'?!
    Jamvic likes this.
  3. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    Clothes pegs on noses?
  4. install

    install Star commenter

    Where will this lead to ....:eek:

    And what about asking permission if Mummy wants to feed baby?.:eek::eek::eek:

    Or to teach baby to speak ? :confused::confused::confused:
  5. Lazycat

    Lazycat Senior commenter

    What utter nonsense. What about when the baby is raw from nappy rash because you weren’t able to obtain permission. Bonkers!
    Laphroig likes this.
  6. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

    Did you ask before you posted those opinions?
    Lazycat likes this.
  7. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    Ridiculous philosophy about babies and consent and ridiculous hair to boot. A rare combination in feckwittery.
    onmyknees, bevdex and Laphroig like this.
  8. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    I cannot bear those parents who "negociate" with their toddlers. It's cold, ***, just put a coat on the child!
    Laphroig and sbkrobson like this.
  9. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    The most I ever did was do a running commentary, such as "mummy's going to change your nappy now." It was more about developping their listening and verbal skills.
    The idea of asking a baby or toddler for permission is ridiculous. A child with a sore bottom does not want you touching it but doesn't realise that it will be more sore if it's not bathed.
    When they are old enough you can give them some choices. I'd ask mine if they wanted me or daddy to change them (mention daddy last and they'll pick him!) or if they wanted to brush their teeth before or after having their bath. Those choices get them buying into your bedtime schedule for them. Without it, if I told my son it was time for his bath he'd kick off and say NO! He never had a tantrum after making a choice over the order of doing my bidding.
    grumpydogwoman and Laphroig like this.
  10. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    She said her words had been twisted and all she meant was that we should communicate with babies while changing their nappies.
    If you interpret it as the idea that from a very young age we should be involving a baby in the things we do to it to keep it warm, fed, clean etc by communicating, then I don't really see the problem. I don't think it was intended to mean that we should ask permission from newborns.
    But I've always talked to my babies when changing, bathing, feeding them etc anyway so it doesn't seem like a ridiculous idea to me. If anything it seems silly that it needs to be said.

    I must admit that I've always worried about other people changing my children's nappies - not because I didn't trust them personally, but because I've felt odd about the fact that my kids might feel that people just pulling down their pants and touching their genitals is normal and ok.

    So I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest that children take an active role in caring for their own bodies and staying in control of who touches them by at least keeping them informed of what we're doing as we carry out the more intimate tasks involved in their care. I would never dream of just grabbing my child and wiping his butt. I always ask him to turn round, bend over etc and i keep on at him if he doesn't comply straight away, just as I do when I tell him to go to bed and he doesn't want to. It doesn't mean I leave him with a pooey bottom just because I ask him if I can wipe him rather than just do it.
  11. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    It's simply an extension of something started a few decades ago, that young people can be heard as well as seen.
    Trouble is, nobody saw a good time to stop this, and that's why we now have kids presenting us with words of entitlement rather than basic cooperation when we say, for example, "please go and sit over there because I judge that to be a better place for you and for everybody in the room". These are kids who have been raised to have a voice because we have had to allow that if we truly care. If we are not oppressors.
    Heck nobody will stop this, will they? In a few years time, birthing mothers already at 8 inches dilation and in the extremes of labour agony will no longer be encouraged to "push", but they will be expected to stop and ask the emerging slippery child "would you like to come out now or do you want to enjoy being warm and coddled in there for another ten minutes or so?" Being a Cesarean child will be a mitigating circumstance in criminal sentencing, because "right from the get go, they never had a voice..."
    racroesus and Laphroig like this.
  12. secretsiren

    secretsiren Star commenter

  13. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    She still has ridiculous hair, though.


    Perhaps if she wants to be taken seriously...
    sabrinakat likes this.
  14. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Presumably not written permission?
  15. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    8 cms dilated, surely? There'd be no need to push if we dilated to 8 inches!
    nomad and monicabilongame like this.
  16. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter


    I suppose I'm just going by what my OH has always led me to believe is 8 inches...said the seventies comedian.
    cassandramark2, nomad and Laphroig like this.
  17. grumbleweed

    grumbleweed Star commenter

    Yes agree completely. I work in early years and the number of nursery staff who just pick babies up, often from behind, without saying anything is quite remarkable. I don' think it was said to form a negotiation, rather a communication of the 'shall we change that nappy' baby.ese type talk. It's probably what many of us did as parents or family. I don' interpret it as 'permission' as such.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  18. colpee

    colpee Star commenter

    So is the ‘expert’ really just saying “talk to your children”

    Gosh, Yawn....
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  19. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I think @jubilee covered it pretty well in post #9.

    "Come on, toots. I think it's time for a nappy change. Right then, let's get you on the mat." And so on.

    Jeepers! The struggles I had with my older daughter when she was 3, 4, 5. Crossing her legs and clearly needing to go. Would she? Ha!

    (I don't mean PHYSICAL struggles. I mean me saying, "Do you need the toilet, dear?" Her saying that she did not!)
  20. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    The Americans crashed on Mars.

Share This Page