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As good as accused by a member of the SMT, in public, of lying, and I'm seething.

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by inky, Mar 16, 2012.

  1. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Perhaps I should add that I'm not the most assertive of people and I don't find it easy to stand up for myself. On this occasion I tried to do so, in a calm and non-accusatory way. This attempt was rebuffed, in front of colleagues [thank God] and in a manner so contemptuous and peremptory that I was left reeling.
    Please don't say that it's just one of those things. I feel deeply insulted.
  2. It's awful inky and you shouldn't be made to feel like that. I wouldn't hold my breath for an apology from SMT though - I have found some of them incapable of admitting wrongdoing or errors of jusgement and therefore would not understand the need for an apology.
  3. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Thanks, Ruthie.
    The fact is, I must demand an apology [like we do of the children] and I've got to be brave. Not easy! Maybe I'll ask a friend/witness to accompany me to see the HT as a first port of call if I'm rebuffed again. I'll make sure that, before doing that, I give the person a quiet but public [ie lunchtime in the staffroom] chance to admit that she was mistaken.
    I don't buy the 'would not understand the need for an apology' line. Being accused of lying is aserious charge!
  4. Hi Inky - I think you are absolutely right to ask for an apology and to expect one however my experience is that some people will either deny that was what they said or will say that it wasn't what they meant. I think when they have got into that mind set then they find it impossible to apologise - even to the extent of being incapable of saying "I'm sorry if anything I did upset you that wasn't my intention".
    I'm not saying you shouldn't expect or ask for the apology but just that you shouldn't be too surprised if you don't get it.
    Good luck with your quest
  5. have just treid to edit the typos in this but it wouldn't let me - apologies.
  6. Oh and now the edited version has appeared - weird!
  7. Boogum

    Boogum New commenter

    I really feel for you, this happens all too often. It could be interpreted by some as a form of bullying by senior management. In fact I know that in one school a similar incident (again a public accusation that could have been interpreted as accusing someone of lying) was treated as such by the SMT, The incident was seen as serious but it was by a middle manager (HOD) towards a junior departmental collegue.
    You should expect an apology BUT make sure you have a friendly witness at any meting asking for one (maybe a union rep?) or you could get into difficulties with a difficult manager and without a witness ............
    You may have a justified official grievance against this person and could site the burgandy book and insist on the full procedure (it happened in the incident I mentioned to the surprise of the senior who now has a written record) so by simply asking for an apology is quite minor by comparison.
  8. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Thank you, Boogum. I've decided to ask a witness to the conversation to come with me to the HT next week.
    As far as the accusation being 'public' is concerned, it was made in front of people who heard but was not a public accusation as such, if you see what I mean. \actualy, I'm glad I wasn't alone when I tackled the SMT member about what I'd assumedwould be a closed matter once the truth had been given to her. No, not the truth exactly [though it was] but my word, which I was shocked that she poo-poohed.
  9. Rott Weiler

    Rott Weiler Star commenter Forum guide

    A formal grievance would be the step to take but it isn't the Burgundy Book you need to cite (Burgundy Book doesn't deal with grievance procedure), it's your own school's grievance policy. Worth getting hold of a copy of it.
  10. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Thanks for that information, Boogum.
    I hope it'll all be sorted out informally.
    But I'm not prepared to be walked all over.
  11. Boogum

    Boogum New commenter

    Oops, sorry, you are right Rott, it is the grievance procedure of the school not the burgundy book. You just may actually trigger alarms in your favour by simple asking for a copy of the schools grievance procedure without going any further.
    Hope it gets sorted more informally though.
    The case I cited wasn't exactly a "public anouncement" either, just rather loud comments in a sarcastic tone directed at a junior collegue doubting her integrity in a crowded staffroom. It was counted as being public slander by those that delt with it.

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